K!SS M3

TAY'S POV:

Lee's the sweetest person alive, I swear to god he's an angel, a blessing to the world. It hurts me that he doubts himself and thinks he hurt everyone. He might've hurt them but clearly not enough to make them go away. Why else are we all still here for him? The worst part is that he thinks he hurt me. Never have, never will. He needs to believe in himself and have some fun. It really breaks my heart that he thinks the worst of himself.

"Keep your head up love, keep your head up love. Don't hide away, don't ever change. Cos everybody is looking at you now, oh my oh my I guess some kings don't need a crown. Now I know why, even when your tears are falling down, you're still somehow perfect now."

Funny how a song has everything I want to say to him.

"Every insecurity is like a neon sign, bright as day, if you knew what you were to me, you would never try to hide away. ( Louis Tomlinson- Perfect Now)"

Dixie has no idea how addicting her smile and eyes are. Most of the time I find myself holding a breath around her. I'm falling in too deep aren't I? She loves James and he loves her, get it through your head, Tay. This whole thing is new to me and I can't control myself. Love is like a drug, we get high on it and we crave it. Love makes us feel good, either loving someone or being loved. Just like drugs, love comes in many forms : family, friends, pets, fans, books and games. They're like a taste of heaven. Lee and Dixie are my love drugs.

For some genius reason I thought it'd be a good idea to give Dixie a not saying KISS ME and she started freaking out so I said "I DIDN'T MEAN IT!" then proceeded to say "Well, maybe I meant it.." WHY AM I SO FUCKING STUPID??!!! Right after that she says "I feel like you're gonna try something today" How does she know me so well?? I was gonna kiss her on Friday but I guess not anymore. If she doesn't believe it by now I don't know what else to do. She's noticed that I've been acting shyer around her, keep my head down, stare at her and keep moving closer to her. Every time we brush hands I keep my hand there longer than needed just to savor it. Kind of creepy now though isn't it?

DIXIE'S POV

Everyday is like war with my heart. Tay or James? Tay or James? I honestly love both but I have to choose. Things with Tay haven't got any better, ever since this week its the same deal over and over again. She gets all shy when we're close or alone. Something is up, she keeps writting notes that say KISS ME then when I ask, she denies. This girl is just something else.

Hass was hell as usual and I couldn't stop looking at her. The way she bites her lips when she's nervous or thinking. James once caught me a little too close to her so he yanked me away and that look on her face, the look in her eyes, a mix of confusion and hurt was clearly visible. "Why do you always do this?!" I screamed at him. This isn't fair, she's my friend, I can't leave her like that. James is a very nice person but lately he's been a dick. Jealous at everyone that I talk to. Sometimes I imagine life without someone so toxic in my life. "You're all mine Dix, don't you see the way she looks at you? She's a bad influence on you." he replied calmly. Was he really being homophobic then?

"I thought you supported her" I snapped back. "Just you, no one else" he replied while tucking my hair behind my ear. That was the last straw. I cannot be with someone who's like this. I told him we need a break and even though I'm happier now, I miss him so much. I never realised how attached I was. Tay's making it better it though.

I purposely made sure I was extra close to her, just to see her reactions. First I stood close to her and she was kinda leaning back into me. Second, I made sure to touch her hands to see what she does and I am not disappointed, her warm touch lingers on my fingertips reminding me of that time. Rest of today went by with her on my mind, rent free.

Kiss me Dixie

I will Tay