Chapter XXIX

"Always smile baby sister, never let the world know the torment you conceal inside."

That's what your sister told you. She was never one to cry so easily, she is a headstrong young lady, and she will never show anyone her weakness, come hell or high water. That's why it was rather odd for you to witness her bawling her eyes out. That happened a few years back, when you are nothing more than a mere teenager who had no idea why hairs are suddenly growing at certain parts of your body, or why there are lumps growing on your chest. It was only now that you realize how much truth there is to her words.

"You gotta show the world that you're doing fine, even though you're slowly dying inside."

You smile bitterly at the thought. You've followed her words before, you believed in them, and it has helped you get through a lot, but that was when you were getting bullied. You have never thought that those words can be applied to conceal a broken heart, because you have never believed that you will ever fall for someone, at least, not as hard as you did for him.

"Keep your chin up and be confident, it tricks people into thinking that you're doing alright, that you've already moved on."

But how can you do that, when you can't even find the courage to move on? How can one really move on from the hurt? It would be better if she told you how you can live your life as it is, or how you can wear a smile so genuine, that even something so tragic can't break. Wouldn't it be better if you are indeed doing fine?

You heave a sigh and ponder for a while.

Maybe if you can teach yourself how to unlove someone, then you can finally be free of this pain, but you can't, and even though you somehow find a way out, you won't, you know you won't, you just love him too much.

"Are you even listening to me?" The person beside you snaps his fingers to somehow get your attention back, and you give him a weak attempt to smile.

"Especially you baby sister, your smile can fool anyone, so use it well, and never tell a single soul."

"Hey, what's wrong?" The person beside you asks as he knits his brows together.

That's what your sister said, yet somehow you failed to convince him. It almost always never works, you trying to hide your emotions from him, he just knows you too well.

"I'm just beat up about school." You heave a sigh. "All those major subjects are really taking its toll on me."

"Wow, you're getting pretty bad at lying." He gives you a thoughtful look. "Mind telling your best friend what's going on in that head of yours?"

"I told you, I'm jus-"

"I'm having none of that crap." He cuts you off, and you know you can never convince him, so you stood up and went for the door to your room and left his curious state.

"Just leave me alone, Chanyeol."

You hate to lash out on him, it was never his fault you're like this, so you keep your distance, but before you can take another step, he grabs your arm and pulls your body against his.

"You're hiding something from me." Irritation can be heard in his voice. "You never hide anything from me." His voice now a little softer.

You always hate it when he turns soft, because it always never fails to make you feel bad about yourself. He is always there to listen to you, always there to defend you, and right now, even if you want to keep quiet, you want so bad to tell him, to somehow ease away the pain.

"I-" Tears are slowly welling in your eyes, and you hitch a breath, fighting the urge to cry.

"I don't know anymore."

That was all it took for the male to wrap you in his warm embrace, and you choke out soft sobs, as your tears fall freely.

It's a good feeling, being held like this, yet the once comfort you felt from his embrace, somehow, it isn't enough. You know this isn't what you long for, and the only person who can pry you away from the pain is long gone. He no longer is a part of your life.

You remember the day he dumped you, back when you were so sure he would come running back to you. You waited for him for days on end, you respected his decision, and you thought that he might need a little more time for himself, yet he never showed up, and you always find yourself crying yourself to sleep. You tried looking for him in school, at his condo, even tried asking his friends about his whereabouts, yet you've failed miserably. It was like he was wiped off at the face of the earth. It was only a week later, your thoughts about the situation changed. You came to realize that he will never show his face again, that you're just waiting for nothing, so you went back on your feet. You tried to be strong again, to somehow be the person you once were before you met him, but that person, you can't find anymore. You admit that you became too dependent on him, that you fell for him way too deep, that's why it is so hard for you to move on. You've put on a façade to trick people that you're doing okay, even though you're broken inside, yet somehow, you're fooling no one but yourself. It was a downfall you never imagined yourself to be in.

"It's alright, everything's going to be alright." He says as he caresses your back gently, but you know that it won't, and you doubt that it ever will.

"Never show them a single tear, for when you do, that's when you lose the game."

But what else is there to conceal, when you've already lost the moment he walked out of your life?

-----

"What will you have?"

Chanyeol asks as he plays with your left hand. He reaches for your other hand, and intertwines it with his.

"Anything will do." You answer in a weak voice.

You removed your hands from his grasp, taking the tissue on the table, mindlessly playing with it. Chanyeol, on the other hand, watches your face carefully, trying to decode whatever it is that's running inside your mind.

"Alright." He sighed.

It was a pity, seeing you like this. He can never read you whenever you wear that stoic expression of yours, and it makes him feel so frustrated.

"I'll order us some food."

He marches towards the counter, looking back at you as he goes. Worry is written all over his face, and you force yourself to give him a reassuring smile, causing the male to heave out a sigh of relief.

