Steven Universe: What's your favorite color?

Okay, I don't think I need to start this story with an epic beginning, a long and mysterious monologue, or just "let's start from afar" and so on. Let me be blunt, the whole story, written with my hands, and I have two of them, and I'm great with both of them, may seem to you rambling, crazy, insane and many other synonyms for these words, the main thing is that you understand.

This story, the story of my life, at a not so great time in my life. As you know, everyone has ups and downs in life, and in my life it was mostly downs. Very painful, leaving scars that scarred but did not heal.

Falling, it hurts, it hurts a lot. But I'm used to it now, and I know a few life facts about how to make falling less painful, but that's for another time. Get it? Concentrate on the fact that my whole life is one giant fall into a deep hole that has no end, no light, and I'm flying in it all the time, all the time.

And I'd keep going if one day I hadn't had a crazy idea that I still sometimes regret and sometimes remember with rapture... ..... but that's later.

I think we should start....aaaaaah, almost got me! But no, we won't start from a distance, but from the beginning.

From my birth.

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-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

-God, shut that kid up! All he does is shout and shout!

-Heh-heh, he sounds just like you when you shout.

-What did you say?! Do you want to get it?! Don't look at me now, I'm strong enough to hit you in the face.

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

-Ma'am, he's hungry, you have to feed him. Otherwise he won't stop crying.

-I know! I don't need you to tell me that!

And just like that, I was born. Loudly, to the screams of the adults, my parents and the worries of the doctors at the maternity hospital, who were worried about my future in such a family from my very first breath on this earth.

I was a small, fat and slippery baby, just born into the world. And all I wanted to do was eat, which I did, sucking on my new-found mother's breast.

-Hey! He's biting! Don't you have special tools for that?! Why do I have to feed him?

-Ma'am, your milk is good for the baby's body. It improves the immune system and... ....

-Ah, forget it. You're going to have to explain everything to me again in your incomprehensible language. You should have told me you were too cheap to hire a nurse with huge breasts.

And after a hearty breakfast, accompanied by my mother's angry screams and my father's hoarse laughter, I fell asleep....Only to wake up alone the next time, in a white room with no one in it.

I lay alone on the hospital bed where my mother had lain some time before.

It was the first time in this world that I realised that all people are assholes. Well, figuratively speaking. Of course, a one-day-old baby couldn't think that far ahead, that's me now, just remembering things as they were, still I have an excellent memory.

All I could generate in my head at the time was: "Agu-goo-goo", or translated from baby to human, "Where's Mummy and I'm hungry".

And when a baby is hungry, of course ....

-AAHHHHH! AAHHHHH! - starts to get attention.

After a few minutes of screaming, I was discovered by the doctors on duty, abandoned by my own parents and left to my own devices. Things might have turned out differently if I had been placed in an orphanage, where I, so sweet and small, would have been taken in by a lonely, a family that does not have the opportunity to conceive a child

But instead..... I was taken back to the people who gave birth to me.

The doctors were able to find my parents to give me back to them. And it never even occurred to the doctor what would happen to a child who had already been abandoned once?

Of course he will be abandoned a second time.... and a third time..... and even a fifth time. I've been dumped in many places and I sometimes wonder why I talk about it in such a calm way when I tell it to you and to others.

In fact, I know why.

Because people are assholes and bastards, who hate their own kind. As long as I've lived, I've seen so much of the pissiness and bastardism and toxicity and festering in people's faces. It just made me sick, especially in my teenage years.

Add to that the hormones....mmmmm, story for later.

Anyway, my parents tried to get rid of me many times.

They threw me to other families.

Put me in an orphanage.

Left me in a dumpster.

Dumped me on the edge of the woods and many other things from my early and deep childhood.

Once when I was 6 years old, they left me in a supermarket, saying "Stay here, we'll be back soon" and then they left. I stayed.... and lived there for about a week. Alone, without adults, living and hiding in a warehouse and stealing food.

After a week, they came back, completely forgetting that they had left me here. And what was their surprise when I ran out to them and they got a huge cheque like that for all the goods I'd spoiled or eaten.

Anyway, they tried to get rid of me in many ways. Good thing it didn't go to extremes, like attempted murder. They could not afford to do that in a visible way, but they could leave a child behind and throw him away in the forest.

You've probably already imagined the picture, haven't you? Well, now let's picture another one, namely the portrait of my asshole parents. Let's start by telling them one thing they have in common and by which. They must have been the ones who decided to get married.

Both of them, were alcoholics. Liquor enthusiasts who couldn't go a day without a glass in their hand or a cup in their stash. In some circles they would have the title: "The Masters of Drinking", because I had seen them drink more alcohol than I had ever drunk in my entire life.

Also, they loved to smoke. Oh, they loved smoking. Two or three packs a day for one of them and the whole house smelled like an office building smokehouse. The whole house reeked of tobacco, smoke and their foul breath. I was tolerant of alcohol, but cigarettes, I hated them. They made my nose smell tobacco smoke and I started vomiting because of it.

I despise cigarettes and everyone who smokes them. Just looking at them puts me in a bad mood and makes me not want to communicate with others. Such was my peculiarity, which made it quite difficult for me to start a new relationship in high school. No big deal.

