My Life Sucks so far but oh

3days ago...

Huh, #tag, meet my life sucks by Lucifer all available on iTunes and Evilfy.hell...

Waitress: um sir what are you doing

Lucifer: we'll am trying to see if I could create a new #tag on TikTok and write a book about how miserable I am in life...

Waitress: we'll I don't think you're miserable, sir.(charmed by Lucifer's good looks)

Lucifer: we'll devil blossoms I'm sorry to say that you're only saying that about me because you're being mesmerized by my angelic beauty right now, another cool joke that almighty father in heaven decided to make me into.

Waitress: I really think you're so pretty and so, so 🔥Hot🔥...

Lucifer: urh, I'm sure you do sweetie and if you can stop giving me the fuck me eyes 👀,I want to have sex, right this very moment but I really need to figure out how am gonna live if I'm gonna be staying here for a while.

Waitress: oh, ok

Lucifer: yhh.

(Just then a raging lunatic with a gun storm's into the coffee shop and demand's money from everybody in the room or else)

Gun guy: or else you're all fucked🤬, yhh, that's right😡.

Lucifer: maybe I should just be a regular messed up mortal for once

Gun guy: hey you take off your panties👙and get on this table now you look Hot🔥

Lucinda: am sorry what!🤨

Lucifer: alright that's it.

Gun guy: hey you get back on the ground now!!

Lucifer: ohk look I was thinking of being regular just for today but never mind I can't sit here and watch you penetrate so slowly into this stupid Hot🔥poor deprived soul

Lucinda: excuse me🤨

Gun guy: but I haven't even gotten in yet

Lucinda: excuse me🤨

Lucifer: I know that but with that messed up hair cut, tarderd sad excuse you call pants that you have on, huhhh, you don't even own a good face care specialist do you?

Lucinda: 🤨🤨🤨

Gun guy: (talk's sadly) look men I try to keep it together and...and I...I

Lucifer: you poor thing

Gun guy: am not a poor thing am just really poor

Lucifer: oh and that too

Gun guy: my brother Ulicis has a micro penis disorder and...

Lucifer: that must have followed you till puberty didn't it mate

Gun guy: what no...

Lucifer: or maybe your the one with the baby carrot , it's alright we accept your pre-miniscue manhood

Gun guy: what no no...

Lucifer: come on you can show us your pretty tiny little baby carrot

Gun guy: what no I...

Lucifer: tell me guy or since the narrator has dubbed you gun guy...

Gun guy: what why gun guy, why not something cool like Daredevil or joker...

Lucifer: because that's what the lazy narrator decided to name as

Narrator: hey😡

Lucifer: now tell me gun guy...

✨what do you want for a soul?✨

(Lucifer enchants him)

Gun guy: I...I want people to know that am well put together.

Lucifer: ok then ✨look into my eyes and trade a sou...

Lucinda: Hiiiyaa!!! man you do not, shut up.

Lucifer: did you just karate chop him

Lucinda: yhh and while your at it I also called the cops too

(The  cops👮‍♀️ arrest's gun guy while...

Gun guy: my name is Marcus...

Narrator: yhh what ever, anyways, everyone else praises Lucifer for stalling the guy long enough for the cops👮‍♀️ to get there and completely forgets what Lucinda did as well)

Lucinda: why is everyone praising you for this...

Lucifer: I don't know maybe it's because of my charming good look's which should sweep you off your feet any moment now...

Lucinda:🤨...

Lucifer: any moment now...

2Minutes later⏰...

Lucifer: am sorry why aren't you falling for me...

Lucinda: oh geese I don't know, maybe it's because am human and you're not really my type.

Lucifer: what!!, that's impossible am everybody's type

Lucinda: am sure you are.

Lucifer: what!! how old are you anyway

Lucinda: way out of your league

Lucifer: wow that's the first

Lucinda: now if you would excuse me I have some where else to be

Lucifer: 🤩wow, would you look at that messed up Life of mine, I think I just found my calling to Hell-paradise...

(And just like that the devil found his calling and meaning to his life, if he can am sure you can as well reader😜)