Heartless

Days have gone by since the incident. People around Jes have noticed that he doesn't smile anymore and his words are devoid of emotion. Just like he is a shell that cares only for one thing and one thing only. The inn.

One day Ilina came back to look for more knowledge that Jes holded. She said "I've read the book you gave me and studied it properly. I think that I'm ready for the next step." Diane and Elision came to listen more closely.

Jes said "Why should I give you any more books? Doing so doesn't benefit the inn so doing so is meaningless." Ilina says "But you have been giving the books to me so far. Why are you getting stingy now?"

Jes responds "I now only focus on the inn. Anything else is meaningless." Ilina scratches her head and then asks "If I pay you, will you give me more books." Jes simply answers "This isn't a bookstore."

Ilina responds "Come on. Why aren't you even trying to negotiate?" Jes answers "Earthly values such as money don't interest me. Only thing that matters is whether you are a customer or not. You don't show signs of being a customer, so please leave or I will force you to leave."

Ilina is pissed off after hearing that and says "Fine! Be a jerk! If you are so stuck up then screw yourself." Then she leaves as she shuts the door loudly.

Diane comes and says to Jes "You know you could have gotten some money from her if you took up her offer. I know that you have been sharing books so earnestly to her before, so I kind of feel bad for her."

Jes says "This isn't a bookstore. This is an inn. We only offer rooms, food, drinks and a washing area. Everything else is meaningless." Diane says "But you made a friend by giving those books to her."

Jes responds "I don't have friends. Only outsiders, staff and customers. Everything else is meaningless." Elision says "Being kind to your customers is an important thing in trade so acting friendly is advisable."

Jes says "In a transaction, the only thing that matters is the fact that there is something of value for both parties. Everything else is meaningless." Diane says "So if we weren't paying customers, you would just kick us out?"

Jes says "If you cause trouble at the inn, THEN I will throw you out. That means that if you don't cause a decline in the customers coming here then I don't have to throw you out." Diane is getting pissed and says "You sound like a ruthless businessman and I don't like it."

Jes says "It is meaningless to me whether you like it or not." Then Diane says "I don't think that I will be sleeping here tonight. What about you Elision?" Elision gives a sad and worried look to Jes and then says to Diane "I think I will pass on today as well." Jes responds to this "I have to inform you miss Diane that the money you spent on the room you have booked cannot be refunded." Diane says while leaving "I don't care." Then leaves.

Before Elision leaves, she says "While the food wasn't bad, it tasted different today compared to what it was before." Then Elision also leaves.

Now the inn was devoid of customers. Iloton said "You sure that you don't want to keep holding on to your customers? Iloton thinks that while you have started to get more visitors to come and eat the food, you don't can't really afford to lose more customers. That is if you don't want to cheat."

Jes says "I don't care if I have to cheat. As long as the inn stays, I am content with how things are." Iloton responds "So it isn't about the customers anymore, but it is about the inn itself."

Then Jes turns his attention to Iloton for a moment and says "I have been thinking lately that what value do you being here offer me. It has come to my attention that you offer little to no value to me, so I have to ask that you leave if you aren't a paying customer."

Iloton is stunned by this and says "You know Iloton is an outer god, right?" Jes answers "Yes." Iloton says "You know if Iloton doesn't get what Iloton wants, Iloton will cause havoc on the world?" Jes answers "Yes." Iloton asks "You don't care what Iloton would do to the rest of the world?" Jes answers "No."

Iloton is stunned for a while until Jes asks "So are you leaving or are you paying to stay the night?" Iloton then gets up from her chair and slowly leaves the inn. After the door is closed behind her, Iloton asks herself "What will Iloton do now?"

Then there are only a few customers coming to the inn. Eve has made a base in the Unseen Moon Inn and Bellum likes to drink there as well. Then there are the occasional succubi, who took offense to the fact that Jes drove Iloton out so they now are frequenting other inns more often. Eventually Bellum stopped coming thanks to the emotionless father of hers and now the only regulars were Eve and Aia.

