-5-

It's a month now since Baba passed away, thought it was less until I was handed my first stipend today. Usually, I would go and spoil myself and buy something sweet and heavy but today I won't; I'll have cake on Irish'sh birthday.

Baba used to bake our birthday cakes at home but we discovered this little shop called Caika. It only sells huge half meter by half meter square cakes that are incredibly tasty, insanely delicious, ridiculously mouthwatering!!! And it's so fluffy you'd think you're eating the clouds. All that with the reasonable price of $79.99. Baba and I would munch on it for days after sparing some pieces for our neighbors.

I do hope Irish and the girls won't mind how simple looking and plain the cake is, it's just cake and crème. They write on it with frosting, there's no fancy chocolate plaques or anything.

Maybe I shouldn't have suggested getting the cake… but it's too late to change my mind now; I'm on my way to pick it up.

As instructed by Irish I'm going straight to her home. I thought the bus ride was difficult but now I'm holding 2 boxes; one on my head of a huge pretty heavy cake and another of a gift I got. I know she said no gifts but I saw some things that reminded me of her, I just had to buy them.

The bus doesn't go farther than the university so I'll have to walk 2 blocks and I hope I make it without dropping anything.

My arms and lower back were throbbing as I placed the 2 boxes on the pavement once I got to Irish'sh wooden gate to catch my breath. I just wanted to sit… I laid down instead. I can't do this anymore!!! I'm not gonna do this!!! No!!! NOOOOO!!! How dramatic… NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! AND I DON'T SMELL NICE ANYMORE!!!

"I thought someone died or something" I opened my eyes and there was Jack, "what happened?" he helped me up. I can't stress how hot my cheeks and ears feel right now…

"I'm just tired, it's okay" like I can play it cool now!

He took both boxes off the ground and waited for me. I glared at him and took the gift box from him and noticed a decorated mailbox to my right. From my pocket, I took the envelope I planned on giving Irish with the gift and dropped it in it. I always wanted to try that…

"The mailbox is locked!" I said staring at Jack and then at it when I realijed I couldn't get my envelope back, "I dropped my card there!" My voice cracked.

Jack laughed, "Iris got the key, just tell her the card is in the mailbox."

"Oh, okay" he stopped to smile at me then shook his head and lead me in.

"Did you walk all the way here carrying this?" He smirked at me, I nodded. "Very impressive" he did look impressed. "Don't know if you smell nice anymore, but you do look nice." I laughed on the outside yet my insides started to boil.

Through the glass windows I can see everyone's there already looking lovely. The living area looks the same, only a bit of decoration is up.

We walked in and I was smothered in a group hug. While I told myself I may never get used to hugs, Jack took the cake out of the box and laughed then asked everyone to come check it. I froze in my place and my hand was on my heart just waiting for them to ask me what was I thinking? That this is the ugliest cheapest cake they'd ever seen.

"HA!" Danielle yelled at the sight of the cake…

"It says Irish!" Juicy said with a chuckle pointing at the cake, Blue on the other hand was laughing harder than anyone, "Happy Birthday Irish!"

"Oh…" I feel like an idiot right now, "this explains the interesting! the guy uttered after I'd told him what to write" I gave a toothy smile, "sorry" I went red.

"No, this is perfect" Irish was beaming, she looks happy today, "you're SO in charge of the cake on Jack's birthday"

"You got it" I laughed along and I could hear Jack saying: "only her can call me that."

We gathered around and sang to her, in keeping true to the cake everyone's words were Happy Birthday Irish. There was usually only the sound of Baba and I singing at the top of our lungs. But right now sitting here on the ground almost huddled around the cake, I thought to myself maybe I didn't have to feel like I lost everything when I lost Baba.

There was one plate with a knife and 6 forks on it. Danielle gave each one of us a fork and Irish took the knife and cut a big corner, took the first bite and said "O'Mag'ga so goog!" Then we all dived in.

They LOVED the cake so much! How the bites they took grew bigger and bigger made me so happy and relieved as if I were the one who baked it.

"If there were donuts here, I'd be torn" Blue said after she swallowed. Everyone was talking with a mouthful.

I used to put Baba's gifts on his nightstand when he was asleep and wouldn't dare see him until he'd opened it, reacted and the hype was all over. I couldn't ever face someone with a gift I got; it's very nerve wracking to me. Now the gift I got Irish is nowhere to be found… I'll ask Jack about it once I've summoned the courage.

"Tell me if you needed anything I can grab on my way back" Jack told Irish on his way to the door, "Um, Bliss?"

"Hum?" I answered half unaware, half shocked; I knew I heard my name but I thought he called Dani because she looked at him too.

"I didn't get the seatbelt fixed yet but like the last time, I'll drive carefully" he said and was on his way out. I think he just said he can take me home again… but I can walk to the university's bus stop, without the cake it would be way less excruciating.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY IRISH" he yelled from outside.

"But only her can call me that" she pointed at me and smirked at him.

