A MESS

SAM

I see Lienna's eyes widening too and tears fill her eyes but she tries to keep them in and smiles at Conor. "Oh...i-isn't it S-sam Ch-ristian?"

"Yes, it is, he is my best friend. And this is Mia, his girlfriend."

"Girl...g-girlfriend?" Her voice breaks me. It's so fragile and it's filled with hurt and when she looks at me with her teary eyes, I see the one thing I wish I would never do; betrayal, I close my eyes to keep my tears in, and when I open them again to look at her, she quickly looks away and bites her lips to not cry. Smiling again, she hides her pain and says with a cheerful voice.

"H-hi. Nice to meet you b-both."

I can't hear anymore. It is her...it IS Lienna. But how.... how is it even...

I stumble back as I feel my legs giving up.

"Sam! Hey, you, ok?" Conor says as he grabs my hand and pulls me back to stand straight. I gulp a huge lump in my throat. I can't....I... what is.... happening? I look at Mia and she is just as shocked. Her eyes are open wide, and her face says it all. She can't believe it either.

"L-Lienna?" She looks at me and smiles to hide her emotions but her glistening eyes can't hide anything. She can't hide her feelings, not from me.

"Y-yes?"

"No...I-I....I am sorry. I will be b-back in a minute."

"Sam, is everything OK? What--"

"No, I...give me a minute Conor." He nods as I quickly excuse myself and go to the restroom. Gladly, it's empty as I let my tears out and in frustration start punching the sink and then the wall and just whatever I can see. I bang my fists hard on the cold wall as I can feel the pain but it's nothing compared to what I am feeling inside. No....no...no...

"NO FUCK NO!" More tears come out of my eyes, and I lose it. Rashly I bang my fists on the wall as a hole appears there, but I still don't stop. Suddenly, I feel someone back hugging me.

"Calm down, please. Please for God's sake, Sam, don't hurt yourself." I free myself from her arms and turn to her. I shake my head and despite my attempts to not cry, I do.

"Why....why did you fucking LIE TO ME?!"

"N-no I d-didn't. I swear Sam, I am just as shocked. I didn't know. I don't know how she is here.... trust me please." I grip her arms tightly.

"Trust...? I did! I FUCKING DID MIA! a-and now.... how..." I hear a sob but it's neither from Mia nor from me. I widen my eyes when I see Lienna standing just outside the restroom door looking at me and Mia while tears escape her eyes like a waterfall. I release Mia and move closer to her but she shakes her head and holds up a hand.

"N-no...s-stay away from m-me." Another sob escapes from her lips.

"Lienna... please....I... this is all...-"

"Ho-w could y-you both....? How? WHY?! NONE OF YOU WERE THERE WHEN I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL BED LYING IN A COMA FOR 2 YEARS! And even after I woke up a year ago, I waited and waited and waited for you to come. I waited for you Mia, and as much as I hate to a-admit it, I waited for you more Sammy---Sam."

A whimper escapes my lips hearing her call me that. This is all so fucking messed up and right now what's hurting me the most is seeing Lienna break down like this.

"I---I thought...you will come one day, someday. I thought maybe something happened to you or just maybe you were busy, but none of you came and I died there. My heart died there. All my hopes died. A-and now? Here you are! IN A FUCKING RELATIONSHIP! HOW COULD YOU MIA? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS KNOWING EVERYTHING!! AND YOU SAM? I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU ONLY LOVED ME! NO DISTANCE WILL EVER MAKE YOUR LOVE LESS FOR ME! THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!" She yells and her painful cry and sobs make my tears fall and my heart hurt like never before. She falls to the ground on her knees and her shoulders start shaking, she is shaking. I don't waste a single minute and run to her as I engulf her in my arms. She starts crying harder and keeps her head on my chest.

"W-why.....w-why did yo-u..." She hiccups as I close my eyes trying to keep the tears in. I can't bear the pain of seeing her like this, she is totally broken.

"I-I know...I s-said to you that I will not wait for you but y-you should have known Sam!! You should have known how much I loved you!! I was waiting for you...I was."

Her sobs make me pat her back and kiss her temple to calm her down.

"I-I know I am also with Conor but do y-you know why? Because he was the one who saved me from the fire and h-he took care of me for 3 whole years! You were supposed to be there and not him Sam! He saved me though I wanted you to save me! He was there for me though I wanted y-you!! Where were you, Sam? Where was your love?"

"Lien trust me...this is all so fucking messed u-up right now. It's not what it looks like...trust me, I never stopped loving you once. I never forgot you."

"Are you n-not together with Mia? With my best friend?"

"I--"

"He is." I snap my head in the direction of Mia. She is crying too. Lienna doesn't even look at Mia. She keeps her face hidden in my chest and fists my shirt from my chest to control her from breaking down...or maybe her anger.

"He is because....b-because we thought..."

"Don't. Don't speak, please." Lienna says with agony. She separates herself from me and I feel like crying again seeing her pained face. She sniffs and wipes her tears with her hands.

"Conor is waiting for me. Pretend we have never met before. And don't try to contact me. I won't be there for both of you anymore. And Sam, please don't do this again."

Her soft hands caress my bloody ones as I feel the pain-numbing just from her touch.

"I won't be here to treat you. So don't hurt me this way, please."

She says as she gets back on her feet, sets herself, and leaves. No, I can't let her go again. I am about to go after her when I hear Mia.

"Not right now, Sam. We all need time to digest all this. Don't be rash. She needs time too and so do we, especially you." I breathe deeply and go over to the sink as I wash my face. I look at Mia and I feel pain seeing her like this. Her face is messed up with tears and she is looking at me with a guilty, regretful, and hoping gaze. I smile mockingly at her.

"You ruined four lives, Mia. I hope you are happy."

"N-no...Sam I swear I didn't know....Believe me." I don't pay any heed to her and leave. It hurts me to do this to her but right now I can't think anything straight. I am messed up, everything is!

.....