And so the days went by.

Then days turned into weeks.

And then weeks turned into months.

Eventually even Eve left the inn and there weren't as many people being drawn by the food.

By himself, Jes spoke "It doesn't matter."

Then Aia once said to him "The way you are now isn't as fun as it was before. You have driven the people away from you in your pursuit of focusing only on the inn. Eventually, I will also stop coming. And then you are left with no one. Are you okay with that? Having an inn that barely anyone uses."

Jes responds with the same old "Only thing that matters to me is the inn. Everything else is meaningless." Aia then gets up and puts her hands on Jes's cheeks. Then she says "What will you do when you are all alone? Come now. Be the same old Jes that we all knew. After you get out of your shell again, go and apologize to all the people you drove away."

Jes is silent at this. Then he mutters "The only thing that matters is the inn." Aia is surprised to hear that and then lets go of Jes. Then she says "I guess I couldn't get you back after all." Then she leaves without a word and now there is truly no one else but Jes.

He spent time there and said to himself "It doesn't matter."

More time passes and he once again says to himself "It doesn't matter."

Even if Dikaio came and visited, she was also pushed back by the man who only cared for his inn.

Eventually a year had gone by with barely any customers coming and going.

Then Levil came and visited. He said "Care for a round of chess?" Jes almost said "no" as a reflex, but then he came to realize that it wouldn't bother the flow of customers anyways. So he said "Sure" and then Levil snaps his fingers and then they both are on top of a mountain. Levil casted a wind barrier and then the two started playing.

During this match, Levil said to Jes "You seem less interesting than you were before. Care to explain it to your old pal?" Jes said "I ripped my heart out and sank it in a place where no one can reach." Levil then says "I see. Not only did you physically rip your heart out, you also ripped your heart out metaphorically, making you an empty shell of a man. *Sigh* How dull of a choice. Yet still poetic in a sense."

The game continued for a while. And then Levil asked "Why?" Jes asks "Why what?" Levil asks "Why did you cast your heart away?" Jes says "So that I won't make any more mistakes." Levil then says "And you think you haven't made any mistakes now that you are heartless?" Jes says "The only thing that matters is the inn, so no, I haven't made any mistakes."

Levil sighs and says "Do you not realize the hole in which you have dug yourself in? If by your logic you have made mistakes only when you had a heart, then wasn't the act of ripping your heart out a mistake by itself?"

Jes thinks for a moment. Then Levil continues "The path you are walking now is a lonely one with no companionship nor joy of any kind. Just a man waiting for a customer until the world ends. Even though you suffered thanks to your heart after losing the one you love over and over again, you still found joy in some minor things. Like how we would spend time together like this. Sure, I enjoy these moments more than you, but don't deny the minor joy you had whilst with me."

Then Jes says "It is all meaningless." Levil then rose up and said "So what if it is?! What matters is the now and not what will be." Then Jes waits for a moment before he says "It's your turn."

Levil sits down and thinks for a moment. Then says "Let's make a bet." Jes asks "A bet?" Levil then responds "Yes. A bet. A bet about who will win this match. If you win, you may live as you do now. But if I win, you will go and search for your heart even if it breaks you. Once you will find it, you will put it back in and then live with it for at least to the end of this world. Do we have a deal?"

Levil offers his hand as to make a covenant. Jes thinks for a while. The he decides to take this offer as to validate himself and grabs Levil's hand and says "Deal." Then both men put some magic into the handshake and both say out loud "Covenant".

Then the game continues and both men try their best to win this match. They have always tried their best, but now there were stakes in this so neither man could afford to lose. Levil wanted his old buddy back and Jes wanted to stay how he is forever more.

The match was long and arduous, until the winner became the god of evil himself, Levil. Levil was overjoyed with emotion since this was the first time he had won against Jes. But he could not celebrate yet, since this wasn't the true strength of the unspoken god. He calmly said to the loser "The covenant must be honored." Jes said "I know" and rose from the chair and vanished from the mountain.

