Chapter Twelve: “The room”

It's been days since the last time I left my room. I was so busy writing that I didn't feel how much time had passed. I keep sometimes looking from that small window; the tree is still there, but the leaves are few now. It starts to fall down; people are walking and stomping on the papers on the ground, crushing them. No matter how beautiful it was, it was still crushed by people since it felt down. I closed the window, feeling sorry for them. I just keep looking around in my small room. Is it really that small? Or is it just my mind? I closed my eyes, and I fell deep into my thoughts and feelings. It's an endless world, a free space with no control, something deep that is scary and beautiful at the same time. It's really confusing how our minds can escape from this small room to another space.

I have been here my whole life, and he is here with me too in that small room. He is here now; I still don't know what he wants, but he grows with me, so I'm used to him now. He talks to me sometimes, and he fills my lonely moments too. Is this a monster or a friend? From where did he come? Is he as lonely as I am?

All that I know is that he is just still growing with me here in this room. At that moment, he whispered in my ears, saying some words. At that moment, I didn't realize that my hand took the pen and wrote something on the paper, something that I will never read because I simply don't know what I'm writing and I don't want to know.

He said:

"Take my hand to nowhere."

I just want to feel your breath.

Is that hard to ask for?

Let's open the door together.

Let's take the risk of dying for

Don't be scared; don't be fooled.

It's easy to live in peace.

But does that fit our dream?

It all depends on your life.

There is a monster inside us.

It's a matter of time before we wake up.

I'm not dangerous; I'm a keeper.

We have no courage to live.

And no reason to feel

Push me to infinite

My mind is already there.

How can it be possible?

To get out of the bottom

The world is getting worse.

Everyone wants the force.

How can we live here again?

Hearts are too dead."