Innsmouth.

"Welcome to the port city of Innsmouth!" Announced Sirius as soon as the world stopped spinning.

Since they needed to take the Doctor's TARDIS with them, they couldn't just Apparate to England - hence the Portkey. They were used when a Witch or a Wizard needed to teleport a long distance.

They came in all shapes and sizes, from a regular old boot to a diamond. So everyone could enchant an item that was convenient for them. Of course, because of the relative ease of manufacture, their usage was controlled by the Ministry of Magic. The main part here is "was."

Azumi and Midoriya stayed home to treat their respective hangovers, and Gin was with her family. So their team consisted of one human, one Time Lord, one Homunculus/Wizard, and one cute Catgirl/Witch. Luna and Sirius landed on their feet but Doctor and Rose were not so skillful, the Time Lord and his companion fell face first in the sand.

"I'm not impressed." Rose muttered and rose from the ground.

"Making a tear in space so sloppy! Even Jack could've done better!"

"Oi. If not for this Portkey, we would now be meeting Giran to buy fake papers. And also the documents for the transportation of antique police box that should be in the museum."

Sirius patted the TARDIS on the side to emphasize his point.

"So how do we find our Fish Lord?"

"We don't. He will find us. The noseless bastard put a Taboo on his name during his first Reigh of Terror. Of course, the spell only works in England, but it even plays into our hands."

"We just have to call him." Rose said in disbelief. "No, it can't be that simple, it's usually much more difficult. It just doesn't make any bloody sense!"

"You need to accept that the world isn't always trying to kill you, Rose Tyler. Although you're wrong in thinking that it's going to be simple. You still need to fly into the mouth of a fish that is hundreds of times larger than your dead Ship."

Luna skipped over the sandy beach to the sea and sniffed the air. The catgirl immediately frowned and looked back at Sirius.

"Siri, can you feel it?"

Black immediately activated his enhanced sense of smell and sniffed the air as well. The smell of sea salt, rotting fish, wet sand, and even the smell of engine exhaust. But what shouldn't be here is electrified ozone. The scent of used powerful Magic.

"Shit. Luna, why didn't Dumbledore kill the Dark Lord when he had the opportunity?"

"He said that Tom deserves a chance for forgiveness and stuffed his soul into the body of a carp. Then he sent him to the North Sea and told him to catch him every hundred years to see when he got better."

Sirius stared blankly at his girlfriend.

"Are you serious?"

"No, it's you, silly. But it's true."

"Wait a minute, carp is a freshwater fish!" Doctor said. "Has that old coot gone completely crazy?"

Sirius responded without being distracted from the Wards he was placed around the site of the future battle. They don't need witnesses of what will happen now.

"If you didn't get it from the books, then I'll tell you now. Dumbledore went crazy after his sister died. At least I think so. Albus could not bear the weight of the very thought that he or his lover Grindelwald killed Ariana. I think he became a manipulative bastard at that very moment."

Sirius walked over to Luna and handed her the Elder Wand. The girl took it without question and nodded. Black had a Magic Core five times larger than even Dumbledore had in his prime. Luna, on the other hand, had only twice the Core of Dumbledore, but it still had a huge amount of magical power.

They decided in advance that Sirius would "start" the TARDIS, and Luna would lure Voldemort out. Someone might say that this is illogical since Sirius was an Auror in his past life, but this someone missed one important detail.

Luna Lovegood hunted down rare animals all her life. And the Fish Lord was a rare animal.

Sirius returned to his original form and kissed his girlfriend deeply - it seemed rather strange to him to kiss her while he looks twenty-five.

"Sirius Black, you just did the most clichéd thing of your life." Luna said wistfully when their kiss ended.

"Heh. I think the most cliché thing was when I defeated the Dork Lord with the power of love."

Sirius turned and looked at the Doctor and Rose, who was standing outside the TARDIS.

"Well, as soon as I "resurrect" her, Luna will immediately call the name of the Dark Lord and we will take off. I will feed the ship with Magic until you fly into the stomach of the bastard and then I Apparate away. The death of the noseless one should provide enough energy for you to return to your universe."

"If we go back to our universe. I still don't know if I can set up the TARDIS correctly." Doctor grumbled. "This girl is even older than me, which is an achievement in itself."

Entering the TARDIS, Sirius looked at the Doctor with interest.

"Really? How old are you?"

"Nine hundred and four years."

"Huh, you're almost twice my age."

Rose coughed and turned her head sharply towards Sirius.

"Are you four hundred years old?! I thought you were just thrown here after you died at eleven!"

"Meh. There were a couple of things that made my life even stranger than it was."

"You know, if I find a way to safely travel between universes, then I will definitely visit you." Doctor said suddenly. "I will probably have to burn a couple of stars every time I travel, but it's worth it. I don't often get to talk to such interesting people."

