Chapter 4

MCKINLEY P.O.V

I stumbled out of the bar and onto the street. Luke was right behind me as I leaned against the wall and covered my face with my hands. That shouldn't have happened and I think we both knew it.

"Kin." He called after me as I walked down the street. My eyes were blurry and I turned to look at him. He looked beautiful.

"I can't do this, Luke." I said as he got closer to me as to not make a scene on the sidewalk. "You hurt me."

"I never meant to hurt you." He commented which I knew was true because we were in love. I loved him and he loved me. "The hardest thing I've ever done was leave you."

"You made it look easy."

"What does that mean?" He asked looking around seeing if anyone was watches us.

"When you yelled at me that you didn't love me. And when you threw me out of the apartment. Those things hurt me, Luke."

"I'm sorry." I couldn't help the tears that rolled down my cheeks and as I tried to wipe them away he stopped me. I didn't want him to see me cry. I didn't want him to know how much he hurt me. I wanted him to suffer just as much as I did. "I was hurting too. You're the love of my life and I had to leave you. I love you. I still do." He whispered his eyes filling with tears. "You know that right?"

"Of course I do." I softly said reaching up to touch his face. I let my hand fall from his face and grab his hand as we walked back to our apartment building together. He was silent the entire walk but I could feel his eyes on me. "I love you too you know." I commented just before we got the building.

"I know." He commented, his voice soft and hoarse.

"I wanted to marry you."

"And I promise you that someday we will get married." He said. I could tell that he had more to say so I stayed silent as I typed in the pin to get into the building. We took the elevator to my apartment. I let him lay on the couch while I made us some coffee. "You understand why we can't be in a relationship right now right?" He asked sitting up as I handed him a mug.

"Yeah." I smiled a little. "I'm not stopping you from enjoying your life right now." I sat on the couch looking at him. "This is the time in our lives where we can have fun. I want you to have fun."

"Were we too serious? Our relationship I mean." He asked. I thought about it for a few minutes.

"I think so. I mean we only dated for a year before we moved in together. That's pretty serious." I shrugged. "Maybe we weren't ready for that." I knew I wasn't ready for it but I let it happen anyway.

I knew that I wasn't ready for the serious relationship that Luke and I had. I knew it but I loved him anyway and I so badly wanted it to work out even though I knew that someone something was going to happen to us.

"I was ready." He commented as I grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around myself. "I knew I wanted to be with you."

"It wasn't that I didn't want to be with you. It was that it was so serious. We moved in together." I answered him. He was silent for a few minutes.

"But if we still lived in New York we would still be together. I know for a fact that we would be." He said making me smile because if we were still living in New York, we would be together, in his apartment, with our animals. We would be happy. "You said that if I wasn't happy that I should come back to you."

"I did say that." I commented but he never responded. I wanted to ask him if he was happy but I was afraid that he was going to say no and I knew that would break me. I wonder if he was ever going to come back to me.

*LUKE P.O.V*

McKinley closed her eyes and never opened then again. I watched her as she slept. She still snored a little and still made small noises in her sleep. She was beautiful. Her hair was up in a loose pony tail and she still had her makeup on.

I walked to her bathroom in search of makeup wipes. She would be upset in the morning if she woke up and she was still wearing makeup. Once I found the wipes I went back to her and wiped it off gently to not wake her. She seemed exhausted.

Once her makeup was mostly off, I laid on the other end of the couch with a blanket. I couldn't believe that I was in her house, sleeping on her couch and she was right over there. I could lean over and touch her.

I missed her.

The next morning I woke up and groaned. For a few seconds I forgot where I was until McKinley set a cup of coffee down on the coffee table.

"Good morning." She smiled as I sat up. "How'd you sleep?" She questioned just like she always did when we were together.

"Good." I smiled. "Thanks." I picked up the coffee cup as she sat next to me with her own cup.

"Ashton, Calum and Michael are coming over with breakfast." She smiled.

"Coming to interrupt us." I joked. "You know they think we had sex right?" I asked and she shrugged.

"Let them." She commented. "You can shower before they come if you want." She commented and that's when I noticed that her hair was wet and she had a light layer of makeup on.

"I'm alright. Unless you think I smell?" I quickly added standing up to stretch.

"I mean... " She trailed off smiling. She was my favorite person.

"Where is it?"

"Second bedroom on the right. I set out towels for you on the bed."

"Thanks." I walked away down to the room she said. It was of decent size, the same size as mine at least. It had windows from floor to ceiling and a fireplace. The bed was smack dab in the middle of the room with a big gray headboard. A huge white mirror hung on the wall across from the bed. McKinley used to have it in her room.

I showered and got dressed before heading back out to the living room where Michael was sitting drinking orange juice.

"Good morning, Lovebirds." He smirked. I glared at him before walking into the kitchen where McKinley and Ashton were making food. Calum was sitting at the island mixing pancake batter.

"Hey, Luke."