Then Levil rises from his chair and says "This is out of character for me. Helping so many people by doing this. I must do something to rectify this." Then Levil smiles, looks up and says "I'll be waiting for you, old friend."

Jes went to the unspoken world and stood there for a while. Then he extended his hand with the palm facing downwards and started calling his heart back from the debts. But suddenly, something pushed him back. After he rose up, he heard a voice speaking to him. "What are you here for?"

Jes looks down and sees that the person talking is his muddied reflection. Jes says "I'm here to recover my heart." To which the reflection says "But you buried it for a reason." Jes says "I know, but I need it back." The reflection says "But you will hurt again." Jes says "I don't care." The reflection says "You'll hurt them again." Jes answers "I already have." The reflection says "You will feel the pain of loss again." Jes says "I don't care."

The reflection shouts "You'll have to carry those regrets!" Jes says "I know. That is my burden to carry." The reflection shouts "You'll have to play the act again!" Jes says "I know. That is my burden to carry." The reflection shouts "You will feel like giving it all up without being able to quit!" Jes says "I know. That is my burden to carry." The reflection shouts "You will wish you never had feelings again!" To which Jes says "I know. That is my burden to carry."

The reflection fell silent for a moment. Then it says "You don't have the right to cry." Jes says "I know." The reflection says "You will want to cry." Jes says "I know."

The reflection fell silent once more. Then it said one last thing. "Why?" Jes thought about it for a moment and then said "For those feelings in my heart to be realized." The reflection then disappeared.

Jes then raised his hand the same way as before and started pulling it back to him. While pulling it, he started to regain the helplessness he had before. Yet he continued to pull it back up. His mind is saying "It's meaningless" to which he says "So what." And then the heart is back at his hand again.

Jes puts his heart back to where it belonged and he feels sudden pain in his body. The unfulfilled feelings cause him great pain, but it is his burden to carry. The pain subsides after a while and Jes is back at his usual self again. He then stretches and says "I'm back. Now I just have to…" he sighs "...go and apologize."

He then went to the mage's tower in Taurus and looked where Ilina was. He sensed a familiar presence in one of the rooms, so he went there without anyone noticing.

When he got in, he quietly unlocked the door and then opened it while saying with a low volume "Excuse me." Then he saw a naked Ilina who just came out of the shower looking for a towel. Their eyes met and there was a moment of silence. Ilina got red in the face and that was when Jes decided to say "Sorry" and go back behind the door. Luckily she didn't scream. Jes could have taken anyone who would have come to her rescue, but he didn't want to do that.

After a while, Ilina opened the door sheepishly and said with embarrassment "Come in." Jes did so and then Ilina showed him a chair to sit in and Jes followed her instructions. Then she poured some tea for both of them and then she sat in the opposite chair of the table.

Neither of them knew how to begin the conversation for a while. It took a while, but eventually Jes said "I'm… sorry I didn't knock." Ilina responds by "I mean, it was supposed to be locked, but you came in anyways." Jes says "I opened it with magic." Ilina says while taking her tea "As expected of someone like you. You managed to dispel my magical lock."

Jes then takes a sip of tea himself while saying "Sorry." And after he takes a sip, he says "It's actually quite good." Ilina says "Of course it is. That old hag… I mean my master would pester me if I couldn't make a decent cup of tea." Jes says "It is a good thing for a lady to be able to do." Ilina says "I… suppose."

Then an awkward silence came again and neither knew how to continue. Then Jes got the courage to say "I apologize for what I did back when we last met. I… wasn't my true self back then." Ilina says after drinking some tea "I expected that to be the case and I have been waiting for you to come and apologize for a while. Didn't expect it to take over a year though." Jes says "Well, you know how stubborn I can be." Ilina says "Oh, absolutely. You and your stuck up ways. Anyways, I accept your apology."

