CHAPTER 2

In therapy-speak one would say that I needed this time to "heal", but in guy speak, I needed this time to masturbate and feel sorry for myself. I started dating again after that… but (a) every single date I had after that year was a disaster (and I had this nagging feeling that the reason was me) and (b) Covid happened. Another two years wasted, more video games, more movies, and box sets of series I didn't even like but I had run out of other stuff to watch.

And I hate to admit this, but then… something strange and unsettling happened. My libido went down. Like really down. I didn't feel like dating. I didn't get hard when I saw a beautiful woman. It got hard when I watched porn, but even that went from at least once a day to maybe once a week just to relieve some pressure. I didn't even care what kind of porn it was, I only made sure that the girl looked nothing like Jenn. And for the last few months, even this had dwindled down. I can still hold an erection. But getting one takes a long time. I can still cum. But what used to be a decent-sized gob of cream is now more like a few drops. I went to see a doctor. Everything is ok. Great, so it's all in my head. Just great.

I had taken the afternoon off to clean the place. I wasn't really sure why, it certainly wasn't dirty or untidy. But this was in fact the first time in… fuck… 5 years I had a guest. Apart from my mom who visits twice a year.

I made sure the fridge was stocked with all kinds of easy-to-make meals. My cooking skills are, let's say: limited and I had grown used to living off takeout, sushi, Mac'n'Cheese, and pizza. Healthy diet, I know. Well sushi is healthy, isn't it?

Cynthia had said that she would drop Cat off around 5. I still wasn't sure what "drop off" meant. Cat says Hi, we do a formal handover and then she goes back downstairs to her room, and I check every half hour that she's still there and that there are no guests? Or would she stay and I had to come up with something I can do with a… a… I still didn't know how old she was. Asking felt like a real douchebag move. I remembered that Cynthia had sometimes mentioned something about Cat's school but I couldn't remember if she had ever mentioned a grade or which kind of school (high school probably?) or anything. Just another sign of what kind of loner I had become. Here's pretty much the only person who comes even close to being a "friend" and I know nothing about her daughter, not even how old she is.

Should I put music on? If so, what kind would make me look cool and relaxed? Another thing I hate to admit, but I was genuinely nervous. I couldn't even explain why exactly. Because this apartment was mine and mine alone and for the first time I would share it with somebody? Somebody I didn't know and who probably thought that I'm a boring old fart who prevents her from having whatever kind of fun she would like to have on weekends?

The doorbell rang just a few minutes after 5. I opened, Cynthia stood there, already in her navy blue catering service uniform - and a visibly annoyed Cat next to her. 4 '5'', black backpack, black hoodie, hood up over her head and all I could see was a bored face and half-open eyes.

"Thanks again Dan… I'm really sorry, gotta run, the gal who offered me a ride to the harbor is already waiting downstairs. Now, Kitty, be good, ok. If you are, extra WiFi time. If you aren't, extra dishwasher time. Are we clear?"

"Yes, Mom". Cat's voice sounded like that of a little girl, but there was something else. Just two words, but it sounded like a strange kind of grown-up poise.

"Hi Cat. I think we've never really met like for real… so… welcome. Come in". It was bad enough that this sounded lame. It was even worse that my voice croaked like that of a teenager hitting puberty. What was wrong with me? I need to get out more.

Cynthia hugged Cat, looked at me, gave me a small but heartfelt nod, and took off. Cat walked by me, dropped her backpack on the floor, and took her hood off. I could only see her back, but her hair looked… cute. A little more than shoulder length, tied up into a high ponytail. It wasn't curly, just straight and an even darker shade of black than her skin.

"Wow, this place is huge. Do you like living alone here?"

"Yes, I do. It was supposed to be a family home but…" Stop… too much information. She doesn't care.

"Nice. I've never seen a room this big. You should see our living room… no, wait, you know it because you rent it out to us". I don't know if she meant it like that, but it did feel like a one-two punch. And with this, she turned around.

