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I died, but came back ... as a wolf

Tác giả: R33C3
Huyền huyễn
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  • 74 ch
    Nội dung
  • 4.0
    15 số lượng người đọc
  • NO.200+
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Tóm tắt

The daughter of an underworld family leader grew up isolated and unloved . However the daughter didn't want this life, so on the night of her (forced) marriage she killed herself and her newly wed husband. She doesn't know how or why but she came back in video game-like world as a wolf.

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1 thẻ
Chapter 1The Beginning of the End

Growing up Sarah believed that being left alone and uncared for was normal until the day she overheard her maids/jailors talking about her and her mother. From what she understood is that her mother had slept with another man and then gave birth to their bastard child. After realising what would happen if she was caught she ran away with the new born child and forsook her daughter to stay and take her fathers wrath in her place which resulted in her neglection and isolation. Years went by quickly and Sarah's heart grew colder and more despairing as she found out what her place in the family was, a bargaining chip to be used to tie another family to her rotten man of a father so he could garner more power. Although neglected by her father as a child she still received the utmost care and education expected from those of power however whenever she was found to be slacking or behind in any area her 'maids' would beat her until she did what she was told of her.

~16 years old, in her fathers study~

She had barely walked in the study when she heard a commanding voice telling her to sit down. She curtly responded "Yes, father" as she sat down on the chair. Gracefully sitting down she noticed there were two people sitting with her father. Sarah felt uncomfortable under their stare as she felt like an item being appraised before being sold. "Your daughter is indeed a stunning beauty Collin. What do you think about her Richard?" asked the older man to the younger man (Richard). "Hmmm, she is definitely beautiful but something feels missing. Very well, lets go ahead with it then" Richard evaluated her whilst stroking his chin. Collin seemed happy with the response from Richard and looked at her with praise since the first time she was born. "Isn't that wonderful Sarah, Richard here has decided that you suit him and will be his wife" he looked at her like if she said or did anything wrong she would suffer another punishment. Her heart heat seized by fear she could only respond by meekly nodding her head in agreement.

~6 months later in a honeymoon suite in morocco~

Heavy breathing filled the room as Richard lay down after consummating the marriage. Sarah is laying their with cold eyes and a stone heart, she gets up heading towards the restroom.

Looking at herself with disgust in the mirror, she punches forward with her right fist.

*Smash*

She feels no pain from the laceration to her fist, Sarah looks down at her feet to see a long triangle shaped shard from the glass and starts to think 'I could just end it all now and stop suffering' and 'I shouldn't be the only one to suffer'. Picking up the shard and exiting the restroom she calmly walks back to the bed where Richard was lying down.

"Hey, what was all that noise about?" he inquired without turning his head back to look. Sarah ignores his question and continues to calmly walk towards him with the shard in hand, raising it as she sits next to him. She plunges it in the back of his neck paralyzing him from the neck and below. She pulls out the shard as quickly as she put it in and then decisively plunges the shard into her heart to finish it all. Her soul was departing from this world to join whatever came next, a pulling force stole her from her original path and placed her within a dark space within the void where nothing and everything existed.

"Hmmm, you've had quite the pitiful life I see" A mysterious voice spoke to her soul

Floating within the dark space without caring whether the voice existed or not, Sarah just stares blankly towards the void yearning for her soul to dissipate into nothingness.

"Hahaha, you are the first mortal to ignore me in eons, very well, I'll just send you there and see if you can still remain as calm as now" the mysterious voice playfully said.

Sarah was suddenly ejected from the void towards a world where magic and races such as elves existed.

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sdwilliams619
sdwilliams619Lv4

To start out, i'm sorry for the harsh rating because I really don't hate this story. It's an interesting concept but I don't think you've explored fully. Lets start with the MC. I know she likes her ******* and she had a ****ty past, okay fine, but who is she really? What are her likes and dislikes? How does she feel about her current situation? How is she adapting to her new body? Did her new senses overwhelm her at first? How did she handle raw meat? Is she afraid of this new world even while happy to be away from her old one? Is she bothered by the lack of modern conveniences? How did she feel during her first fight and kill as a wolf? I want her to be happy but I feel as though I will never know if she is because it doesn't come across well in your writing. As for my other issues, for starters l won't comment on the story because there is not much there yet. I'm sure you have a plan for it so i'll leave that be. The problem is the world building. I feel like she was just plopped in this new place and she just blew it off. What does the world look like? Is it a cold or hot place? Is it a beautiful place or is it dark and scary? What does it look like? What does it smell, sound, and feel like? To be fair I don't know much about the world yet because the MC doesn't, but there is still a lot you can get across with her senses, even just what she sees would be more than what we have now. My last problem is a bit nitpicky I admit. I don't really like the time jumps. In my personal opinion they take me out of the fantasy of it and make me very aware of the fact that i'm reading a story. I just feel that you could have done something with that. Maybe use it to get a feel for her new body and how to run with it, maybe get across the feeling of her getting stronger by going over her last kill in her head and how she handled it, basically introspection. They don't have to be that important, but if all you want is a scene transition I just feel that there are better ways. Again I feel that I have to stress I really don't hate this story and i'm not trying to pick on you. You have a really good story idea but I think it's just not explored very well. Anyway I hope this helps.

Lazzyname
LazzynameLv14

I’m sorry that I can’t give this one a better review, if certain things improve in the future then I may update it. But here’s what I’ve got: Good things: honestly the premise of the story is the biggest bonus and it’s the thing that has me continuing on despite the flaws. I greatly enjoy having a strong female lead and love the video-game like leveling system. Another pro is that around 60 chapters in it still isn’t a stereotypical romance novel. Could use improvement: the biggest flaw in this novel is honestly the writing quality. It’s pretty clear that the author is a novice writer with a plethora of poor sentence structures, lack of quality editing, and some issues in maintaining believable dialogue. The second biggest flaw is that the main characters seems to loose their strength when they group together. When the FL was alone she showed strength and the ability to reason, but when she joins others her personality becomes solely a traumatized woman who doesn’t want to open up to the world. When she does have a breakthrough it happens so suddenly that it doesn’t represent a realistic growth. I would recommend that the author trust themself more about how the characters would act. Even if the readers don’t like a particular character and you need them to leave they should do so without going against the pre-conceived personality and party dynamics. Basically this story has some potential but needs help in the writing quality and the character development. If those two things happen I could see this becoming a great novel because the premise really is quite good. So I hope that in the future I can update this review and give it more stars.

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