Chapter 15

MCKINLEY P.O.V

Ashton had been an amazing friend recently and I really appreciated him. I had been working from home but my place was a mess. So he came over everyday to make help me clean and to make sure I was eating.

It was rough. I wanted to believe everyone when they said that they weren't going to get married and that something would probably go wrong. But it didn't seem that way for Michael. He was happily married and trying for a baby.

"He promised me." I whispered to Ashton at dinner. "He promised we would get married."

"I know he did." Ashton commented. We were cuddled on the couch. He was practically living here. He had an entire rack of clothes hung up in my closet. He has slept over every single night since I found out the news.

The tears never seemed to run out.

"He told me he wasn't happy." I whispered. And I was stupid enough to believe him. "It's so stupid that I'm hung up on him but I can't help it."

"You love him." It wasn't a question. Even if it was, he already knew the answer. "Did you ever stop?"

"Not really. I mean when he was gone and I didn't see him it was sort of like out of sight out of mind? Sometimes. It was worse at night because I had no one to talk to. Now it's just like an ache. I've never felt like this in entire life." I sighed. "Will it ever stop?" My questioned went unanswered.

"I guess that's why they say falling into love."

"Because you fall, and hit the ground. Because no one catches you."

"That's cheesy."

"And true." We sat in silence. "I'm so hungry." I broke the silence.

"Want me to order something?"

"Sure. I could really go for a chicken caesar salad." I commented. "And 40 shots of vodka."

"No. We're not drinking." He said making me groan as he pulled out of his phone. "Do you remember what happened last time?" The night after I found out that Luke was getting married, I got trashed and needed to be rushed to the hospital to have my stomach pumped. Ashton stayed with me the entire time but he wasn't happy with me at all.

"It won't be like last time." I promised him. Ashton deserved more than that and we both knew it. I didn't want to put Ashton through anything else. He had already been an amazing friend. I couldn't thank him enough. "You should have some sympathy sex with me."

"This is for sure not happening." He said without missing a beat. "You're just hurting right now. You don't really want to have sex with me."

"Well if Luke can move on, why can't I?"

"Bro code. I'm not fucking his ex girl." Ashton commented silencing me so he could call in our food. I stayed quiet as he finished the order and grabbed his keys. "Do you want to come with me or are you gonna stay here?"

"I'll come." I commented standing up and putting a pair of vans on. I walked out after him and locked the door. We both headed downstairs and out into the street. "We could probably just eat there." I commented.

"If you want."

"I don't see the point in carrying it back." I commented putting my arm through his as we walked. We walked in silence before getting to the little pizza shop that Ashton loved. I went to sit at a table while he went to pay and get our food. "So, any women in your life?"

"Just you." He confirmed as he poured dressing over his salad and shook it up.

"I'm by the far the prettiest." I joked.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." He smiled at me. "Calum would like to come over for a movie night."

"Sounds good to me."

"He just got Disney Plus so he's freaking out."

"He's adorable." Once we finished eating we headed back to the apartment. Ashton texted Calum that we were back. I laid on the couch while he hooked up the Disney Plus on the t.v.

"What do you want to watch?" Calum asked sitting next to me by my head and throwing his arm across me.

"Whatever." I answered. "I don't really care." I took the blanket off the end of the couch and wrapped myself in it. Ashton sat down by my feet.

"Star Wars it is." Calum smiled putting on the movie. I had never seen any of the Star Wars so I had no idea what was going on. I wanted to ask questions but I knew that always got them mad so I held off. Somewhere in the middle of the movie I got up to get myself a bowl of ice cream. They both watched me closely as I walked to the kitchen.

"You okay?" Ashton asked.

"Just getting ice cream." I answered. Then I looked at Calum. "Wanna know something?"

"Sure."

"Ashton won't fuck me." His eyes widened at my words. "He won't even give me a little bit of sex just to make me feel better."

"I don't think it would make you feel better. I think you would regret not only doing that to yourself, but to Luke."

"I don't give a fuck about Luke."

"That's a lie and you know it." Ashton fought. "You love him."

"But he doesn't love me!" I shouted. "He didn't love me enough to stay." I slammed the bowl on the coffee table. Ashton took a deep breath before standing up and holding me. He held my head to his chest while I cried.

"I can't do it. I'm sorry." I wrapped my arms around him. He slowly sat back down on the couch with me in his lap. I have no idea how I would get through this if it wasn't for Ashton.

