Chapter (8) An Apology

(Alpha Pov)

'Because when your team loses. You lose as well,' Mendez's words still reverberated through my mind. After the bell test, the day had gone on as usual but I just seemed to be unable to forget his words.

'What did he mean by that? I was stronger, faster, and better than everyone else therefore I won. Is that not right? How could I simultaneously lose while I was first?' I kept asking myself questions about where I had gone wrong. I asked myself what Mendez was trying to say with his words, I asked what the purpose of the test was. My questioning internally went on for hours with no answers being found.

My teammates specifically Kelly and Linda looked at me with hateful gazes and even Fred, one of the friendliest in classes, gave me an annoyed gaze every time we were near each other. That confused me more, it was their weakness that dragged us down had they been able to keep up with me, we would have smoked the rest of the competition.

'But inversely I could have helped them, but we wouldn't be the first to reach the bell.' I began to wonder what other options I had throughout the test. Eventually, I was able to uncover the crux of my issue and was able to limit the subject to two questions

What is winning for us? And what does it mean to win in war?

These two questions I didn't know where to start when it came to finding answers. So knowing myself and that if I didn't get my answers I decided to get them from the horse's mouth. Which leads me to where I am now.

Standing

In front of Mendez's door

When I am supposed to be at dinner.

'This is probably a terrible idea, but fuck it' I exhaled deeply before raising my fist to the metal door.

*knock*

*knock*

*knock*

I heard some stomping around inside the office immediately after my knocks. If I had to guess Mendez was probably eating his dinner in his office while doing work. I was anxious about what he would say because I desired the truth. I didn't want to be given the phrase 'You will understand it when you are older' that would be stupid. I am currently engaging in military training which is supposedly only for adults the least they could do is give me an answer to help better do my job.

*𝘴𝘴𝘴𝘵*

"...Trainee 017 what are you doing here?" Mendez opened the door to his office and peered down at me. He had taken off his dust cover and the green mesh-like army vest filled to the brim with patches and sowed in armor and was instead just wearing the black undersuit.

"I have some questions," I said, getting straight to the point.

Mendez took a minute and studied my expression, "What about trainee?" he said, still analyzing me with his microscope eyes.

"I have some questions about what you said after the test today, and what exactly was it that I did wrong," I said with a serious expression.

Mendez paused again, taking a moment to look away and think. He shot a couple more glances at me to gauge my expression before grumbling and turning around, "Take a seat Alpha," he pointed to a chair in front of his desk.

Mendez's office was quite large. Couches flanked both sides of the room with tables on either end of both. The wall behind him was filled in with large windows letting in the setting sun. The walls were filled with memorabilia depicting Operation: TREBUCHET, a UNSC counteroffensive against the insurrectionist forces in the Epsilon Eridani system. Déjà had given me a rundown on some details after I asked about it in class one day a week or two ago.

Besides the memorabilia, there was little to no decoration and the office looked fairly barren. I doubt anyone took the effort to visit him in his office if the stacks of paper were any indicator.

"Where would you like me to begin?" Mendez asked as he sat in his office chair. He leaned back and interlaced his hands together in front of him.

I thought for a moment, "Why does it matter whether I alone win or if my team is with me? In the test I was first, therefore I won right?" I posed my first question.

He began to speak immediately as if he already knew what question I would ask, "Because you didn't win Alpha," he paused, "Yes you were the first candidate to ring the bell there is no doubt about that, but that was not the goal of the test. The goal of the test was for you along with your team to work together and complete the course as fast as possible. The key word in all of this being together,"

I began to open my mouth to speak but he raised a hand to silence me, "Now as for why do you need to be part of a team? That's simple because:" He leaned in from across his desk, "You. Are. Not. Invincible." He emphasized saying each word with a pause.

"No matter how strong, fast, or smart you may be, a single bullet is always more than enough to kill you. If that doesn't work we have developed poisons, bombs, and an array of other devices that are specifically for the act of killing someone else," He leaned back into his chair putting both elbows on his desk and interlacing his hands again, "My point is in a practical sense having teammates gives the enemy someone else to shoot at besides you. You can't do everything nor will you want to do everything required for modern combat, so we put you soldiers into teams, otherwise if being a lone wolf was more advantageous we would have done it already,"

I took a deep breath before I responded. I understood what he was saying but it still rubbed me the wrong way that if I were to do as he said and help my team, that I would practically be holding myself back. If I had to constantly assist them then that would, in turn, drag me down and at that point, no one would win, "I…understand what you are saying sir, but am I just supposed to… babysit them?" I argue back.

"Alpha... Let me ask 𝐲𝐨𝐮 a question," Mendez emphasized 'you' with an annoyed expression, "Let us say you and your team are behind enemy lines. You trip and fall down an embankment and shatter your femur," he spoke without changing the glint in his eyes. His words flowed as if this wasn't much of a hypothetical at all, making his words all the more serious, "You can't walk, and you are miles away from any friendlies. From your reasoning if I was the leading soldier in the platoon I should just leave you behind, should I not?"

My face began to turn white as a sheet as I realized the hole forming in my argument. Nonetheless, I nodded in response, I braced myself as Mendez began to shred my previous line of thinking apart.