Juicy walked to the door and locked it behind Jack. She looked at me and clapped her hands quietly with such a weird smile. It looks suspicious what's about to happen.

"Initiation time!!!" Juicy and Danielle shouted simultaneously.

They both took each of my hands and sat me down on the other side of the living room. Irish followed us with a laptop and Blue behind her. Irish gave Juicy the laptop and they all sat around me just beaming with excitement.

Juicy started asking me super weird detailed questions, gave me options to choose from and I answered. She said it was crucial to answer as honestly as possible.

"Drumroll please" Juicy ordered and Danielle delivered.

"My god! You guys!" Juicy squealed, "Our. First. Ever. GRYFFINDOR!!!" She read the qualities of those who get into Gryffindor and nothing matched what I am. They emphasijed so much on members of this house being brave and I lack in that department. It did boost my confidence a little being told I could be that deep inside.

They clapped and congratulated me, it was so celebratory and loud, I felt like I'd won something. Juicy then told me Danielle was a Ravenclaw, Blue was a Slytherin and Irish and her were Hufflepuffs.

"But the initiation isn't over" Juicy said so dramatically, "From Blue you receive a silver donut pin." Blue stuck the pin on my shirt and said everyone's got one. "From Iris you receive a Green notebook." Irish gave me the note and said it's both green in color AND is made of recycled paper. "And last but not least, you get a magnetic banana from Danielle." Dani gave me the banana and said she didn't have anything to add like everybody else.

"That wasn't like a thing we do" Juicy said, "we just realized we shared these things with each other already at some point and wanted to include you."

And before I could say anything lost in words I couldn't find, Juicy thankfully got excited and thought this called for a Harry Potter marathon starting today. No one seemed to mind.

We watched a movie in class once suggested by a student, it was her favorite movie. I remember no one enjoyed it because she kept saying the lines before we heard them and ruined whatever suspense the movie was supposed to provide.

Juicy on the other hand was the quietest one, she looked at the screen and reacted as if she didn't know the movie by heart.

It's quite fascinating how one can love something or someone so much. It's like knowing a person to the moment they become predictable but still allowing them to express themselves in a way you already saw coming.

In the middle of the movie Danielle's granny called her and she went outside. She kept the door ajar and I could see her holding the phone close to her ear.

Turns out her granny suffered from dementia. Her memory comes and goes but when it comes, she likes to call Danielle to tell her a story, any story.

Dani says her granny tends to repeat her stories, but she doesn't mind listening again and again. She says living at home would've been a lot harder and more depressing if it weren't for her granny.

Once we finished the first Harry Potter Movie, Juicy and Danielle woke Blue up and said their goodbyes and headed to their hostel. I forgot it was a school day, I too have work tomorrow. It was me and Irish, I asked her if I can check her library.

"I told you, consider yourself at home. Do whatever you want! Even grab my car keys and go for a ride, it's fine just don't ask" she said but joined me in the library a few minutes later. "I don't want to be alone, though"

There were many books of different languages, I saw Great Expectations and held it since it's one of the few titles I found familiar.

"One day I was reading that book and Juicy was wondering how Danielle was evil and thoughtful at the same time," Irish started holding a laugh, "I blurted out, she's thoughtful against her will, against aloofness, against despise, against weariness, against all the feelings she didn't intend to convey. Dan loved it so much she put it on a tee shirt" she looked proud.

"Ever shared anything you've written?" I asked feeling like she should; she spends too much time writing.

"Umm, no never shared. I don't write deep stuff; I write steep stuff. I start good and think I'm going somewhere with it but before I know it, my words fail me and whatever meaning they were supposed to deliver would crash and burn. I'm just a consistent writer, not a good one."

"One day you'll know for sure you're good and you'll be quoted, probably on more tee shirts because you have passion."

"Thank you!" Irish beamed, "I love hearing this."

"I'm glad" I said and remembered the card I dropped into her mailbox! "I know you said you don't do gifts but I got you something" I smiled nervously, "it's not really a gift just a thing that reminded me of you."

"Something reminded you of me already!" she smirked.

"What?" I said, "you initiated me already!"

She laughed, "what is it?"

"Well, Jack got hold of it…" I said unsure, "well, I think! But I know where the card is… I dropped it in the mailbox by the gate" I grinned feeling silly.

As I was about to feel embarrassed and started preparing a logic answer for when she asks but why did you drop it there? Irish looked like Oprah just told her she's getting a car!

"I GOT A LETTER?" She yelled and pulled my hand then ran me to her room where she picked her massive keychain and then even faster she took me downstairs.

She pressed a button and opened the gate before we reached it and ran to it. We got to the mailbox and she stood there looking at me then at it with the biggest smile. This is honestly my favorite smile I've seen. She looked for the smallest key and held it.

"Finally." she breathed.

Irish opened the mailbox and got my card out. It's a little yellow envelope topped with a red ribbon; I just had to use a ribbon. She took my hand and sat on the pavement, I sat next to her. She read it out loud:

"Dear Iris," she read and laughed, "hey you spelled my name right!" She teased and continued:

"I thought I'd get you these because… hope!

