It Was Never Gonna Work Anyway.

The ride home was very quiet. Nobody made a sound or talked to the other. Except for when dad was giving directions to the taxi driver. Lucy was fast asleep in my mother's arms. The taxi came to a stop right in front of our little house. We all quietly descended from the taxi and mom used the key to open our door. She entered followed by me then dad and she turned on the lights. Mom disappeared into the bedroom whiles dad sat in the living room with me with his head hanging low, deep in thought.

I didn't know what to say or do. Was I in trouble or not? Were they proud of me? Argh. I'll have to ask myself if I want to get answers at all.

"Dad.... Dad please what happened on the land?" Silence....

"Dad are you okay? " Silence....

" Dad who was that ma-"

" -Shut up girl! Just shut up! After all I've done for you, after even trying to protect you you still had to go and open that mouth of yours!! "

mom entered now without Lucy in her arms then sat on the couch facing the one dad and I were sitting on.

"Jam-"

"No Mabel! not now!"

Mom didn't like being shut down like that.

" This girl has to learn to control her mouth now before it lands us in anymore trouble! "

Now I was scared because of how he was looking at me.

" Oh no James don't blame it on the child. We both know you're the one who placed us in that trouble" Dad turned his head to look at mom so quickly that I feared his neck might break.

"What are you saying woman?" Dad said in a low voice.

"When it gets to this point I'm just a woman not your wife right? I told you several times to let us leave that place, I told yo-"

" Enough! I don't want to hear anything from your lips again! You are the reason why this girl can't keep her mouth shut. It's partly my fault for leaving her with you for so long! But I thought as my wife, you'd impact her with good morals-"

" Good morals?! are you saying I'm a bad mother? ".

" That is exactly what I'm saying! "

" oh really? me? the one who has been taking care of them for all this while, when you were out every morning and evening gallivanting?"

okay I've had enough!

" Mom! Dad! please stop!"

they both stopped their death glares. Well technically they didn't really stop. They just kind of redirected it to me. Okay...

I turned to look at mom.

"Look mom, I'm more than sorry that I didn't comply with your wish to leave the land. I am so so very sorry. It was my fault not Dad's."

Then I turned to look at my father but hesitated for a second. If only looks could kill.....

"Dad, I am very sorry-"

He looked away from me

"-for not feeling sorry for what I did."

he turned to look at me whiles my mom's eyes got very wide as if pleading with me not to do something I'll regret. But I have to tell him my mind. Whether he likes it or not.

"If you want me to be sorry because I got my name next to number one on some old man's hit list just because I stood up for my family then I'm sorry but I can't be sorry."

That did make sense right?

" Lady-"

" Mom, I love you so much but there are somethings in my head that I've just got to get out."

Yes Lady, it's now or never.

" Dad, I know you don't like me because of how I am and how I talk but that's me. You can blame mom everytime for it or whip me for any amount of time but I'll still be the same. Maybe not around you but outside, I'll always be that girl who won't keep quiet and get walked on.

It'll just hurt me that my father won't get to see my real self but outsiders will"

" I love you a lot, sometimes I even feel you reciprocate the same amount of love but father, it's these times that I need you to show your love for me even more. When I show the girl inside. You know it's widely not acceptable for a woman to be loud spoken here in Africa so if you don't support your loud mouth of a daughter...who will?"

Dad was quiet for a moment and mom looked teary eyed. Then dad spoke with a low and calculated voice.

"I do not hate or even dislike you in the slightest way. And I don't hate your outgoing personality either."

That shocked me.

" But you always get so angry when u sat something a woman is not supposed to say or do something a woman is not supposed to do"

" Yes. I do but not because I hate it. Lady I love your personality. It reminds me so much of myself when I was your age."

That placed a smile on my face.

" But that's what scares me even more"

And just like that, snap!, the smile is gone.

" But why are you afraid dad? isn't it good that your first born daughter takes after her father?"

" Sweetheart that's good but not in this case" mom said

" Your father has gotten into so much trouble for just being who he is "

I looked at my dad. He nodded.

" Not to talk about how many fights I found myself in, how many enemies I made and so on."

I looked confused

" But....you're here now. You survived. So I can to-"

" -no. No you can't. I survived because I am a man Lady. That is the opposite of what you are. Do you know why u gave you your name?"

I shook my head.

" You were supposed to be named on the eighth day after you were born per culture. But because there was no money, I had to wait and name you on the third month after you were born. And during those first few months I saw it in you. My spirit and personality even though you were a baby. I was happy at first but then I realized it will hurt you later. And you know we believe that the name of a person can have a great impact on how a person's personality will be or how they will become. Your original name was supposed to be Amelia which means hardworking but I decided to go with Lady so that you can become very hardworking and also soft spoken like a lady should be.

But I guess your personality is too strong for that."

He looked at my mother then back at me.

" Lady, don't fail me. Keep that mouth of yours in check. I have shown you the right path as your father. If you take it fine but if you don't then forget about this relationship you want to have with me. I can never fully trust and love a girl knowing fully well that she'll bring only calamity and misconduct into my home-"

" James how can you say that to your daughter-"

" -woman, allow me speak the truth to her."

He turned to look at me again.

" Become a woman and it will be good for you. Become a loud mouth trouble seeker and you will perish. That's all I have for you."

And with that he got up and left into the room followed by my crying mother.

Dad wants me to become a woman? Fine I will. But not the type he thinks. A woman isn't one person. She's everything. I am everything.

I will show him that a loud mouth not so soft spoken woman can make it. It doesn't matter that he thinks he made it because he's a man. And even if he did make it alive today because he's a man, There's a saying, Whatever a man can do, a woman can do better.

Its pitiful I have to loose the little bond I had formed with my dad today. Eh. It doesn't matter, It was never gonna work between us anyway.