"I think you are beginning to understand my point Alpha, 'Every dog has its day'. Make sure you remember that Alpha because for the past couple of days, it has been awfully convenient for you to look down on the rest of your class. Especially when the roles can 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 easily be reversed by an accidental injury or illness," Chief Mendez spoke with venom spewing from his mouth as he called out my hypocrisy…and I don't blame him because… he was right and I deserved it.

Chief Mendez's reprimand lasted for at least another ten minutes where he continued to grind my previous line of reasoning to dust and made sure that I knew just how wrong it was. Eventually, I was done with my questions and him with his reprimand and I began to turn around to leave. I said a simple goodbye and began to walk out, but before I walked out I noticed him begin typing something up on his computer. While I was curious why he immediately seemed to change what he was doing before I came in, it wasn't my business, and besides he had already dismissed me to return to the cafeteria.

As I began to walk to the mess hall I thought about what Mendez had said deeply and had to admit that he was correct. Though I may be better in most aspects than my peers, could I keep that lead forever? Could I, as an individual, be able to outdo the other teams who had four heads working in conjunction? It would be the height of arrogance to think I could… which is what I have been.

Arrogant and Ignorant

Déjà had been warning us of rulers in ancient times who had led their kingdoms to ruin, and nearly all of them had one of the traits or both of them. Yet here I am discounting my teammates when I haven't even attempted to try and work with them. It's illogical what I have been doing, and had I continued on this path I would have gotten someone injured or killed. For that, I am thankful that Chief Mendez was clear with my issue and readily pointed out the holes in my reasoning.

*𝘴𝘴𝘴𝘵*

The door to the cafeteria and I walked in. The cafeteria was filled with the rest of my classmates and today it seemed everyone was generally segregated sitting within their respective teams. They all were eating what seemed to be turkey with a variety of other vegetables to go along with it. I felt a small pang of hunger seeing it but kept in mind that I had made my bed and should lie in it.

I began to make my way over to my team, the mood was somber and John was nowhere to be seen. As I neared the table the members of the blue team began to set their hunger-driven glares on me. Kelly held an ice pack to her face and had the meanest glare fixed upon me, "Get out of here," she said with resentment present in her voice.

I sat down in front of the three of them and looked at each of them in their eyes as I began to speak, "I am sorry for how I acted. I was wrong and because of that I damaged the team and lost us dinner. It won't happen again, next time we'll win….together," I apologized to my teammates. To be honest I didn't really want to, not because I was wrong, but because it felt uncomfortable to admit I was wrong. However, if I was going to demand respect from them in the future as a teammate then I needed to have the decency to give them the same respect.

Linda's glare lessened with my apology but Kelly's remained just as sharp, Fred with narrowed eyes began to speak, "Is that supposed to fix things?" he said with a sarcastic tone.

"Yes," I said with complete honesty. My response seemed to increase Kelly's hostility because she tightened her free hand into a fist, "And how are we supposed to know you won't pull that shit again?" she asked with anger evident in her voice.

"You don't, you will simply have to wait and watch my actions because they speak louder than words. Besides, teams are built upon trust so as long as I trust you I would hope you all would be willing to trust me enough to allow me to prove myself," I said finally extinguishing the last flames of hate. Though Kelly still didn't view me favorably, and both Linda and Fred remained guarded they were willing to try.

And that I can work with.

At about that time, I saw John coming over. My acts of appeasement seemed to calm down our team members but it was evident that John also had not spoken to them since the test, "I am sorry guys, won't happen again," he said before reaching into his pockets, "They are a bit stale we stole them the other night," he gestured to me before dropping two handfuls of crackers that we had 'borrowed' the other night.

"It's better than nothing," Linda said before reaching over and grabbing a couple. We then began to eat our 'dinner' while talking about training and the like. It had been quite a while since I had, had a real conversation with someone my age. During the conversation, I was surprised to learn that my classmates had actually been kidnapped and weren't willing participants so to say.

That shocked me and made me feel more like a dick for the way I had been treating them. I didn't tell them why I had thought they were volunteers for the Spartan-II program. I myself didn't know whether to confront Dr. Halsey or whether I shouldn't, for now, I simply threw the topic to the back of my mind.

After some laughs our class was called and began making our way back to the barracks. This time however I knew I would not be waking up to do tasks alone as a individual, but instead part of a team.

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So yeah now Blue team has officially formed. Again as I said previously I originally wanted him to stay as an individual for a bit longer but decided against it. First Mendez would nip that in the bud instantly as any instructor would, especially one working with future super soldiers. Second though Alpha is stubborn he is still not stupid and is fairly intelligent, so once presented he would understand the logic behind we vs me. Thirdly John's actions in this chapter are quite literally what he did in cannon so I figured it would be for sheer drama if I didn't have Alpha do something similar.

So after this we will have a couple more chapters of training because this beginning will be the only real sunny day for a while. If you catch my drift. We will have the wilderness training, augmentations, probably a pov's chapter, the raid on Colonel Watts, probably will show the test of augmented spartans before that, and then we will be finally entering war with the battle of Alpha Chi Ceti.

So anyway I hope you all have a blessed day, and I will See You Star Side