Damn. She was pretty. Like really, really pretty. Same deep dark skin as her mom. High cheekbones, delicate lips, a tiny nose, and the biggest eyes I have ever seen outside of Comics or weird AI art on Twitter (or X?). Dark eyes. Not brown, dark.

She sure didn't look like a kid… but the rest of her body, the way the hoodie hung over her small frame and obviously had absolutely no curves to hide… how old was she? Anywhere between 10 and 20? As estimates go, this wasn't really helpful, but was really the best I could come up with.

"Where can I put my stuff?"

"Depends what you have… if it's for homework, you can do it here at the dinner table or there's an extra desk up in my office."

"You have an office here?"

"Yeah, I work from home."

"Isn't this like… lonely? That's like being homeschooled. I know some homeschoolers. They're weird as fuck"

One-two punch. Again. And should I say something about swearing? Not my place.

"I like it this way. I like being alone".

"Sorry for ruining your weekend then". She said this with a big smile, the first time I've actually seen her smile - or have any facial expression at all. Did she just wink at me?

"No, sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I mean I like to be alone when I work. Most of it is pretty technical stuff and I can concentrate better when I'm alone. Plus, I can play the music I like, go for a snack or a walk whenever I want, I can even take a nap during work"

Cat's face changed from a smile to "boooooring" and I stopped talking.

"Office is ok I guess. I don't want to disturb you when you enjoy your alone time in the living room. And yeah, I kinda also work better when I'm alone".

"You can give me your backpack and I'll take it upstairs. You can take a look around if you want".

Cat picked up the backpack and handed it to me. She had to raise her arm to shoulder height so I could take the backpack from her. She looked up at me and the smile was back. Not the mischievous smile from before, but actually a warm, genuine smile.

"Thank you".

I walked to the back of the living room.

"Didn't you say you want to take it upstairs?" Cat asked with a puzzled expression.

"Yes. I have stairs inside the apartment"

"Of course you do".

No one-two punch this time, still just a big smile. I felt butterflies in my stomach. I'm not into teenagers. I even stayed away from teen porn. But this was the first smile in a long, long time that really made my heart skip a beat. Damn.

I took the backpack upstairs, made sure that she hadn't followed me. I took a quick look inside the backpack. There it was. A math book. I opened it. 6th grade. I closed it. I felt a lump in my stomach. A lump in my stomach and a strange tickling further down. Stop it. No way.

I went back down. Cat was standing at the window, looking outside.

"You have the same view as we do - but one story really makes a difference."

"If you like that, the view from the top floor is even better."

"From your office?"

I paused. Damn.

"No, from… from my bedroom".

Cat turned around. Looked at me, her smile had changed. Still warm but… I wish I hadn't said anything. This was awkward.

"Good for you. Too bad I won't see it then."

"Yeah, sorry, I didn't…"

"Shush, it's ok".

Had this kid just shushed me?

A long pause. Long enough to be uncomfortable.

"Would you like to have dinner with me? Sorry, I mean: what would you like for dinner?"

"I can grab a bite to eat at our place downstairs. But if you already have, like, prepared anything, that's fine, too"

"No, not really. But if you like, can we whip something up?"

"Pancakes?"

"Uhm… I think I have a waffle mix… but no pancake mix."

"What do you mean, a 'mix'?"

"This powder stuff, you add water and boom, waffle batter… or dough? I mean waffle stuff you can… fry?"

Cat's grin got bigger and bigger while I talked.

"I mean pancakes. We can make pancakes. Not a mix. Pancakes. Cakes. In a pan. With batter we make"

"If you know how… I mean… if you're in, I'm in"

Cat walked over to the fridge, opened it, and looked inside.

"OK, I'll scoot down and get… Well, pretty much everything. You do have a pan, right?"

"I do…"

"Be right back. Don't cook anything while I'm away"

She walked by me. "If this was a 'Juno' reference, extra points"

"What Juno reference?"

"If you're in, I'm in".

"Uhm, no… what's Juno?"