Jes says "I'm glad to hear that. Here, take this." He hands Ilina a book. Ilina asks "What's this?" Jes responds "It is a more advanced book about magic than your previous one. It should be an eye opener in some ways." Ilina says "Well thank you. Didn't expect it to take a year to continue." Jes says "I'm sorry. Feel free to come to my inn any time if you need more books, want to eat or want a place to stay." Ilina smiles and says "I will. Now then… Um… I hope we can keep the thing that just happened between us." Jes says "Absolutely."

Then Jes leaves the room. Once outside the door, Jes pauses for a moment and says "Hairless" before teleporting away.

The next stop is Elision. He teleports behind the door that Elision is in. The door is unlocked, so he enters the room. There he saw Elision looking at the mirror in a weird flashy outfit while doing some poses and saying "Pure pure heart beam". Jes can't help but say "What are you doing?" To which Elision pauses for a moment, turns her head and becomes beat red. Then she shouts "DON'T LOOK!" as she pushes Jes away.

After a while passes, Elision opens the door and says "Come in." Jes does so and then he sits on a chair and Elision keeps standing. Jes asks "What was that all about?" To which Elision gives a dark aura as she says "What was what about?" Jes picks up the meaning behind what Elision is trying to convey, so he just says "Nothing. I came here to apologize about my past behavior."

Elision stops giving a dark aura and says "I figured as much." Jes says "Again, I'm truly sorry for how I acted. I wasn't really myself back then and I'm trying to fix what I damaged." Elision says "Fine, you are forgiven." Jes then says "Thank you. I…" But Elision stops him by saying "But, you will have to go on a dinner with me some time. Just the two of us." Jes says "Absolutely." Elision "Says, that's a promise. You may go." Jes starts to leave, but before he does so, Elision says one more thing "You saw or heard nothing." To which Jes just replied "YES!" and teleported away.

The next place to visit was Diane. He teleported next to the door she was just coming out of and he said "Hey Diane." Diane is startled and quickly closes the door. Before she closes the door, Jes noticed something pink and fluffy in there. Then Diane says while sweating "Jes! What are you doing here? In my house?" Jes says "Yes. I came here to apologize about what happened back then. I wasn't in the right state of mind for so long that I made you all distance yourself away from me. I'm sorry."

Diane says "Fine, I forgive you. Just… offer me some great food once I next visit." Jes says "Absolutely." Diane then adds "And it better be free for the next few times." Jes says "As you wish." Then Diane says "Good. And… you didn't notice anything behind that door. Are we clear?" Jes says "What?" And Diane asks more threateningly "Are we clear?" Jes just responds "Yes" and teleports away.

The next person to meet is Iloton. He goes to the place where he feels her presence, and once he is there, he notices something that he wouldn't believe if he didn't see it himself. Iloton was playing like a kid with other kids, speaking in a childish tone while smiling ear to ear." After a while, Iloton noticed Jes just standing there in disbelief, she told the other kids that she had to do something quick, and came to talk to Jes.

The other kids talk amongst themselves "Who is that?" "It must be his dad." "Didn't she say her parent wasn't here?" "It must be complicated."

Meanwhile Iloton and Jes talk. Iloton starts "What are you doing here?" Jes says "I came here looking for you so that I can apologize. But then I noticed you playing with kids and I just… I don't know what to say. I mean you are immature, but you are leagues older than them so…"

Iloton says "Iloton enjoys what Iloton enjoys. These mortals are marvelous entertainers so Iloton spends time with them. You said you came to apologize to Iloton? Iloton refuses." Jes says "Come on. I'm sorry that I threw you away. You know that I wasn't acting like myself. What if I give you a whole bunch of sweets?" Iloton says "Iloton refuses."

Jes was in disbelief once again. Iloton refusing sweets? Has she finally grown? Jes had no option but to sweeten the deal. He said "Fine. Week long of sweets. How about it." Iloton starts wavering, but still she says "I… I refuse." Then Jes says "Two weeks worth." Iloton shakes her head sideways and Jes says "Three weeks worth." Iloton still shakes her head sideways. Jes is sweating and says "Mo- month's worth." Iloton then says "Iloton supposes that it will suffice. Fine. Iloton will forgive you and accept this offering. After Iloton is done playing with these mortals, Iloton will go tell Lili, Nilo and Elis about this and then come back to the inn.

