nothing lasts#10

-Daniel: "is there something wrong with me? Being this weak emotionally? I don't wanna be like this.. but.. I can't help it.. I'm worn out, and I don't wanna show it but I also can't pretend to be fine. What do I do? I'm sick of this. I'm really tired Kai.. I'm tired and consumed.. if I only were emotionless and cold.. if I only were one of those who nothing seems to hurt or matter to them.."

-Kai: "Being a man is not about killing your emotions and becoming distant and cold Dan, no matter how hurt you might be.

It's about conquering and mastering these things. Standing tall even in the absolute worst of life's trials. Being a man is finding your own way in your own time. Getting up when you stumble, feeling your feelings in a healthy way. Only cowards hide from themselves Daniel. that's what I've learned from everything I've been through, be it good or bad.. and Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm not. But it helped me find my way, and that's good enough for me, for now. And you should think of it the same way.."

-Daniel: ".. you know what really shatters my soul? Is that i've always told her that i understand her and her feelings.. and maybe i did.. maybe i didn't.. All i know is that i didn't feel her, i couldn't.. even when i tried my best.. it still seemed impossible.. you know why?

Because no matter how bad and horrible i feel thinking about what she's gone through, she must've felt worse.. so much worse.. i could never bring myself to say the words "i feel you.. I know how bad it feels.. i know what you're thinking mina..". Maybe we wouldn't have lost her if i looked at her in the eyes and did so.. Maybe to feel consoled and understood was all she needed.. But i didn't because it is impossible for me to understand what it does to a person's soul.. i did my best to help her feel better that's for sure, But even my best was still not enoug that she unalived herself. Can you imagine what kind of dark thoughts she was having?"

-kai: "i understand Dan.. but you know what? Maybe it was for the best that she passed away.. nobody can live with such pain"

-Daniel: "huh?.. what do you mean? She didn't pass away, She killed herself kai! It's not the best for anybody to feel so hopeless, lonely, and desperate that they start thinking that they have to die!"

-Kai: "that's not what i meant Danny, All i'm saying is that.."

Daniel got up and started yelling, interrupting kai's words

-Daniel: "yea right.. your usual "that's not what i meant" excuse, then how about you consider choosing your words wisely? All you're good at is speaking randomly without thinking about what's coming out of your mouth"

-Kai: "choose my words wisely? do you? Wait.. of course you do choose your words wisely unless it's me you're talking to because i'm not as important.."

-Daniel: "No-! i just don't like being formal with you! Are you trying to turn the tables!?"

-kai: "it's not just that.. you don't care about me as much as i care about you.. i always come last to you, you never give the same energy back when it comes to me"

-Daniel: "i- i don't see it.. I.." he muttered

-Kai: "you don't see it because you don't see me whole.. you-"

he tried his best to bring himself to talk with a cracking broken voice

"You don't realize the things you make me feel"

-Daniel: "no kai that's not tr-"

Kai grabbed Daniel by the arms and tightened his grip on him as he asked with a serious tone of voice

-Kai: "what am i to you Danny!?"

Daniel was slightly shocked, his eyes widened..

the two were having an intense eye contact.

words failed Daniel, While kai continued

"Call me when you have an answer"

He then let go of him and left.

Daniel was left speechless and tense,

He didn't understand what was that all about.

But he was sure about one thing..

And that was that he doesn't wanna lose kai ever.

Few hours later he called Kai hesitantly

Kai immediatly picked up once his phone rang with Daniel's name on the screen

-Kai: "yes?"

-Daniel: "you asked what you're to me..

You are everything.. so ignorant of you to even doubt your position even though you know that i'm still going for you.. and having you is more than enough for me to keep doing so even though i lost my family and the only girl i loved. You're.. the only one i really wish i die before i lose.. because you matter..

And.. i- love you.. if that answers your question.."

-Kai: "what took you so long..?"

-Daniel: "i'm sorry.. you know how bad i'm with words.."

-Kai: "wipe your tears Dan.."

-Daniel: "how did you.."

-Kai: "Danny.. i can tell how you're feeling just from your voice.. that's how much i love you,"

Daniel smiled and remained silent for a moment then said

-Daniel: "do you wanna come over?"

-Kai: "you don't need to invite me"

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#two days later#

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-kai: "Daniel get yourself ready, I wanna take you out tonight."

-Daniel: "why?"

