Chapter 1

Some extra information in the auxiliary chapter should you be interested

Dude…

DUDE…

DUDE! wake up, the teacher is calling you!

"Hmm?" The fuck man I'm trying to sleep, I think to myself, lifting my head to complain as my sluggish mind slowly comes to life, turning my head only to come face to face with my roommate, Nathaniel, also known as nat, the prick I've been sharing a dorm with for the last year.

"The fuck do you want nat." I mumble at him, my tired mind not yet ready for conversation, as I slowly untangle myself from my sheets, Hair falling in front of my eyes as I do so.

"I want you to wake the fuck up so we can talk, Its been 2 months now and you still arent coming to class, my excuses can only hold so long and the teachers are getting on my back."

"So?" I ask. Now before you ask, yes I am completely aware of what's happening, I just find his suffering amusing, yes i'm an asshole, no I won't stop.

"So? I'm not covering for you anymore so either you come to class or you fail."

"And?"

"And? This is important, You've already dropped out of your other classes and if you fail this one too you'll be held back a year to finish your credits, You know what, I don't care anymore, If you fail it's not my problem, Just don't expect me to help you anymore." he says as he storms out of the room likely to go drink with his friends. No we don't hate each other, but we arent friends either and I know he's only doing this to get the teachers off his back.

"Yeah yeah. Not like I'll live long enough to see it" I mumble as I force myself out of bed, my muscles complaining at the movement, now I'm sure you're all wondering oh great voices in my head. "What's going on here" well my magnanimous self shall explain it to you, my humble name is Sebastian, yes I know "Victorian butlers name hahaha" It stopped being funny for a while now, but anyway that's not what's important, im currently 19 years old and studying at mit for a degree in physics, material science, chemistry, and computers, and despite being an a+ student and top of the class up till now, for the last 3 months I haven't been going to class. Now let me clarify, this isn't out of some sense of superiority and thinking I'm too good for school, but as some of you may have guessed to some capacity due to my earlier mumbles, I was recently diagnosed with brain cancer, and unfortunately it's well past the point of saving. Now I could have sucked it up and continued my life like normal but I'm not ashamed to admit I'm not motivated enough for that, and being to much of a pussy to tell anyone, I decided to simply spend the rest of my life doing what I love, reading, playing games, and watching copious amounts of YouTube, one of my favorite pastimes is watching science videos like kurzgesagt and veritasium, but I'm just rambling now. Anyway it seems like no one will be just letting me be anymore so I guess it's been long enough, see, you might think it's insane, but ever since I was a kid I've never really been all that attached to life, I wasn't suicidal, but if I died I would probably just be like "damn that sucks" and not really care, so when I heard I was going to die? Well, I started planning.

Now I may not be some super genius like you see in movies but I definitely pride myself in my intelligence, and since I'm studying chemistry, well let's just say with the right tools it's not so hard to refine some cyanide, so here I am now, sitting on the edge of the roof, in my favorite clothes with a small pill in my hand.

Oh wait forgot about it in my introduction, but can't leave out the cliche, see I'm a 269 centimeter jade beauty with luscious long hair and beauty that makes men and women fa- "PHAHAHAHAHAHA, god, No I can't." But more seriously im an average looking dude, 189 centimeters tall so pretty decent, not as bulky as the guys who work out, but not in terrible shape, not fat not skinny, and have an average face, long blond hair that reaches my waist, (fuck you I like it long) and blue eyes, the stereotypical aryan, but with long hair. I'm even part austrian for fucks sake (no im not a N@zi). all in all not a terrible look, but definitely not model material, but let's get back to the point.

Cyanide is a very interesting substance, people commonly have the misconception that a poison is more powerful the faster it kills, but cyanide is actually a relatively weak poison but kills fast, while botulinum can kill a man if they ingest less than a billionth of a gram but takes weeks to kill, when I was a kid I was always interested in it, what I found most interesting is how it kills so fast, I was aware of the mechanism, it binds to the proteins in your mitochondria preventing the prediction of atp, but shouldn't that still take a while to kill? Like shouldn't the cell last a while before it dies, and shouldn't it take a while to reach your critical organs? Researching it was difficult as a kid, I couldn't look it up without every result being suicide hotlines and therapy after all, but whatever, now I know better, ok seriously, back to the point now.

