Helpless

Hey guys it's the author okay I'm not gonna keep you here long but don't forget to comment what y'all want to be called I'm thinking of turtles but idk enjoy the story

Aryanna out🤍✨

~Five months later~

Me and John had been dating for five months, Alexander and Eliza started dating shortly after the ball,Angelica said she had something important to tell me so her and me were going to go to the have lunch later,Peggy was Peggy,John was learning a lot of French he calls me mon amour a lot,these few months have been boring but exciting nonetheless

"Mon amour?"John shook me awake making my eyes flutter open I turn my head to look at him

"Yes?"I bring my hand up to his his cheek admiring him

"What do you think about having kids?"he holds my hand on his cheek while my eyes widen taken aback by the question

"John,i would love kids but not right now I mean we just started dating five months ago but...Trust me when I say this the only person I would want to have kids with is you"I shuffle closer and gave him a reassuring kiss He breaths a sigh of relief and kisses back

"John,why do you ask?"I give him a concerned look

"Just thinking about a future that includes you and kids and marriage and love"he scans the room before landing his eyes on mine i sit up and kiss his forehead

"Your the cutest!"I giggle he flashes me a wide smile

(Lauren's interlude came on while writing this curse shuffle play😭😭)

"So whats the plan for today?"He sits up and heads over to the closet

"Well for lunch Angelica said she had something important to tell me so me and her are having lunch other than that nothing much"I stand up and head over to the closet pulling out my (F/c) dress I go behind the curtain in our room to change once I change i walk out to see John shirtless

"John! I swear your always shirtless!"I laugh and walk over to the bed to dress it

"You know you love me shirtless"he laughs I blush At his comment

"John Laurens! How dare you make a comment like that"I finish and hug him from behind

"Y/n we have to talk"he turned around and led me to the bed to sit down

"What is it, did I do something wrong say something, are- are we b- breaking up"tears form in my eye at the thought

"No no no no, mon amour we aren't breaking up why would you think that?"he gives me a look of concern

"I- I don't know probably because I said I didn't want kids right now,but if it isn't that then what is it" I swallow the huge lump in my throat and relax knowing we aren't breaking up

"In a few weeks I'm going to the war"he pauses and waits for my response

"John, we had this conversation i told you I'm happy you want to change the world for good and stop slavery,and form the first black battalion but I could lose you in the process"I look away from him "and that would be the worst thing that could happen to me" a tear slips out and i quickly wipe it

"I need you to trust me, I'm not leaving this instant just after Alexander and Eliza get married"he rubs his hand in a circular motion against my back

"Eliza and Alex are getting married!"I give him a shocked expression as he nods

"I love you"he says while pulling My head towards his and connecting them

"I love you to"I smile

I feel so Helpless

"I'm gonna go make breakfast okay?but what do you want"I straighten my posture and get up

"Eggs and toast" he smiles

"You always want that"i giggle And walk out the room I make breakfast and me and John sit down to eat

"What did Angelica want to talk about?"he looks up from his plate

"I don't know? She didn't really tell me anything in her letter other than that she had something to tell me and that it was important"I take a sip of my water

Knock! Knock! Knock

"I'll go get it"I stand up and open the door to see Angelica crying

"Angelica! What happened?"I pull her into a hug after a few seconds she walks into the house and I close the door

"Mon amour who is it?"John walks into the living room and sees Angelica

"Ange- Angelica, I'll give you two a minute"he walks away and goes into his office I make angelicas favorite tea and hand it to her before sitting down

"What happened?we weren't supposed to meet until later?"I give her a concerned look

"Promise me you won't look at me differently"she looks up

"Angelica why wou"

"Promise me!"she cuts me off

"I promise now what happened"

"I love Alexander!"she says fast but I understand her

My eyes widen

"Wha- what"

"I love Alexander but he's marrying Eliza in a few days so I can't tell him and even if he wasn't dating Eliza I couldn't date him anyway because I'm a girl in a world where my only job is to marry rich my father has no sons so I'm the one who has to social climb for one So I'm the oldest and the wittiest and the gossip in

New York City is insidious

And Alexander is penniless that doesn't mean I want him any less"she cried

"Oh my Angelica!"I move over to her and wrap her into a hug while she cried onto my shoulder

"And the day they met Eliza looked she looked so helpless and I don't know what to do because everyone around me is getting to be in love but me!"she cried even more

"What do you mean?"she pulled away and stared into my eyes with a look of disbelief on her face

"What do you mean? I mean peggys in love with mulligan Elizas in love with Alexander and you- your in love with John Laurens so of course you wouldn't see things through my perspective!"she yelled tears streaming down her face

"Angelica-"I said trying to calm her down

"No! Your life is perfect you have the guy,your fathers amazing your mothers amazing to and your best friends  with Elizabeth Schuyler you get everything handed to you and them try to deny it when someone tells you the truth!"she yelled yet once again but this time my blood was raging I was furious she came into mine and johns home while I'm trying to comfort her for her just to tell at me I stand up and start yelling back

"My life isn't perfect! Okay Angelica until a few months ago I was beaten everyday by my father who you claim is so "amazing" and all my "amazing" mother did was get drunk and watch my father hurt me about something I had no control over!i have never had things handed to me my job everything i am today is because I worked for it, it took me so long to find John he was not some suitor waiting for my Hand in marriage he saw me at my lowest he saw all of the bruises on my body he saw how vulnerable I was he saw my own father hit me okay my life is far from perfect these first few months after the ball have been the best of my life and I'm not lying when I say that and I don't deny anything because what you said isn't true!" I feel my face warm up because of how much I was yelling then that's when I felt a feeling I hadn't felt since the night my dad saw me and John together a sting on the right side of my cheek as I feel to the ground

Smack!

Angelica Schuyler had slapped me She gasped noticing what she'd done

"Y/n I'm so sorry I didn't mean to I don't know what came over me I-"she ran over to me as John ran into the room probably hearing the smack

"Get off of me"I whisper hoping she'd hear but she didn't

"Get away from me"I said a little bit louder but she still didn't seem to hear

"Get her away from me!!" I yelled making Angelica stop

"Angelica I think its time you leave"John said as his jaw clenched and his fist balled up

She got up grabbed her coat and slammed the door as she left John the knelt down to inspect my right cheek

"That Bitch!" I mumbled under my breath

~end of chapter~

Whoa that chapter was crazy I'm in the middle of moving so i don't know when I'll publish another chapter but hopefully y'all enjoyed this one I love youuu

Aryanna out🤍✨