She reminded her of her past self.

Doesn't that mean colonel liang is her mom? As far as zayne remembered, not once did he see the colonel show some warmth towards helen. But why? why be that way with her own daughter? He carefully skimmed through the other pages, and indeed the man's name is not present in any of the passenger's list. He closed the file and passed it back to helen, he observed that she sat as far away from cristina as possible, judging from the way azriel is staring at cristina, he knew az noticed it too. Helen continued to eat in silence, clutching he file in one hand. She didn't so much as look at him when she took it back. The silence around the table was grating enough that cassian leaned forward and asked

"So what are we doing today?"

"Let's head over to the study room after we eat." zayne answered.

"Oh right" rose said suddenly. "The estate is so lovely. If you finished eating, give me a tour, will you?" helen gulped, just the thought of roaming in this estate made her nauseous, but it was hard to say no when rose's face looked so bright, so she nodded. Rose stood up beaming. Helen turned to cristina and said

"The pen drive is in my suitcase, take it with you to the study room." cristina nodded, without looking up from the food, so helen left without another word.

When everyone except for him and celeana left the dining room, cassian demanded

"What happened at the airport?" there was not even a subtle shift in her expression, she knew this was coming from the moment she collapsed at the airport.

"Headache" she replied nonchalantly. He snorted

"You think I don't know that ? what I'm asking is when did you start having them again?"

"A month maybe?" she said, uncertain. At first the pain was bearable, but ever since she decided to go on this mission, the splitting headaches started again. Every night, every fucking night she had an episode, she barely managed to sleep over the last few days. Cassian put his fork down, his face hard.

"You aren't going for the therapy aren't you?" she went still for a moment before eating again, her expression neutral.

"Why would you think that ?"

"Because, I've seen the difference. You don't used to get such pain when you went for therapy, but back then when you weren't able to go because we were on a mission...I've seen how it affected you." she rolled her eyes

"Don't jump to conclusions so fast, cassian. Do you think rose would've let me off the hook if I didn't go?" his pursued his lips. Damnit, he's not believing her. But he was right, she wasn't going. she lied to rose every time she asked about therapy. But celeana despised going there. She despised that doctor, the talks, the relaxing exercises he taught her to quite her mind. They helped her, when she attended the therapy sessions, she never once had headaches but she deserved the pain, deserved every ounce of pain she got, so she would bear with it. She'd bear with it her whole life.

"A quite mind is what she needs" cassian said quoting the doctor's words back to her "what's going in that head of yours? what are you thinking about celeana?" she didn't answer but instead asked

"Why do I feel like you are interrogating me? I already told you i'm attending the therapy sessions." she said, getting up and walking over to the sink. She heard him snort as she washed the plate.

"Like I'd believe you" fine then, he can go to hell.

"Careful cassian, any more questions and I'd think you actually care about me" she commented, turning around. He walked towards her, carrying his plate. she moved aside letting him wash the plate.

"You absolutely don't need to worry about that because, I don't make a habit of caring for mindless idiots." she glared at him, with his lips curved in to a lopsided grin, he left the room.

She exhaled a sigh as the door closed beside him. It was always a battle of words between them. But at least cassian doesn't pester her as rose does. But somehow it is exhausting to lie to him because he sees through them so easily. She knew he didn't believe a thing she said, but still he would just smile and leave her alone.

She shut her eyes and leaned back on the wall. Its fine if she lied to them, she told herself. She's going to leave them anyway. Lying to them is better than them knowing the truth of who she was and despising her. Would rose even look at her if she find out who celeana is? She swallowed the lump in her throat, and opened her eyes.

Remember why you are here celeana, she told herself. She's here to find out if he was really involved in it, that's all. Finding that out is the only thing that matters right now.

* * * * *

"Wow" rose exclaimed when she saw the garden in the backyard. Helen had to agree that the garden was beautiful, though no one had lived here for years, the workers still managed to keep the manor pretty neat and beautiful. Once, this garden was her favorite place where she used to play with her dad. but now as she looked at the plants and flowers covering the whole backyard, she only felt numb. Her eyes landed on the sitting area in the middle of the garden, she remembered sitting there, talking with her dad while her mother fed her snacks. Now she snorted at that idea of a happy family.

"Why do you look like you want to flatten this garden?" rose asked watching helen. Helen just shrugged and said

"I don't like gardens much" rose raised a brow.

"So? you want to flatten this whole garden?"

"I never said I wanted to flatten it" rose smiled and turned around, and her gaze fell on the closed doors beside the garden.

"What is that over there?" helen gestured for her to follow and walked towards the room.

"This was actually used as a store room but I told them to clean it out so that we can use it as a training ground." she said pushing open the doors.

"Oh my god" rose muttered when she entered the room. The room is the size of an auditorium and weapons lined the entire left wall. She walked closer to them to have better look. All sorts of knives, guns, some kind of steel rods, arrows ....wait arrows?

"Who uses arrows now a days?" she asked, confused. Those arrows aren't even made of wood, they are made of iron. She took one out. oh, it's heavy she thought.

"I do. Kinda gets in handy when you want to make anyone unconscious." helen said coming up beside her. A little laugh escaped her.

"You know how to use them?" helen nodded.

"Teach me, will you?" she asked her tone eager, and excited. Helen tilted her head

"You want learn? why?" rose shrugged

"I think I'd look cool using them?" her lip's twitched.

"You want to learn it to look cool?" rose grinned and placed the arrow back in the shelf. Turning around she put her arm around helen's shoulder. Anyone else in her place, helen would've chopped their arm off but as she looked at rose, maybe it was because she reminded her of her past self when she cared about nothing else and enjoyed everyday like it was her last, she kept silent.

"Half the things I do in my life are to look cool" helen's lips curved up a little. Rose is so similar to cristina, she thought but while cristina is kind and easy going, rose is bold and energetic. But they both had a way of calming people down and lifting the mood. Rose dragged her towards the other wall where several towels are neatly placed in a shelf, having looked through them already, she instead turned towards the fridge beside the shelf.

"So many drinks, weapons, towels, makeshift clothes...you really arranged it all well." helen crossed her hands.

"Tell that to cristina, she's the one who arranged all this."