the depth of yourself

Kazuki feels the water in his lungs. Slowly, he becomes difficult to breathe. But he doesn't give up yet. The overwhelming sensations are getting worse. He feels like his weight is pushing him underwater, in the depth of the inner world. He feels the water running through his skin. However the feeling isn't unpleasant. The water is warm, and as he sinks into it there is nothing but a calming atmosphere. He gets deeper but he doesn't try to fight against it. He accepts it. Breathing becomes less difficult. He doesn't feels

 like he needs it. His lungs are full of water. His lungs are full of himself. 

Sounds and lights gradually fade away around him. He doesn't speak. He doesn't think. He just let himself go in the dark. His eyes get a last glimpse of light. Kazuki reaches out his right hand in front of him, like he is trying to touch the light a last time before disappearing. Blood starts to leak from his hands. The pressure of the depth is slowly crushing his hands. More blood leaks from his body. He leaves a red trail behind him while he keeps sinking. The bones of his arm are slowly getting crushed, still he senses nothing but comfort. It's like Tian-Han said. It doesn't hurt. It's like what happened to Tian-Han. Kazuki knows that he will come back untouched. He won't hurt himself. He can keep going and embrace this world. 

The water is coming in contact with the wounds, taking the place of the lost blood inside Kazuki's veins. It enters his body and fills him completely. He can feel it. He can feel himself. 

The surroundings disappear and he keeps going in the dark. There is only the dark, his mind and the water of his inner world. His body is being crushed but the pain isn't there.

"So.. It is how it feels. It's not that bad.. I could stay there.. I could keep going. Where would I go? Is there a limit? How do I know that I'm feeling it? I can feel the water.. It's inside me.. Everywhere.. But.. I can't feel all the water.. I can't feel this whole world.. I can't feel myself.. Or can I ?"

He tries to move what remains of his arms around him. He feels them moving through the water. He exercises his mind to feel the arms in the water. As he keeps moving them, a new sensation is rising inside of him. Each time he moves, it's like something is moving inside of him. He slowly starts to sense the inner world. It is himself. This task isn't hard, as he acknowledges 

It is quiet. There is nothing. Nothing but himself, everywhere. Then, unexpectedly, a light appears behind him. A pretty weak light for the forever darkness. Kazuki turns around to face a brightening red crack in the middle of the water. It seems to be on something solid even though there is only water in this area. Kazuki moves his injured arms in the direction of the crack. He puts his arms on it. Only the crack is solid. Everything else around is water. 

Right after touching the crack, he feels something weird. He looks below him, just to see his lower body perfectly cut, sinking by itself into the darkness. All of a sudden, he feels the water inside his lungs and the pain starts to appear. 

All of a sudden, everything disappears. Kazuki opened his eyes. He is still at the surface of his inner world. He is safe, like Tian-Han was before. He looks at his Master, who smiles. 

"Good jo-" 

The praise of the old man is stopped by Kazuki, coughing and spitting blood from his mouth in his hands. Panicked, he looks at his master. Kazuki starts to shake and throws up a mix of water, puke and blood. Tian-Han looks at his student, worried.

"- This.. This shouldn't be possible… Did something happened while you were working on your inner world? 

-There were.. A crack.. In the water.. 

-A crack? That's weird… What could it-" 

Tian-Han stops for a moment and looks at Kazuki with an expression he has never seen before. It's like the old man realized things are worse than he feared.

"The scar. The scar they left that night. They put them so deep… It touched so far that it went to your essence, what defines you.."

Kazuki suddenly falls on the water and starts shaking. The movements rapidly become a convulsion. 

"Leave your inner world, Kazuki! Open your eyes!"

Tian-Han does it and Kazuki immediately follows. As both of them open their eyes in the real world, Tian-Han witness Kazuki convulsating in the pond. Kazuki, who just got back in the real world, feels his whole body shaking. A terrible pain go through his body, coming from his hips. The only thing that the young boy can do is scream while Tian-Han take the boy in his arms and transports him to his bedroom. There, he looks at Kazuki suffering, screaming in agony and doubling over in pain.