"Morning." I went into the fridge to get myself a drink and then felt like an asshole because this wasn't my home. I shouldn't have done that. "Sorry, McKinley. Habit." She turned and smiled at me.

"Don't worry. I don't mind." She reached up to a cabinet and pulled out a cup for me. "There's coffee over there if you want another." She smiled.

"I'm good with juice thanks." I thought that after I kissed her that we were going to be awkward but it wasn't. I liked being here. I liked being here with her. I loved her.

I went to the living room to sit with Michael who seemed very pleased with the situation at hand.

"What?" I asked.

"Did you fuck?"

"No." I answered.

"Really? You both look pretty refreshed." He commented looking from me to her. I sighed looking at him.

"I haven't slept properly in six months. Last night was the best night sleep I've gotten in a while ever if I was on her couch."

"You should just get back together." He commented rolling his eyes. It wasn't as simple as they were all making it. No matter what I still hurt her. I hurt her in a way that people shouldn't hurt each other and whether I meant to or not meant nothing. She needed that time to heal and I was going to give it to her.

"It's not that simple. I wish you guys would understand that." I commented as they called us to join them. I sat across from her at the island and watched as she loaded her plate with 3 chocolate chip pancakes and four piece of bacon.

She looked up and caught my eye.

"I don't care about your opinion."

"I didn't say anything." I chuckled as Ashton handed me the eggs. I took some eggs and a few pieces of bacon. This felt natural. It felt nice.

*MCKINLEY P.O.V*

The guys hung around for a few hours before they headed home. Luke stayed for a little longer and I didn't mind but he was pacing while I was trying to watch Supernatural.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked sitting up and crossing my legs. He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. I wasn't sure why he was so stressed. "Hey, relax. It's me. You can tell me anything." I commented.

"We're on the same page right?" He questioned.

"Which page would that be?"

"The page that we're waiting to get back together until we're both in a good spot." He said and I nodded.

"Yes. Don't let what your friends say freak you out. I'm on the same page. I'm willing to wait." He sighed a sigh of relief before plopping down next to me. I ran my hands through his hair trying to calm him. "Please don't worry about this." I smiled looking down at him.

"I won't. But I do have to go." He ran his thumb over my cheek. "Maybe I'll take you to a party sometime. Have you meet some people."

"I would love that." It had been a while since I went to a party.

"A buddy of mine is having a party tomorrow, I'll pick you up at nine." He smirked before standing and going over to the door. "Dress slutty." He commented before leaving. I sighed going to my closet. I threw away a lot of clothes on the move out here because I knew that I would never wear them.

I quickly got my shoes on and grabbed my purse heading out the door to find a dress shop.

I felt like I was shopping for hours and trying on dresses. The pudge of my stomach made nothing look good and finally a women handed me shape wear. I put it on and the pudge went away and made me feel a lot more comfortable in a dress that I knew Luke would love. I knew he didn't want to get back together and I told him that we were on the same page, but we weren't.

I was still 100% in love with him and I was going to try everything I could, to get back together with him.

The next day I did some work from home before making dinner then got in the shower to start getting ready for the party. I wore a red dress with black heels.

Luke came right at the time he said he would be here

Luke came right at the time he said he would be here. He wore a red button down shirt with nearly all of the buttons undone and black skinny jeans paired with a pair of boots.

"You look amazing." He smiled.

"Thanks. You too." I stepped out of the apartment and locked the door before we headed down the stairs and down to the Audi that was parked in a spot. "This is yours?" I asked. It was black and sleek and it looked amazing. I want one.

"No." He laughed. "A friend let me borrow it to impress you."

"Oh." I giggled covering my mouth. It was an amazing car. He drove to a mansion and I was shocked as I stepped out of the car. "Who's house is this?" I questioned.

"Pete Wentz." He answered as he lead me up to the house.

"What? The Pete Wentz?" I questioned making him laugh.

"Yes. Behave." He commented as he opened the front door and stood to the side so I could step in before him. We headed to the kitchen where he handed me a beer before introducing me to a few people. Ashton waved us over and I rushed over to him and there beside him was Pete Wentz himself.

"Have you met Pete?" Ashton asked me.

"When would I have met him Ash?" I questioned making Pete chuckle. "I'm McKinley." I commented and his face dropped. I looked over at Luke tucking my hair behind my ear and looking down.

"The McKinley that-" Ashton dragged him away before he could say anymore.

"I have a reputation huh?" I looked at him. "How many more famous people are going to have that same reaction?" I questioned.

"Just him. He found a picture of you."

"You still have pictures of me?"

"Of course I do." He confirmed making me smile. He was the cutest person alive. "Wanna get out of here and got to in-n-out?" He questioned. I nodded laughing as he grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the party. I followed behind him and I so badly wanted to stop him and jump into his arms and tell him that I loved him but he wasn't ready for that.

I wasn't going to push it to the point where he was uncomfortable. We both had things that we needed to work through and I was willing to let him work through his things before we got back together. I couldn't screw that up now.