She had to die.

Helen had a face that could rival every actress in their city. Everytime he looked at her, it took his breath away and it unsettled him. No one had such effect on him and that too unsettled him. He looked at her firmly clasped hands. He recalled that day, when colonel liang came to the grounds helen dug her nails in to her hands so hard they drew blood, he could see those marks on her hands even now. He wondered what history they both had. It was obvious that helen respects her but what he didn't understand is that why she looks so pained every time the colonel is mentioned. his gaze again found her face, looking at her like this he could almost forget her snake like tongue. Almost. He turned away abruptly, as if afraid he'd do something he'd regret if he looked a little longer.

* * * * *

Terror gripped celeana as they walked out of the airport. She's here. she's really doing this. she wiped her sweaty palms on her coat. what if he recognize her? what if he ask her why she left? what would she tell him? No this isn't right . she can't do this. she can't face him. she shouldn't have come here. She looked around frantically, she could hear others talking but their words barely registered over the roaring in her head. she need to get out of here. but where would she go? she had nowhere to go. she had no one in this world who would care for her. pain shot through her head blinding all the thoughts. shit. not now she thought, helplessly. but the ache only increased and she stood frozen on the spot, her bag slipped through her hands and she clutched her head tightly willing the pain to stop. but the memories came roaring back again, haunting her, crushing her will to live.

she is a traitor, a betrayer, a person like her should rot in hell, she killed....killed so many peop---

"CELEANA!!!!!!"

someone's calling her name but their voice felt miles away, she felt trapped in her own thoughts. The more she remembered her past the more her pain intensified. but she deserved it, this pain, this torture, everything, she deserved every fucking thing. she hated herself, hated herself so bad she wanted to die. she had to die

"CELEANA"

she had to die, she had to die because she's an as----

"Open your eyes CELEANA!!!"casisan screamed.

her eyes flew open, and she stared in to cassian's eyes, he was shaking her, calling her name frantically and she could see others now, standing behind him, she could see rose kneeling beside her. she looked down at her hands, they were trembling badly. Gods, she was on the floor. People are staring at her, probably wondering if she was crazy. A mess, she was a fucking mess. she looked up to find cassian still staring at her, his eyes wild and concerned. She didn't know what he found in her eyes because his expression softened a minute later.

"Its alright" he said softly. but its not, celeana thought silently, shutting her eyes against the rising tide of tears. it would never be alright. but she was here and there's no going back now. So celeana shut those thoughts off, buried them deep inside her until they were nothing more than an annoyance. She opened her eyes and stood up, her face turning unreadable as always.

"I'm alright" she said her voice firm. but they were all still looking at her. she felt suffocated under their eyes. So she said again nodding at them

"Its just a headache. Let's go" they nodded and turned ahead. She sighed in relief and she felt rose squeeze her hand, she gave the barest of squeeze in return and started walking again.

* * * * *

Helen's heart beat wildly as they neared the sprawling estate that was once her home. After the thing with celeana, they all hailed a cab and hurried over. Surprisingly celeana got in to their car and rose followed, leaving the men to get in to another cab. She sat in the front seat preferring to sit alone through the journey. Now as they neared her home she wondered again if it was a mistake coming here. The car came to a halt and as she opened the door and stood in front of the manor, her body and mind went numb, she barely registered the others getting down, barely even looked at cristina as she came to a stop beside her.

cassian came up behind her, letting out a whistle.

"When you said you had a manor, I thougt it was just a farmhouse or something." slowly she turned to look at him. He grinned and teased

"You call this type of thing an estate helen not a manor" when she just continued to stare at him numbly, cristina dug her nails in to helen's hand snapping her back to the present. Helen just gave him a tight lipped smile and turned back to the manor. Just as she raised her hand to push open the looming gates, she saw someone open the main door of the estate. She froze. A old man who is well above his 50's walked over to them, his steps hurried.

"Didn't you say the manor's going to be empty?" zayne demanded.

"I did" zayne clenched his jaw at her nonchalant answer and asked

"Then what the hell is he doing here?"

"My question exactly" helen said, her gaze fixed on the man walking towards them. Zayne finally lost his patience.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he hissed. helen whirled to him and growled

"Do I look like I'm kidding zayne?" his face went red with anger but helen turned away from him, pushing open the gate, she stalked towards the man. He froze as she came to stop before him. He bowed his head and greeted her

"How have you been madam song?"

"Don't you fucking call me that" she growled. He flinched at her words but kept quite.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she demanded "Didn't I tell you to empty the manor?" she asked. helen felt the others walking over to them. The old man's face looked troubled. He looked up at her and indeed there was fear in his eyes as he said

"Miss song we are ordered to report to master if you ever came bac---" but he stopped when he saw that helen is not listening to him. Helen's eyes fell on the car that was parked behind the water fountain and when she recognized whose car it is exactly, every thought eddied out of her mind. Anger bubbled inside her as she remembered how she was abandoned. A lethal calm settled over as she turned and snarled at the old man

"Why the hell is that car here?" the old man took two steps back from her instictively, but managed to utter

"Master's here mad--" but helen caught his collar not caring that there were others looking at her, not caring that he was a lot older than her.

"Who is here?" she asked, her voice low and shiyu heard it then, that dangerously low note in her voice, like the absolute calm before the storm.

"Ma---Master" he whispered. Helen pushed him backward, he stumbled.

She laughed, as if she heard the best joke in her life. zayne stared at her wondering if she really lost her mind. Then her eyes hardened and there was not an ounce of warmth in it, not a hint of the person zayne knew. this person, this song lin, he didn't know her. Helen then turned to the old man and sneered

"Go tell your master, I'm not alone, I'm sure he would appreciate the warning." the old man spared them a glance and hurried back to the manor. She finally turned around and looked at them. Her gaze was cold and calculating.

"There'll be someone inside the house but you don't need to greet him nor do you need to talk to him. Your rooms are upstairs, cristina will take you there." she paused and looked at zayne "I'm sorry for this disturbance, I'll make sure he'll leave within 5 min" zayne stared at her, dumbfounded. Did she just say she's sorry? But helen was already turning away from them. She looked like she was going for war.