Dilemma

"You didn't go to work?" Lenny asked, perplexed.

Ray's friendly smile turned sheepish and his eyes darted around the area anxiously, in an attempt to avoid eye contact with Lenny. Gradually, his shoulders slumped as he stared at the tiled floor and let out a long sigh.

"This is so embarrassing. I was, uh, laid off last week. So, I asked Mr. Han for a job and he was kind enough to employ me."

"Call me Boss Han the Kind! Hahaha…" Han joked from behind the counter, still busy preparing the dish. 

However, Lenny didn't laugh. From what he knew, Ray was a soon-to-be father! Him losing his job at this critical time was absolutely not a joking matter.

"Damn, does…" Lenny paused and took a few steps closer to Ray before adjusting his tone to a lower note, "...does Emily know?"

Ray scratched the back of his head with an anxious smile. 

"I haven't… said anything to her yet."

Hearing that, Lenny's brows and face tensed. His good friend, Ray, was slowly sinking into the sand hills of this desert wasteland too.

"But you're working just down the street, it won't be long before someone…" Lenny trailed off. 

He wanted to communicate that it wouldn't take long before someone saw him wiping down tables, and with the way rumors spread in this neighborhood, it wouldn't be long before it reached Emily's ears.

Ray understood. He just sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I know. I'll tell her… within the week."

Han clicked his tongue and rested his elbows on the counter, looking at the two lads.

He shook his head.

"Marriage, it's some shit, man. Couldn't be me. When I get rich and successful, why would I stick to one woman who'll be bossing me around?"

For Lenny, this was the true Han Dong-seok—Han, the Unfiltered Blabberer. He said anything and everything that came to his mind, much to everyone's scunner.

Lenny noticed a slight shift in Ray's expression. He seemed displeased with Han's words but he knew he couldn't express it, lest he might lose his new job.

Pa!

Nana smacked Han's head with the spatula again. 

"Be quiet!"

Frustration welled up from within him due to the pain, so much so that he shrieked, "Omma!"

Nana pointed at him with the lethal weapon in her possession and berated, "You useless son! You better go find yourself a proper job, get married, and give me a grandchild!"

Han placed the deep bowl of the Korean delicacy on the counter and walked to the corridor that led to the back, creating some distance between him and Nana before retorting.

"Omma! Why do you keep embarrassing me in front of my friends? I'm a grown-up now and can make decisions for my future. It's MY life and I wanna become a great webtoon artist first before I think of anything like that! How many times do I have to tell you?"

Hearing that, Nana clicked her tongue seeing she couldn't reach him anymore with the spatula. 

"Stupid son. Go wash the dishes!"

Han's face flushed red. "But–But that's one of the things we hired Ray for!"

"Be quiet! Go wash the dishes!"

Seeing Nana violate Han, Lenny and Ray muffled their laughs but Han still caught them.

"Y-You bastards!"

Not minding Han's curses, Lenny quickly settled on a table at the corner of the diner and devoured his bowl of spicy ramyeon garnished with spring onions, leaks, carrots, two semi-cooked eggs, and sliced cheese with thin noodles soaked in a chicken-flavoured broth. 

Soon, Ray joined him with his own bowl and sat on the opposite side of the table.

Lenny noticed Ray constantly slipping into deep thought as he ate, prompting him to ask, "Is everything really okay?"

Ray let out a hollow chuckle and said, "I don't know how to answer that, but what I do know is that I need to strive for my child and Emily."

Lenny stared at him, silent. He knew things were more complicated than that. 

Ray, noticing the awkward silence, paused his eating and elaborated, "I won't lie. It's hard sometimes to get through the day but, when I see my wife's belly… I feel motivated, sort of. It doesn't matter what anyone says or thinks, I'll get up and work for that kid and Emily. It doesn't matter how unsure the future is, I'll give my all to the tiniest sliver of hope. 

"Although, heh, I'll be lying If say I don't have thoughts of just running away sometimes. Giving up might seem smart and easy—no false hope, no overstressing, no risk of failure. But… I know if I don't risk anything, I risk even more. My family, my dreams, my integrity, my self-worth."