As soon as I became aware of my imminent death I began to prepare for my suicide, you see, I can't stand the thought of spending the last few months of my life bedridden, not able to do anything by myself, And existing as nothing but an endless pit of money as they quite possibly go into debt in the futile bid to keep me alive for just a bit longer, and so I decided, as soon as I can't live on my own, or someone tries to hospitalize me, I was going to end it, becuase I know when I get to the hospital, I likely won't be allowed to die that easily, I know they are just trying to help people, but personally I think sometimes it's better to just be allowed to die, and as such I have everything planned out, a lethal dose of cyanide, a series of timed pre recorded calls and messages to let my friends and family know what happened, but only after I'm dead, it might seem cruel, but I'd rather this than watch them cry at my bedside and waste all their money or god forbid go into debt just for me to die anyway, so this is my decision.

And so I sit here, contemplating my life for a while, surrounded by bottles of alcohol, see I've always been quite resistant to alcohol, takes quite the amount to make me feel anything, and

I'm a bit of a coward see, even if I don't fear death, I don't how I will actually react once im on the brink of it, as sun tzu once said, the ones who say they don't fear death, are the first to beg for their lives, maybe, idk. But I can't have myself changing my mind can I, so I decided to use it as some help ya know, take the edge off, "haaaaaaah" I sigh, I know all of this is my mind trying to delay the inevitable, the human mind is both a magnificent and feeble thing, talking to voices is new you see, always had them, but I've never really talked to them much till now, "damn I really am going insane phahahahah!" Haaaaa, I feel bad for my family, what an ungrateful son I am, I hope they can forgive me, and with that thought I pop the pill in my mouth and bite down on it before my survival instinct can kick in, it takes a good moment, not like in the movies, but then a sudden pain, and I fall to the ground, And the world around me slowls to a crawl, damn this hurts, I chose cyanide because it was supposed to be fast, but I guess you can never know for sure unless someone survives death to tell you, {Affirmative, Perfect simulation acquired}{Affirmative, Survive Death acquired} The pain is unreal as I wait for death, I feel in agonizing detail as my cells shut down along the path the cyanide travels {Affirmative, Pain resistance acquired}{Affirmative, Cellular control acquired} Im aware pain is a necessity for our continued survival, it tells us when were injured, Where, and how, its rare but some people are born without it, and few survive their childhood. {Affirmative, Pain resistance upgraded to pain nullification}{Affirmative, Bodily understanding acquired}{Similar skills detected, {bodily knowledge} combines with {cellular control} to create {bodily control}} adrenaline hits me like a brick, and damn is it strange, I've experienced adrenaline before but guess death really is different, I can feel my thoughts stray, its always interested me how chemical compounds have such a profound affect on our minds and personalities, If only we could control it, I could make exercise and tedious tasks actually feel rewarding. {Affirmative, Personal Mental Manipulation aquired}{Similar skills detected{personal mental manipulation} combines with {bodily control} to form {Personal Manipulation}} I can feel as my mind begins to slow, if only my mind was like a computer, I wouldn't be distracted by these random thoughts all the time, and it would be oh so efficient, I love efficiency, if only things could be perfectly efficient, and we could recycle energy perfectly, maybe we wouldnt have to worry about entropy! {Affirmative, computing mind acquired}{Affirmative, Thought control, acquired, {thought control} combines with {Personal Manipulation} to form {perfect personal manipulation}{Affirmative, Energy control acquired}{Affirmative, Conversion efficiency acquired, {Conversion efficiency} combines with {energy control} to form perfect energy manipulation} I've always wanted to control myself better, some may find it strange but I find the idea of changing everything about me from my gender to voice at will endearing, if only I could.{Affirmative, Shapeshifter acquired, {Shapeshifter} combines with {Perfect Personal Manipulation} to form {omnimorph} combines with {Survive Death} to form {Omniform}}ah that makes me think of matrioshka brains, a beautiful megastructure encompassing a star focusing all of its energy into powering the largest computer conceivable, with the waste heat from each layer turning into energy for the next, truly the embodiment of efficiency, where not a single joule of energy is wasted. {Affirmative, Matryoshka mind acquired, {Matryoshka mind combines with {computing mind} to form {Thoth, God of Knowledge}} and then my world fades to black.

(Author note)

(The mc can NOT hear the voice of the world yet, hence why they had no reaction to the notifications, those are purely a readers aid, and yes I know rimiru could in the original but with how I'm writing my character even dying making the connection between thoughts and the notifications is easy, and even if they didn't believe in reincarnation, they would still make absurd requests, just in case, and I want my mc to be op, not omnipotent.)