CHAPTER SIX

There is this misconception that every women's dream is to get married and although for some it may be true, it certainly is not my dream. I did not grow up playing "house" or creating dream boards of what my future wedding would look like. This might have something to do with the fact that l did not have anyone to play with or the screwed up representations of love l was surrounded by. Growing up and seeing your mother and aunts cry themselves to sleep on most nights because of infidelity or the blue yet slightly purple marks on your aunts body, from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet because your uncle was not happy with the way the chicken was seasoned, the constant break ups your cousins subjected themselves to or the multiple breaks your parents had because they needed time apart to work on their issues.

I hardly watched movies because of the patriarchal ideas they portrayed especially the high levels of misogynistic ideology. I hate how fairy tales all contain the concept "knight in shining armour" or "prince charming", further solidifying in young impressionable minds the idea that a women always needs a man to bail her out of each and every situation she may find herself in because women cannot do it on their own. Because of this, we have so many cases of Gender Based Violence, Rape, Human Trafficking commonly done to women because men simply believe they are superior to women.

So you can only imagine how distraught l feel in this very moment because once again, as a women from a marginalized race l have allowed my right to freedom of choice be taken from me. I am allowing myself to be a stereotype, a puppet being used for the Keys' personal gain. On one hand, having the Keys keep their wealth will mostly certainly have a great impact on Akai's future, my baby will have the privilege to attend the best schools and if she is willing the best universities. My parents will get to keep their name sake, their business will continue to operate and thousands of jobs will be saved. But all of this at my expense.

After everything went down at the Keys estate, l felt as though l was being suffocated and knowing Akai was in good hands, l made my way to the local park not far from the Keys estate. Sitting alone on a bench away from all the playing children and their parents, the weight on my shoulders seemed to grow heavier. As if sensing my despair, the sky suddenly became gloomy as the wind picked up speed causing a mini tornado. All the parents grabbed their children, making their way to their cars and going home while I remained seated on the bench with no desire to leave, not knowing where l would go if l did leave.

Droplets of water falling from the sky started pooling up on the empty part of the bench next to me. The more l stared at them the more l could see my reflection, only to find tears cascading down my cheeks and l could feel the slight ache of my heart. l always prided myself in being what most called 'emotionless' so the sight of tears on my face made me feel all the more vulnerable.

My plan was to sit on the bench until l felt better but the Keys wouldn't even allow me this for myself because as soon as the rain picked up, they began to blow up my phone commanding me to return to their residence. To a certain extent l am happy that Keira is no more because had she been alive, her parents would be forcing this marriage on her and she was too pure to deserve a fate as this. Knowing how much she loved her parents and although she did not agree with most of their actions, l know she would have wanted to help. She was always good to me, helping me in any and every way she could, l feel as though l owe it to her to sacrifice myself by helping her parents out.

Making it back to the estate, l gave myself a pep talk, 'you get in there with the biggest smile on your face, do not show them how affected you are about this whole ordeal because they will never respect you.' The house was eerily silent not giving any indication of anyone's presence. The further l walked into the house, l could not help but think that something bad had happened. The kitchen was deserted even though this was the usual time the kitchen staff started preparing dinner. What was unsettling is the fact that they requested my presence yet are nowhere to be found. Rubbing my sweaty palms on my shivering arms, l reached for a glass to pour water in, only to drop it on the granite tiled floor because Mrs Keys came screeching in.

"why aren't you dressed yet, you know the Stones are coming over for dinner to discuss the contract and start with the wedding preparations"

" wedding preparations?" asking for clarity, hoping l hadn't heard her right

"yes, we want the wedding to happen as soon as possible. Now get to the guest room, Rosa is waiting to make you pretty" she said condescendingly

One would think that sacrificing my life to save their business would result in them treating me like a human being, an equal but l guess pigs will have to fly before l get treated with respect by the Keys. The guest room that was allocated to me was on the far east side of the house making it seem as though they were hiding me. Rosa was impatiently waiting for me. I always knew that Mrs Keys was the reason for the animosity and disrespect her employees showed towards me. I wondered how the whole 'Rosa making me pretty' situation will work out because the woman refused to acknowledge my presence let alone touch me.

She ushered me into the bathroom to take a well deserved shower because l was still shivering from my natural bath thanks to the rain and my clothes were stuck to me like second skin. Because time was not on my side, l took a ten minute shower and the moment l stepped out of the bathroom, my buttocks were planted on a chair in front of the vanity. Different products of names l do not know were put on my face, some eliciting a burning reaction from my skin. What drew my attention to the time spent on my face was the pain l felt on my back. But the pain didn't last long because in a matter of seconds, Rosa stepped away from the vanity allowing me to see her masterpiece. Taking a deep breath, l willed myself to see what l looked like and to say l was shocked was an understatement.