-kai: "i don't know, I wanna have some fun with you It's been a while, and you're always home this isn't good for you."

-Daniel: ".. I don't mind, where are we going?"

-kai: "anywhere.. let's just have fun together."

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*in the amusement park*

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-Daniel: "I had so much fun thank you."

-Kai: "yea me too, it's been a while."

-Daniel: "let's do this every now and then kai"

-kai: "yea I'd love to."

-Daniel: "how's anya doing?"

-kai: "she is okay I guess, I took her out on a date yesterday. She is having some problems with her mom as usual."

-Daniel: "that's sad.."

-kai: "and I've been taking good care of my mom lately, it's really hard when your loved ones leave unexpectedly.."

-Daniel: "... true"

-kai: "danny.. please take care of each other."

-Daniel: "yea we will always, kai you don't have to worry about us this much. And you're always here for us in case we do anything stupid"

Daniel looked at kai and laughed innocently.. kai knew that this would probably be the last time he'd see daniel's smile.. and so he uncontrollably muttered in a broken voice

-kai: "i will miss you"

-Daniel: "huh?"

-kai: "no, nothing."

-Daniel: "I love you kai"

-kai: "I love you more,"

-Daniel: "pffftahahahahaha this sounds really strange, I understand now why anya and mina were so mad whenever they heard us talking like this.."

-Kai: "yea.. I miss these days."

-Daniel: "me too"

Silence fell, Daniel spaced out gazing into the horizon of the sea before them, while kai was fully focused staring at Daniel whose eyes started to water

(-kai: "no don't- if you cry now, you'll just make it harder for me to leave..")

He thought to himself then addressed Daniel

"Should we go have dinner somewhere? I'm starving"

Daniel wiped his tears away then answered

-Daniel: "Y-yea.. me too"

-kai: "what do you wanna eat?"

-Daniel: "i don't know.. seafood maybe?"

Kai stepped ahead and extended his hand for Daniel to take it

-kai: "you're being picky just because you know i'm paying"

Daniel held kai's hand as they walked away from the bridge together

-Daniel: "you got me!"

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"sezar stay with your uncle, we all are going to visit your grandmother in the hospital we'll take you along next time okay?"

-sezar: "No mom! I wanna go with you."

"But sezar it's the man's job to guard the house in our absence and you have homework your teacher will be disappointed if you don't do it, you wanna go to middle school don't you?"

-sezar: "yes mom.."

"Then stay and do your homework, your uncle will help you with anything you don't understand. And be careful, do not open the door to anyone okay? Thieves will try to break in and hurt you!"

-sezar: "okay mom I'll do as you say."

"Good boy."

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A few moments after his family's left the house, Sezar went to his uncle who was in the living room watching TV to help him with his homework.

-sezar: "uncle.. can you help me solve this problem?"

"sure.. come sit on my lap and I'll help you with it."

-sezar: "sure.."

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His uncle explained the question to Sezar, and showed him the method of how to solve it

"you understood it?"

-sezar: "yes uncle thank you"

Sezar kissed his uncle on the cheek Leaving him startled and not so long after that, he followed sezar to his room.

-sezar: "uncle? What brought you here?"

"Take off your pants."

-sezar: "huh? Why would I do that? They're clean my mom changed them for me before leavi.. "

Before finishing his words his uncle pushed him to the ground and did so himself

"you better not tell anyone about this.. "

-sezar: "uncle? W-what're you doing?? My mom won't be happy if she.."

Sezar tried to push his uncle that was triple his size off of him but he couldn't as he got his hands pinned to the ground

("Huh? Is my voice even heard? I feel so dizzy, I feel like throwing up.. am I dying?..

This burning pain.. this numbness.. am I dying? I'm sorry mom.. I'm sorry.. the thief was inside the house all along mom..")

These were the thoughts that crossed sezar's mind before he blacked out

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"My childhood was cursed.. i spent it waiting for the moment to speak up but i never did.. whenever i tried to.. these damned voices in my head held me back saying it was too late and no one would believe me.. Everything I was going through was unreasonable to my parents but me and that pig knew why I was losing my mind every night.. i had to suffer alone in silence and even had to see him in occasions and talk to him as if he never did a thing to me..

It sometimes felt like that kind of dreams in which you can't tell the difference between them and reality but i knew that it wasn't a dream. I just wish it was..."

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