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To Be The Devil's Daughter: The Beginning

Author: yukides_
แฟนตาซี
Ongoing · 40.2K Views
  • 19 Chs
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  • 4.5
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Synopsis

When Roxy is accidentally summoned by a group of Men in New York amidst a tragedy they couldn't avoid. She smirked as soon as she realized what realm she had come back to. Humanity had joined forces to defeat a common enemy: The Shifters. And to that, the system of Shifter Regime was established, back in the year after The Cold War. "So what's your story, girl? Why should we take you as a scout?" "Many people call me many names. Some call me the Daughter of Hell, and some call me The Cursed Offspring of Lucifer, the Fallen Angel. Most of the times, I go by the name...Roxy. Humans here call me Roxy Malford, but don't know how to respect me." She introduced herself but even this human had laughed at her. "You're hired. Welcome to the Regime, Roxy Malford. Here we defeat evil...with evil. My secretary will direct you to your designation, starting from now." Oh, the smirk on her face. They say, there's Good in every Bad thing and there is Bad in every Good thing. Roxy is set to test her limits by the powers she possesses as the fate of the darkness depends on her.

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Chapter 1Prologue

Calm before the storm.

Roxy walks her way to her father's throne as she sees his fierce face judging the souls which keep screaming to not be dissolved into the red material. They never understand, do they?

"They will never want to see themselves changing. Can't they try so hard to impress you?" She asks her father who smirks and crushes his fist so the wall falls and the souls of the lost ones are thrown into the depths of the reincarnation river.

They call it...The river of fate. Demons, nymphs, monsters of all kinds and the top of the chain, stubborn and arrogant - humans, these creatures form the line to hell after their life on earth has ended.

Oh, Earth. I have never been there but I heard of great, great stories from that big blue planet. My sister, scratch that, half-sister Jikun, is someone I loathe with my soul, even if I don't even have one. But I do hate that woman because she is the child of another greedy human - my stepmother and father's other wife.

He was fine with Jikun until I arrived in hell and everything changed. You see, storks don't drop babies in here. Only Satan was the one to make babies and that turned out to be unfavourable since he wanted a boy. After me, he took the grand oath to never let any human... betray him again...

Jikun is younger than me, but she acts as if she owns this place because she is the only real child of Satan, aka my dad and The Human. She's got nothing but pride and I bet she slept with Pride to get that honour in her body.

Anyway, I look towards the working Seven Sins who have just landed. They walk in a beeline towards their head as they talk about their daily dose to Dad. It is essential to keep the peace in this place where it can never be called peace at all. After a while, I look at Dad, who's been looking at me.

"Take her with you. Make sure she is of use and teach her the ways of the human world. Let her meet whoever she wants." He says as it catches my ear.

"Go... where?"

Lust answers me. I hate him. He has always been trying to get into my pants and I hate him for his natural nature. He is Lust, but I won't deny the fact that he looks like a man who can have me just with a click of his finger. Calling him a God here is forbidden. Simple rules of hell.

"Earth," Lust says with the same expression in his eyes as he looks at me and licks his lips. Okay, that makes me want to satisfy him just once. I may have to do that when Dad is away to commune with the angels that come here for business, and then maybe I will know what this sin is.

You might have already guessed it right off my feet. I am a virgin. I do not count my years, but I would like to say, with this body of mine, that I am at least a few million years old and I would love to explore the top surface of Earth. The green things, vampires, nymphs, humans and nasty fairies too. I know I will gulp them down my throat when they come towards me.

You could be wondering when is all this happening. Well, we are at the stone age at the moment and I sneak in a few moments from the devil's corner where he likes to invigilate and judge their reason to visit down here or go up there, to you know where.

"I am allowed to go to earth?" I ask as my dad nods his head, his grave voice following after as I hide my smirk when I look at lust.

"You have to learn to adapt. Jikun was there for a while too. She will come after you. Earth is a billion years old but humanity had just started. I will send you there…2000 years later. Until then, prepare yourself." He says as I smirk and bow down to him. it was mandatory, and I hated it, but I didn't want him to take my powers away.

Oh, my precious powers.

As soon as our discussion ends, I head down towards my room. I like to call it room, but they have it labelled as Roxy's chamber. My name's emerald carving doesn't make it look good. I want to change it soon.

There is no clue of day and night here, unlike on Earth. So our schedules are whatever they seem to be and we sleep when we are tired. So there are no rules like the humans who have just discovered that there will be day and night, a shift of the earth above against the surface and their biological clocks that make them sleep at night and work by the day when the sun is shining.

Oh, sun. When I go to the surface, I am sure I will turn into dust because the sun is said to be something that will be a source of heating things until it is damaged and ruined. Like fire…

What do I do about that? I am better than the witch herself. Making my way towards Jikun's chamber, I hear sounds of moaning and groaning and skin slapping. It doesn't take a fool's brain to process what was happening behind those oh-so-close doors.

I flick my wrist and the lock from the inside opens as I barge inside to see the Lust on top of Jikun. Oh right. I forgot to mention. These two are equally nasty and like to have flings whenever and wherever possible.

The troublesome thing is that Dad allows her to be fumbled by him. Only I know what kind of a person Lust is because he wants me and no one else to satisfy himself to the core. I feel Gluttony passing by behind me as he tries to peek inside to see the view of them shamelessly slutting each other out like our presence didn't matter to them. I don't move, only because I like this stupid nameless feeling inside me when I see and imagine things like these. Sex, it is called, universally.

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This novel has a lot of potential as the story itself is intriguing, however, I do believe it needs a lot of work to reach that potential. A lot of the sentences tend to ramble and are very repetitive and while this is something that can be utilized to amplify the tension or feeling in a scene or dialogue, that was not done properly here. There's also a lot of telling instead of showing. I felt like as soon as there was any sort of question on anything that had me curious, that curiosity was squashed when the information was given right after. The flow felt quite jagged due to the above mentioned as well which made reading along feel like quite a drag despite the essence of the story being very intriguing so it felt very unfortunate and frustrating because I WANTED to read more but it felt really difficult to do so. Character descriptions were practically non existent for the characters other than Lust (and I liked that his description was simple but painted a clear picture in my head with only a few words). It also is a bit confusing because Persephone marries Hades in usual mythology and it seems like this novel tends to follow that, however, Hades and Satan are not the same person/do not have the same origin. Satan rules over Hell and Hades rules over Hades/the Underworld but the Underworld is not the same place as Hell. Satan is an angel who opposed God and is a ruler of evil, while Hades is a God who rules over the land of the dead. So it seems you mixed/confused two different pieces and while I do think this is something that is doable, I don't feel it was executed correctly with the set up. The first chapter is a "prologue" so I thought that Chapter 2 would jump right into the plot in the summary, but instead of the prologue being contained to the first chapter, it was dragged out to many chapters after. I think it would be better to change these chapters to the auxiliary volume for the complete prologue, or this part of the plot should be made apparent in the summary since it's such a drastic change from what the summary explains. I think that these are quite easy fixes and just need some polishing so don't give up. This novel has a lot of potential! You can do it author!

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