To start out, i'm sorry for the harsh rating because I really don't hate this story. It's an interesting concept but I don't think you've explored fully. Lets start with the MC. I know she likes her ******* and she had a ****ty past, okay fine, but who is she really? What are her likes and dislikes? How does she feel about her current situation? How is she adapting to her new body? Did her new senses overwhelm her at first? How did she handle raw meat? Is she afraid of this new world even while happy to be away from her old one? Is she bothered by the lack of modern conveniences? How did she feel during her first fight and kill as a wolf? I want her to be happy but I feel as though I will never know if she is because it doesn't come across well in your writing. As for my other issues, for starters l won't comment on the story because there is not much there yet. I'm sure you have a plan for it so i'll leave that be. The problem is the world building. I feel like she was just plopped in this new place and she just blew it off. What does the world look like? Is it a cold or hot place? Is it a beautiful place or is it dark and scary? What does it look like? What does it smell, sound, and feel like? To be fair I don't know much about the world yet because the MC doesn't, but there is still a lot you can get across with her senses, even just what she sees would be more than what we have now. My last problem is a bit nitpicky I admit. I don't really like the time jumps. In my personal opinion they take me out of the fantasy of it and make me very aware of the fact that i'm reading a story. I just feel that you could have done something with that. Maybe use it to get a feel for her new body and how to run with it, maybe get across the feeling of her getting stronger by going over her last kill in her head and how she handled it, basically introspection. They don't have to be that important, but if all you want is a scene transition I just feel that there are better ways. Again I feel that I have to stress I really don't hate this story and i'm not trying to pick on you. You have a really good story idea but I think it's just not explored very well. Anyway I hope this helps.
Liked by 10 people
LIKE*Freedom - the feeling of being free (for some reason the website crossed it out sorry)
That's a long review
I thought it was good premise but it just needed some constructive criticism.
Thanks for pointing that out for me, I'll make sure to work on it in the future
That was a great review and some good critics to be honest, i want to copying it down for future references if you dont mind. :)
I appreciate that and I don't mind at all. If it helps, you can use any of it.
MrTrixer:That was a great review and some good critics to be honest, i want to copying it down for future references if you dont mind. :)