*LUKE P.O.V*

Wedding plans were in full swing. Kristen was like a tornado running around making calls. We had picked a date for next year. Now it was a big rush to get everything planned. I let her make most of the plans.

The apartment had been quiet lately. Michael was off being married and I had no clue where Ashton had been. He hasn't been home in weeks. Calum was rarely here but he slept here every night so at least I knew he was alive.

"Where's Ashton?" I asked him one day when I finally convinced Kristen to let me take a break from wedding plans.

"He's been staying with McKinley."

"Why?" I'm sure the confusion was written all over my face. "Is he sleeping with her?" Calum rolled his eyes.

"If they were, would you be mad?" I sat back in my chair and thought about it.

"Are they sleeping together?"

"No." He confirmed. "Ashton wouldn't hurt you like that. Since you love McKinley." He added. "Don't you think you're making a huge mistake marrying Kristen?" I ran my hands through my hair. I had no idea what I was doing anymore. I had no idea just how much pain this could cause McKinley.

"I don't know." I answered. "I'm so confused."

"Well I'm not. It's a mistake. You don't love her. Not the way you love McKinley. Don't do this Luke." I sighed.

"I don't want to hurt either of them."

"McKinley has already been hurt, Luke. She's a shell of a person. She isn't the same without you." He said taking a sip of his beer. I stood without saying anything to him. "Where are you going?"

"To McKinley." I answered walking out. I walked as fast as I could down the sidewalk. He met up with me five minutes later.

"It's too late, Luke. You've done enough damage to her."

"I can try to change it." He sighed while trying to keep up with me. "I have to try."

"What if it's not enough?" He asked. "What if she can't forgive you?" He asked as I plugged in the number to the building before the door buzzed and I pulled the door open.

I quickly pressed the button for the elevator and hit her floor. I was nearly bouncing as we rode up to her floor.

"I'm not sticking around to watch this." Calum commented hitting the button to our floor. I stepped out and didn't bother watching the doors close behind me before knocking on McKinley's door.

"What do you want?"

"Where is she?" Ashton was blocking my entry to her apartment.

"I finally got her calmed down. She's taking a bath. What do you want?" He asked again.

"I want to talk to her."

"You've done enough."

"Who is it?" She asked from behind him. Her voice was soft. Almost like velvet. Ashton turned to look at her but as he stepped back he opened the door so I could see her. She was clutching a towel and her eyes widened. "Wow." She nodded looking at Ashton. "That's super."

"I just want to talk." I said tucking my hands into my pockets. "I think I have some explaining to do."

"You explained yourself enough by proposing to someone else." She said. I could see the hurt in her eyes.

"What do you want from me?" I asked getting angry.

"You know exactly what I want."

"What do you want?" I asked again.

"You!" She shouted.

"You can't have me." She glanced at Ashton before looking back at me.

"Why are you here?" She shook her head as tears filled her eyes. "Was it just to hammer that one last nail in my coffin, Luke? To take that final piece of my heart that wasn't broken?"

"I made a mistake."

"Yeah. I did too. Loving you was the biggest mistake I ever made." As I stepped towards her, she turned and went into her bedroom. My heart was beating fast and my breathing was uneven.

"That wasn't the mistake I made." I commented to no one in particular but Ashton heard it.

"Why are you such a dumbass?" Ashton asked. I wasn't sure if I was suppose to answer that. "She's amazing, Luke. She is everything you have ever wanted and you're letting her slip away." He shook his head. "She loves you." I wasn't sure how to respond to him.

"What do I do?"

"That's not for me decide." I needed some guidance. I knew I was going to fuck this up and if I wasn't careful I was going to hurt two people. I would ruin two people. But I didn't care if I ruined Kristen. I didn't care if I caused her any type of pain. I cared if I hurt McKinley. She deserved the world. She deserves to be happy and I never wanted to be the guy who hurt her.

"I have to get married." The look on Ashton's face confirmed that I was a dumbass.

"If that's what you think is best."

"You're not fucking helping."

"Stop acting like you don't love that woman in there! She's the greatest thing that ever happened to you and you're throwing her away for some slut you barely know!" He shouted throwing his hands in the air. "You're making a big fucking mistake." He was fuming.

"Are you fucking McKinley or something?" I asked.

"What?"

"Are you having sex with her?"

"No. Even if I was, it's none of your business who she has sex with. Since you ruined her relationship last time because of sex. You've hurt her so deeply and you don't even care."

"I will always care about her."

"Prove it."