"You make me regret that I wanted to blow your head off when I first saw you."

Sirius opened the panel of the TARDIS that gave access to the heart of the ship and put his hands on it.

"Wait, what?"

"And here we go!"

Black's hands were covered with red lightning that turned to gold as soon as it came in contact with the heart of the ship. TARDIS came back to life and light flooded the vast chamber.

"Hahaha! She's alive!" The Doctor shouted in joy and began to run around the panel and press buttons, pull levers, and even sometimes beat his priceless ship with a wrench.

TARDIS could move again.

Luna smiled as she heard "Wroomp, Wroomp" coming from the ship.

"The song of the universe. . ." She muttered and steeled herself. "Voldemort."

An inhuman scream was immediately heard from under the water. The water surface was covered with ripples and in a minute a terrifying celestial appeared from the Sea.

Voldemort looks like an octopus, a dragon, and a caricature of a human form in different parts of his body. His body was green and his face had countless tentacles that covered his terrible mouth. Its clawed paws drooped down to its knees in stark contrast to its rudimentary wings. Luna flinched at the thought of what he could do if he could fly.

"A Witch. One of my kind came here to meet her death?"

He didn't speak any language the catgirl knew, but she could still understand the Dark Lord- no, the Dark God.

"I came here to catch a small carp, but I found a large octopus. Can you show me where carp can be found here?"

With an innocent smile, she pointed the Elder Wand at the terrifying monster's face.

"You didn't lose your mind when you saw me. Interesting." He replied completely oblivious to the TARDIS as it slipped into camouflage and began circling his head.

"It's hard to go insane if you're already insane."

Fiendfyre in Thestral form flew out of the Elder Wand and slammed into the chest of the Old God. But he didn't even react to it and raised a huge amount of water around him.

"You will be a good addition to my Magic."

The water turned into hundreds if not thousands of ice needles and flew with incredible speed towards Luna. The girl did not stand still and Apparated to the side avoiding the deadly hail. She frowned at the fact that her normal Magic fire had done nothing to this creature.

She transfigured a huge ballista from a fallen tree and a second later, a huge bolt flew right into Voldemort's eye. But he just brushed it aside as if it was a fly. The girl again had to Apparate and this time she sent Avada Kedavra directly into the skull of the Dark God. He just laughed and took the spell that bounced off his scales and flew into the sea and went under the water.

"Well, if that doesn't work. . ."

Luna's body was covered in fire and she grew in size to the size of Voldemort. In place of the little silver-haired catgirl stood the twenty-meter tall goddess of fire with cat ears and a tail. Her body burned with a blue flame and burned all the moisture around her.

Luna said nothing and threw a roundhouse kick into the monster's jaw, sending it flying towards the border of the Wards. He rubbed his seared jaw and stood up from the water.

"You are strong, young Witch. But you are no match for a God in the flesh."

The tentacles from his chin increased in size and became razor-sharp.

"I just need to find your real body in this sea of ​​flames."

Dozens of tentacles attacked her body and cut the fire, but Luna did not react. She hit Voldemort with a right hook, but Voldemort was able to dodge and knee the Fire Goddess's stomach. This time, she reacted and used the opportunity to rise higher into the air and send a wave of fire into the monster's face.

At the same time, in the TARDIS Doctor cursed in words that even Sirius had not heard in his long life.

"He covers his mouth with tentacles! We're just wasting our time!"

Sweat filled with pure Magic fell into the heart of the ship from Sirius's forehead. He could not afford to be distracted from his task.

'Come on, little moon. I know you're smart.'

Luna ignored Voldemort's tentacles, her body now consisted of pure Magic, the only way to kill her was to extinguish the fire.

Voldemort gathered more water around him and a huge iceberg formed above them. It immediately flew down and shattered into million pieces when Luna hit it to the side.

The Fire Goddess jumped on the overgrown octopus and threw him into the sea, evaporating all the water around her.

"I can't get you to open your mouth, but I can open a way into your stomach."

Luna hit Voldemort's head on the bottom of the sea and while the Dark God was trying to gather his wits she ripped his stomach open with her claws.

"SHE OPENED A WAY!" Rose cheered.

The only reason a completely ordinary girl hasn't gone mad is because of the protection of TARDIS. The ship knew the fate of the Bad Wolf and couldn't let her become a vegetable.

The doctor immediately directed his trusty ship into Voldemort's black, bloody stomach. The TARDIS landed inside with a sickening crunch and Sirius was finally able to Stop pouring Magic into the ship. He breathed heavily and just glanced at his new friends.

"Goodbye travelers. Oh, and guys?"

Rose and the Doctor looked up from the screen and looked at Black, who smiling slyly.

"Just fuck already."

The last thing Sirius heard when Apparating from the TARDIS was the ship's disapproving "Wroomp."