I didn't really want to be friends or go out with pompous teenagers who raged about their hormones, either. I was freaking out too, of course, but I tried to control myself as much as possible by not showing emotion and trying not to express anything. A defense mechanism that had saved me many times.

After all, if people can't see your emotions and what you think about a certain subject, they can't take advantage of you. Take advantage of your weakness and use you as their slave.

But enough about that, let's go back to my parents. By the way, you know what they were..... right, they were assholes! Just checking to see how you were listening to me.

All my life, 18 years, I never once saw one of them go to work or do anything but drink. I didn't understand where they got the money for all that. They had their own house, groceries, if they gave me money, expensive tobacco, expensive wines and other alcohol and nice clothes.

At one time I began to suspect that they were secret millionaires and were just living the chorus, spending their money. But that was not the case, they were just spongers who used words competently to get another wad of money.

And so I lived like that, with great disappointment for life, for people and for my future, which was fucked up as it was, with that kind of life. But one day, I decided to change everything! I decided that I had had enough patience and had to take action!

If you can't change yourself. No one can. And so, I did something that still gives me enormous pleasure and a fraction of the fear. Exactly the idea I was talking about earlier. No one knows about it except you and me, so keep quiet and don't tell anyone.

The idea was simple but brilliant in its own way.....

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-Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhh.... it was harder than I thought it would be. - I wiped the sweat from my forehead and sat down on the floor. - For their age, they were pretty nimble. Well, that didn't save them from a little bit of iron in the body.

I sat on the tiles of the kitchen floor and stared contentedly at the realization of my idea. As I said earlier, I was a very unstable but very intelligent teenager at that age. So, I solved the problem in my own way, with a simple flick of my finger.

-Good, now we need to get the play ready. - I got up and walked over to the sink and started scrubbing my hands. - I didn't know we had so much fluid in us, although they tell us that quite often in biology class.

After wiping the blood off my hands, I took my weapon and scrubbed it just as thoroughly, much more thoroughly than my hands. Still, I didn't want to leave any fingerprints, let it all turn to ashes very soon.

-Good, knife in place, hands clean, now for the petrol. - I clapped my hands together and went to the garage to get a respirator and some petrol.

I carefully stepped over the bodies of my dead parents, who I'd stabbed with gusto while their bodies wriggled from the rat poison I'd put in their food. It was pure pleasure to watch the life fade in their eyes and there was nothing they could do. It was... beautiful.

I stepped over their bodies, trying not to step in puddles of blood, and headed for the garage. Yes, they even had a car, quite fancy and stylish by the way. And I still didn't understand where they were getting the money for all this.

-Mmm-hmm, mm-hmm, where's our petrol...ah, there it is! Almost missed you, handsome! What would I do without you!

I put on a respirator and started pouring gasoline all over the house, trying to get into every corner of the fucking house! I literally poured it all over the ground floor, but left the second floor untouched, as it would collapse anyway, once the first floor started burning.

-Okay, final check. - I stood in the hallway and opened my backpack. - Food, check, clothes, check, cash, check.... basically everything is in place, we can get started.

I took off my respirator and tossed it over to the bodies of the ancestors. Opening the matchbox, I slowly took it aside and lit it. The flame that ignited on the match was the beginning of my new life.

-It's true they say, the flame cleanses the soul and the body from all sins. - I smiled and let go of the match. - I hope you cleanse yourselves well, you bastards.

BANG!

A burning match and a whole bunch of gasoline, guess where it leads to? A BIG FUCKING FIRE! HUGE FUCKING FIRE!

The whole house burst into flames like the lights on a Christmas tree. The surroundings filled with the smell of burning and a huge amount of smoke coming from the open windows of the house. The panes of glass immediately began to crack and shatter.

-Fire! Fire!

-Call the fire brigade, quick!

-Oh, my God, what happened?! What happened to the Barnett family?! Why isn't anyone coming out?!

-Hmmmm,that's a lot of people. How hilarious.... - I smirked and threw on my hood and walked away.

As of this day, I was officially declared dead, in the fire. The entire Barnett family had died in their own house and no one had ever figured out what had happened. Two bodies of adults were found in the extinguished house, but the body of a teenager, the Barnett couple's son, was never found.

And just like that, I started my new life. I put the past behind me. Burned it all to the ground, literally, and was reborn..... I never introduced myself.

I'm Isaac Barnett, nice to meet you. Drop my last name, 'cause I don't have it anymore. From now on I'm just Ike, a vagabond who goes wherever he wants and it's a lot better than living in that house.

And it seems to be just a story with an interesting beginning and perhaps an interesting future. Yes, it is. But it won't be another dumb story about getting into another world, getting powers from "the god who accidentally killed you", having a harem just because you are, NO!

No! I will not let my story become that story! No way, no way! And you know where my story starts? After the fucking prologue, of course?

By entering another world... if I may say so. Because after one chance encounter, my entire world, was brazenly destroyed, and on the remnants of the past world, a new world was erected.

A new world that has taken over not only my mind, but yours as well. After all, you're reading this, which means you know what's coming next, don't you?