A smile crept on Ray's lips as he continued, "I might've lost my job, but I'll get an even better one, and I'll give that kid the proper life they deserve. It's things like this that make people like us the strongest. We strive through the hardest of times no matter what, for we can't risk all we have for what we don't."

Hearing Ray, Lenny fell into a brief contemplative state.

'…We're strong, so what? We know the ones that reach the top aren't the strongest, neither are they the kindest, nor the most hardworking. They got to those heights by cheating, lying, and stomping on the heads of us, the "good people."

'No one will even remember us and the people we sacrifice so much for will eventually forget us. How are you so sure you will ever succeed? Success is only useful within a given time, and the time correlates to its worth. 

'What is the point of success when all those you cherish, those you want to see you shine, are all dead or gone? If you fail for too long, Emily will leave and find a better man, and your kid will blame you for everything wrong in their life. I wish you could look around and see we're all skeletons already…'

Lenny observed Ray's face and acknowledged it as the look of a man who hung over a ledge and held onto a thin straw.

He believed they weren't very alike, because despite seeing the reality of the situation, his scholarly friend still fought for hope. 

Lenny too, yearned for such hope, however, he wouldn't ever admit it to himself.

He let out a calm sigh, and then he smiled. "You're going to be an amazing dad."

Ray's expression softened at the compliment.

"Thanks," he said, a warm glow on his face.

Just then, Han joined them on the table and leaned in close, whispering, "Lenny! I want to show you something…"

He suspiciously bobbed around, scanning his vicinity as he took out a book with a front cover of a male warrior surrounded by numerous pointy-eared beauties with large bosoms.

"Feast your eyes on the latest edition of Hero x Elves! It was banned in every shop I checked."

Ray leaned in close with curiosity laced in his tone as he asked, "What's it about?"

"You won't understand. Only fellow a daoist and cultured man like Lenny would."

Han quickly dismissed him as he opened the book, which was actually a manga, and pushed it closer to Lenny. 

"Lenny, you read these types of comics?" Ray asked, surprised.

Not sure whether Ray was talking about the unique black-and-white nature of the comic or the fact that it was R18, Lenny was still slightly embarrassed. He pushed the manga away and faked a cough.

"A-Ahem. Sometimes…"

After that, they chatted for a while, with Han mostly indoctrinating Ray into the world of "culture". Lenny was silent though, his mind constantly ruminated over Ray's words.

'…The tiniest sliver of hope, huh…'

Gazing at the ceiling of the small diner, he sighed and voiced, "Have you guys heard of an app called…"

His eyes fell on the frozen faces of Ray and Han, who were patiently anticipating his question.

However, he shrugged it off, not wanting to disturb them with such a stupid thing. 

"Don't worry about it. It's a scam anyway."

At 2:30 PM, still with no call from Desmond, Lenny bid Ray and Han goodbye and went back home.

Passing by the laundry area of the apartment complex, he met Mike, the neighbour who lent him the exquisite Ralph Lauren suit he used in the fake life stunt he pulled just the day before. 

He informed Lenny that he would soon come over, so Lenny could help him edit a video of his. Mike was a social media influencer and could probably edit, but not as good and professional as Lenny who had learned it so he could earn through commissions on GoUpwork.com.

So, not long after Lenny entered his apartment, he heard a light rap on his door. He answered it hastily without reservations since he was expecting Mike.

Unexpectedly, a stylish man with permed short black hair, donning tinted sunglasses, and sporting a trimmed goatee stood casually at the door. Light wrinkles that marked his face said he was in his early 40s.

He was donning an ash-grey suit with the first two buttons of his beach-design inner shirt left open, revealing a thick 24-karat gold chain. He had an air of wealth, power, and playfulness around him.

Behind him were three men clad in black suits with red inner shirts. There was one in particular with a bald head, towering over 6 feet, and had a ghastly scar on his face that extended from his forehead and trailed down, right beneath his left eye, and stopped at the lower part of his cheek.

The stylish man's eyes lit up as he set his eyes on Lenny. He smiled, revealing his golden incisor tooth in his seemingly perfect set of teeth. 

However, Lenny's heart raced at the sight of these visitors.

Jovially, the stylish man spread his arms wide. 

"Kiddo, it's nice to see you're well," he greeted. Just then, his eyes coldly stared down at Lenny as added in a chilling tone, "...where's my money?"