Your balcony shouldn't stay empty.

Bliss."

"It's a box containing a dozen different shapes, sizes and colors of laundry pins" I said awkwardly; I wasn't sure she'd know what I meant… but she knew egjactly what I mean; her eyes got filled with just enough water to make it sparkle and she hugged me.

"Thank you" she said, "it's cold huh?"

"Is it now? Feels, okay to me" I said, "wanna go inside?"

"Yeah, I'm freezing actually" she said, on our way back she told me how this weather makes her feel: "whenever it is this cold I imagine my guy whoever he might be would put his jacket on me… just like the movies."

"I really love the cold, if a guy put his jacket on me I'd feel offended" I said and she laughed, "I wouldn't mind if he held the door open for me; I hold the door for people so that would be fine… I would mind if he pulled the chair for me; I wouldn't pull a chair for him" I said and she nodded.

"True that" she said and we sat on the ground by the glass waiting for Jack in the living area. "I knew plenty people I wish I hadn't known" she said abruptly.

"I can imagine people being around people for their money" I said thinking being friends with someone solely because of their money is the worst thing that could happen to a rich person.

"Yeah, but they were rich and just hanged around me because I am too" she was looking at the front gate, "one saw me getting off the bus once and slowly cut me loose when they started coming up with theories of how my dad must've went broke and they included my mom and his wife" she sighed, "they just needed a reason, they didn't like me to begin with."

"They never use the bus? It's the best!" Sometimes I just talk what I think without realijing it's not related to the point expressed… but Irish followed through.

"I love the bus! I even have a bus pass!" she said proudly, "sometimes I go to the station and get a ride to the university, then I would sit on the bus stop and watch the passersby… when I get tired, I simply call Zach to pick me up"

"I'd love that ride!" I said enthusiastically.

"The girls' exams are coming up; they usually don't have time for me when they're studying. Come by and we'll go on rides! Longer ones!"

I said perfect and the wooden gate opened up and I saw Jack's car. It's just a coincidence but my mind is for some reason playing over and over how perfect it was the timing of me saying perfect and him emerging. There were 3 moments in my life when everything was perfect.

The first perfect moment was seeing a shooting star reflecting of the mirror Charlie and I held together.

The second moment was, one time when I was climbing down the stairs of our building super slow. It was because I wanted to try the Kinder Surprise but didn't know how I could afford it, and I would never ask for money from Baba; he didn't always have some to spare.

Once I took the last step Baba was running out of breath calling my name, he asked me to wait. I looked up and he was about 4 storeys above.

He took a piece from a smashed marble step and crumbled a paper around it, yelled heads up! And tossed it. It fell right next to my shoes and he said: "Because I love you" and started climbing up to our apartment. The paper he crumbled on the little piece of marble was a $10 bill… I didn't get a Kinder that day because they ran out of it but it was okay.

"I'll just be a minute" Jack walked in and went upstairs. He disappeared for a matter of seconds then came back with my gift. "Here you go" he handed it to me and Irish knew what it was. I gave it to her and she said she loved the wrapping. Jack asked me if I wanted to leave or stay but I need to be home; I didn't wash my uniform yet.

Irish squeejed me and wished me a goodnight. I looked at her smile and decided it's okay to be hugged, it's okay to get attached as long as I don't get to lose her, them.

Jack opened the car door for me, I got in and reached for his door and opened it for him. I looked at Irish and she was laughing at me.

"Are you really asleep?"

I opened my eyes and to my right was our building. I looked to my left and Jack was looking right at me…

"I slept?"

"Yes for the second time, I'm that boring" he smiled.

"I'm sure you're fun, I just wouldn't know" I joked and he stopped looking unamused, "goodnight."

"Goodnight Bliss." Again, he made sure I was inside the building before leaving.

The third perfect moment in my life was when I was in school, a pigeon pooped on me. My teacher called Baba to pick me up early. He was still on duty so he came in with his ARAMEX van.

The school's already provided me with another uniform but Baba didn't know. I still remember the look on his face when he rushed inside to give me his shirt to change into while he was still struggling to zip up his jacket on his bare chest.

He looked at me all cleaned up and laughed looking at his shirt. He said my hair was still smelly and it could be why the school wanted me out.

We delivered a package to one of the big houses downtown but the moment we stood in front of it, the air smelled of something I've never smelled any place else.

The owner let us in; he saw that I was with Baba and asked if he could show us inside. The smell grew stronger and more perfume-y as he took us to the backyard. There was the most extravagant bouncing house yet introduced to my sight.

The man signed on Baba's clipboard and asked me if I wanted to stay and play. "The company was supposed to come take this away hours ago, we called and they said they'll be late." The man said and pulled a chair for Baba, he sat on it and waited as I was jumping and rolling around. It was scary at first, but once I got the hang of it, it felt like the best time of my life… especially when I knew back then Baba didn't care for me that much.

When do I stop smashing my nose on doors?