You watch as your best friend stands in line at the coffee shop. Ever since you told him about the break up, you always find him on your doorstep, and even sometimes when you're about to go home from uni. Now here he is again on a Friday afternoon, on his day off, which should be a time where he should spend the entire day with his new girlfriend, but instead, he's inside this tiny coffee shop with you. Chanyeol knows you needed a friend, and he was so thoughtful to give you his time. There are only a few students inside, mostly because some still have classes, and you appreciate the silence. Wearily, you stand up from your sit to use the lady's room to freshen yourself up. You know you look like hell. Those sleepless nights and your school work has definitely taken its toll on you, but the moment you look at the direction of the comfort room, you couldn't seem to take another step.

You blink your eyes a couple of times, to somehow get a grip of yourself. You thought that maybe your eyes are fooling you, but the more you stare, the more it's easier to believe.

You feel the tugging of your chest, and how what feels like a large hand is clenching around your heart. You find it harder and harder to breath, and your knees slowly turn into jelly. Weakly, you sit back on the chair, your eyes still fixated on that same spot.

Maybe you are a masochist, because you keep on staring, even when you know you can't take the sight, and you feel the pain all the more, it was an overwhelming sense of defeat.

After two weeks of not seeing his face, there he is sitting casually inside the coffee shop. There's a bored expression painted on his handsome face, while he listens to the talking woman beside him.

You bite your bottom lip to suppress yourself. Wasn't there a three-month rule saying that you can't see another person within that period? It's only been two weeks since your break up, yet here he is, having a date with another woman.

You watch as the woman converses with Sehun, and how the male gives her a soft smile. That smile is so familiar to you, it was the same smile he used to give you, the same smile you love so much, only this time, it wasn't meant for you.

You can feel your chest heavy with emotions. How dare he tell you he loves you, when here he is beside another girl? Suddenly you feel so weak. All those attempts you did to get back on your feet, it was all for nothing. But before you start to break, you hear your best friend's cheery voice calling your name. You turn around to face his smiling face, while he shakes the drink in his hand.

"I bought you your favorite." He says, and the moment he sees your face, his smile slowly starts to vanish.

Chanyeol looked at the direction he saw you looking at earlier, and he saw the object that has caught your attention. His brows scrunched together immediately, but when he saw the male looking at you with so much longing in his eyes, he smirks and walks towards your direction.

"So where are we going on a date next?" Chanyeol asks, his voice a little too enthusiastic, yet you find it hard to reply.

Chanyeol, on the other hand, seeing how helpless you look, moves closer to you. He can clearly see how foolishly the other male is staring at the two of you, and how much fire is inside his eyes. It was of pure curiosity what he planned to do next, he merely wants to see how Sehun will react, so when he leans in closer to you, his lips brushing against your cheek, he smiles triumphantly, his eyes taunting the other male.

"Smile." He whispers to you, his eyes still fixated on the other man.

"Show him what he's missing. Show him how wrong he was to leave you."

Then slowly, he moves his face away from yours, and tugs your chin up using his index finger.

"How?" Your voice cracks as you try your best not to cry.

"He has already moved on Chanyeol, can't you see?" A tear fell on your cheek, and Chanyeol was fast to wipe it away.

"Please smile for me, love. Just this once." He pleads.

You take in deep soothing breaths and do your best to stay calm. You don't want to smile anymore, not when you feel like your world is crumbling down. Yet despite all of these, you can't show him how weak you are. You take a look at your best friend, the side of your face now in plain view of the other male's eyes, and you did your best to smile.

Chanyeol was more than glad to see a smile adorning your lips once again, after what seems like forever. Even though he knows that it wasn't a genuine one, at least through this, he can show you that you can stand up for yourself, that you can show the man who had hurt you that you don't need him to be happy. Slowly, he lungs towards you, and crushes you in his embrace.

Little did you know that he was watching with a fiery lace in his eyes.

"That was good, love. You did so well." He whispers and you bury your face on his chest.

With all that's happening, Sehun felt like he was knocked out of breath. He felt as if someone had dumped cold water on him, and he felt a force so strong, that he literally was glued to his seat.

"You're crazy," You say weakly. "You know he's here, don't you?"

"Who's where?" Chanyeol grins, then he kisses the top of your head. "Come, let's get you home."

Wearily, you pull yourself away from the embrace, and you let him take you away from this place, away from him.

Sehun, on the other hand, can only watch as you walk outside the shop. His fist is clenched into a ball, and his head is fuming from so much anger. He wants to run to you, to pry Chanyeol's hands away from yours, but he keeps still. He knows he can no longer do that, for he gave up his right to call you his own, the moment he walked out of your life.

"What's wrong?" The woman beside him asks, her face filled with curiosity.

"Nothing." Sehun says in a weary tone as his eyes stare at your leaving figure.

"Let's just get this over and done with.