BigDreamWriter
การเขียน
ของการอ่าน
21
อ่านหนังสือ
ป้าย
3โมเมนต์
13
BigDreamWriter1yrตอบกลับถึง Noely_poleyif you read the story a little more, which you didn't since you said you hated it. It would've said it
Rae-gi was wishing to get out so bad, he closed his eyes and as soon as he opened it.*Enter Player Name*. He didnt believe what he was seeing but when he tried to type his name, he was convinced it was all real.- BigDreamWriter1yrตอบกลับถึง Noely_poley
Ok I will try my best to explain. A person hired Rae-gi right? The person who hired Rae-gi, tailed him to see if he was doing the job properly. But the thugs that Rae-gi was hired to defeat, killed the person who hired Rae-gi. I hope you understand.
"Who sent you?" They said to Rae-gi. Rae-gi not thinking too much of it said he got orders from a random guy in a suit. They started laughing at him. You're not that smart are you? Taking orders from a person you just met? Well i guess you cant get the reward you were promised. Rae-gi who was confused asked "what do you mean by that?" The gangsters said "we sent someone to spy on that person, turns out he was tailing you so we decided to assasinate him". - BigDreamWriter1yrตอบกลับถึง Noely_poley
Thats the way the bullies are in fictional novels.
Two students walk in. Well look who we have here I cant even tell if its Winnie the Pooh or Piglet. Rae-gi ignores them but one of them pours milk on his head. He didnt get enough time to wash his head. Until the end of school he didn't wash his head until he got home. - BigDreamWriter1yrตอบกลับถึง Noely_poley
- BigDreamWriter1yrแปะแล้ว
- BigDreamWriter1yrตอบกลับถึง Noely_poley
At this part, imagine that you were getting bullied. They dump something at you and you go to the bathroom. The bullies would obviously follow you and bully you there.
Two students walk in. Well look who we have here I cant even tell if its Winnie the Pooh or Piglet. Rae-gi ignores them but one of them pours milk on his head. He didnt get enough time to wash his head. Until the end of school he didn't wash his head until he got home. - BigDreamWriter1yrตอบกลับถึง Noely_poley
He is a loser, he grew up in an abusive family. He closed his eyes since there was no other thing he can do, he couldn't run as they would shoot him. I also needed a way to start his character development
Rae-gi was wishing to get out so bad, he closed his eyes and as soon as he opened it.*Enter Player Name*. He didnt believe what he was seeing but when he tried to type his name, he was convinced it was all real. - BigDreamWriter1yrตอบกลับถึง Noely_poley
I dont even know how to explain this to you. This paragraph, saying:("Who Sent You?" They said to Rae-gi. Rae-gi, not thinking much of it, said he got orders.) The quotation mark on "Who sent You?" indicates that someone is talking, The part saying "They said to Rae-gi" Means that they asked Rae-gi the question "Who Sent You". Rae-gi then replied and said he got orders. I dont mean to offend you but in one comment where you were talking about my novel, you made a lot of spelling errors. So I dont think you are one to talk.
"Who sent you?" They said to Rae-gi. Rae-gi not thinking too much of it said he got orders from a random guy in a suit. They started laughing at him. You're not that smart are you? Taking orders from a person you just met? Well i guess you cant get the reward you were promised. Rae-gi who was confused asked "what do you mean by that?" The gangsters said "we sent someone to spy on that person, turns out he was tailing you so we decided to assasinate him". - BigDreamWriter1yrตอบกลับถึง Noely_poley
After reading this paragraph, I actually got embarrassed, I will change this ASAP
ย่อหน้านี้ถูกลบแล้ว - BigDreamWriter1yrตอบกลับถึง Noely_poley
This is my first story so let me try to reply to all your comments. He tripped him to get his attention, the person who tripped him was the person who was hired to go to the factory.
On his way back to his house, he tripped. He thought it was because it was running, but it was because a person in a suit tripped him. He tried to run away but the person caught up to him. He told Rae-gi "I'm not in the mood for fighting today. If you want money go to this address and I will pay you handsomely. - BigDreamWriter1yrตอบกลับถึง Yoyuho
- BigDreamWriter1yrแปะแล้ว
A really good story overall but I feel like story should have started off with something peaceful, then the zombie outbreak starts. Because I feel like showing zombies at the very start of the chapter is not really something good. Since we all want the peace before the disaster. And I also think that the character should life a normal life in the few first chapters and then a civilian gets infected. The spread mostly starts in an enclosed space so the virus spreads faster. Just my opinion, the others might think differently. Overall really good story[img=recommend]