Jes says "Thank you. Now… go and have fun… I suppose." Iloton smiles and says "Iloton will." And she starts running back to the other kids.

Then he goes to see where Eve is. She is out doing some quest for the adventurers guild. He goes where she is and she is just about to take on a young red dragon. Jes watched from the side to see how it goes. In the end, Eve comes victorious. Jes starts to clap and this alerts Eve for a moment, until she notices that it is just Jes. She says "It's just you. What do you want?"

Jes says "I came here to apologize." Eve says "For what?" Jes says "For not taking proper care of my customers and acting all emotionless." Eve then says "Fine. I'll forgive you." Jes says "Thanks, I…" But then Eve says "Just be sure to give me something worth the hassle." Jes thinks for a moment and says "How about a weapon of some sort or a book that teaches some things about magic?" Eve says "Both. Both are good." Jes asks "So which is it?" Eve says "Both." Jes stays silent for a moment and Eve repeats herself "Both." Jes then relents and says "Fine. I will give them to you the next time you come and visit." Eve says "Okay. I finally got my base back." Jes thinks "Couldn't you keep staying there even though I was an ass? Whatever." Then Jes teleports and goes to see Bellum.

Bellum was in the adventurers guild and once she saw Jes, her mood changed to a worse one. Once she was in the talking distance, she said "What do you want dad?" Couple of people were surprised by the word "dad" since she and Jes didn't share almost anything with each other in terms of looks. She was a bit taller than her mom thanks to Jes, but that wouldn't be relevant to this moment since Polemos wasn't there.

Jes said "I have come here to apologize." Bellum said "Apologize? After what you did to me?" Jes is confused and says awkwardly "I… ignored you?" Bellum says "Yes. You ignored your own daughter. That is unforgivable." Jes takes a moment to process what's going on before saying "I… wasn't myself back then. Now I won't ignore you and I will chat with you while you drink." Bellum says "Not good enough." Jes thinks for a moment and then says "I'll… give you a night full of free alcohol?" Bellum smiled and said "Now you are talking my lingo. Do that and I'll forgive you." Jes stopped caring and said "Sure. I'll be there waiting." Then he leaves.

Now the only one left was Aia. Jes dreaded this since she was… well, Aia. He found her shopping for essentials and walked up to her and said "Hey Aia. Can we… ummm… talk for a sec?" Inside Jes is screaming "Why are you so awkward?!" Aia answers "Sure let's go to that restaurant that offers outdoor eating." Jes says "Sure" and they go there, look at the menu, order, wait and then receive their food.

Jes manages to get out "I apo…" But Aia is quick to respond with "I forgive you." Jes is surprised and says "I didn't…" Aia continues "I know what you were going to say. And I know you were going through a rough patch after the incident. You made some mistakes and made people leave. And now you are on a mission to apologize to everyone. Am I right?" Jes says meekly "Yes. You're absolutely right."

Then Aia says "Then there is no need to worry. Just eat and let's chat. I can tell you about what I've been up to this past year. You can… well… listen and comment on it, I guess." Jes then said "Yes" But then Aia said "Just…" She rises from her chair, gets close to him and tries to put Jes's face smiling. She says "Just… smile again. You have a sweet smile. Well sometimes." Jes then tries to smile and it's a bit awkward. Aia laughs and says "You don't have to force it. Just… when it comes naturally, don't hold it back."

Aia sits back in her chair and then starts telling what had happened to her this past year. While she was speaking, eventually Jes regained a genuine smile. He thought to himself "Even if you will be gone again one day, small moments like these, they make me think that life might be worth living."

Meanwhile in the other corner of the world, a god known for evil things thought to himself "This feeling. It can't be. Am I being... forgotten?"