He landed on a small mountain from which it was perfectly visible how the blue Police Box begins to disappear from this universe. Luna crushed Voldemort's skull with her huge hand and the TARDIS was finally able to draw enough energy to pass through the barriers of reality.

The Fire Goddess roared in celebration of her victory and began to shrink. Siriuslayd down and just looked at all the steam she created.

"England will become even more rainy than usual."

Finally, Luna Apparated beside him and fell on his chest. The catgirl was sweaty and panting, but that didn't bother Sirius at all. Although her body was made entirely of magic, it was still heating up every second. So the longer she uses this form, the more likely she is to burn herself alive.

". . . I didn't expect the power of the Goblet of Fire to be like this."

Sirius hugged her and patted her on the head. The warmth of her body kept him warm, which in cold England was a definite plus.

"What did you expect? That I would just shoot him with a twinkle from my hands? That would be silly." She giggled and leaned at his touch. "What are we going to do with his body?"

The water has already begun to absorb the huge celestial and carry it into the depths of the sea.

"Let someone else deal with this. I want to sleep."

Two teenagers, completely drenched in sweat, fell asleep in each other's arms on the sandy beach. The only thing that disturbed them was the sound of fallen Wards and the smell of burnt flesh.

Not everything was calm in England but Innsmouth was much quieter than usual.

---

"Oi, you runts! Wake up!" The old voice woke Sirius from their well-deserved sleep.

They just destroyed the worst Dark Lord of all time and sent two people back to their universe! Give them a break!

"What do you want, old man?" Sirius asked, opening one eye. "We're not bothering anyone, so leave us alone."

"Ha! All sorts of tourists come here and then climb onto the beach of death. And then they dare to ask me what I want! Try to help people after that." He grumbled. "Night will come soon, and with it the biting cold. If that's not enough for you and your lass, then people started disappearing here a couple of months ago, so I advise you both to run home."

"Is it so late already?"

Sirius looked at the setting sun and sighed heavily. During all this time, Luna didn't even flinch, the form of the Fire Goddess took too much energy.

"Yes, you Sherlock Holmes! Now get out of here before the horror of Innsmouth takes you both."

The old man turned and walked away, leaving Sirius and Luna alone.

"What would Grandma Hermione think of them? Such irresponsible children. . ." He muttered to himself and headed towards his house. Harry Granger's grandkids were still waiting for him after all.

Sirius, meanwhile, created a Portkey from his shirt, which led directly to his bedroom. He hugged Luna tighter and activated it, moving them to their destination.

Both bodies fell onto the soft bed and this finally woke the cat girl. Her left ear twitched and Sirius scratched it, making Luna purr in pleasure.

"Mmm~ Oh, right there! Jasmine, you're good at this."

Sirius grinned.

"Should I worry what you think of the Grim Reaper at a time like this?"

"Nope. But you have to admit, she gives the best head pats."

The green-eyed teenager nodded silently. He couldn't argue with that.

Luna sniffed the air and frowned.

"We both smell. Siri, take me to the bath."

Sirius kissed Luna on the forehead and struggled to get out of bed. Only now did he realize just how much they both smelled.

He did not even bother to go to the baths on the first floor but only pressed the runes that were carved next to one of the doors. The room inside changed to a huge bathtub and Sirius went inside, carefully holding Luna so she wouldn't hit her head.

The rune cluster he used was a stripped-down version of the Room of Requirement but still served its purpose. Unfortunately, the room could only take the form of a shower or his Alchemy test room.

Sirius put Luna on the edge of the tub and wanted to turn around, but realized that she didn't let him go.

"Nobody said you could leave."

Black just looked at her feline eyes and smiled. If the little moon wants something, she gets it. Whether the world likes it or not.

---

Hero Underwater Explorer was panicing. He was doing a quick patrol around England as usual - his Quirk allowed him to swim at a crazy speed and breathe underwater - when he discovered something strange.

Usually, he would find one or two boats that went the wrong way, sometimes they were smugglers, but never in his career, he had seen THIS.

The half-burnt, crushed and gutted body of some half-man, half-fish was being eaten by hundreds of sharks and other sea creatures. Black blood was still flowing from his wounds and Underwater had to use all his will not to vomit from the scene in front of his eyes.

He immediately turned on his walkie-talkie and the camera on his shoulder. The Hero Association needs to see this.

[Under? You found another one-]

"THERE IS A FUCKING TWENTY METERS DEAD MONSTER AT THE NORTH SEA!" He shouted. "GET THE HEAD OF THE CLEANING TEAM HERE AND TELL THE BLITHERING IDIOT TO BURN THIS ABOMINATION TO HELL!"

This incident in the newspapers will be called "Death of Leviophan" and everyone will be horrified to guess who - or what - could have killed such a monster.