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So What if I Failed as a Hero?

The protagonist was once a force enough to destroy the world when he’s younger, but now, he’s regressed to a day-to-day worker! How the hell did it end up like this? Follow our ugly, and annoying MC on his misadventures to the path of redemption! Well… I’m not forcing you… but maybe I can scam you by adding an annoying, rowdy cast! Tell me, aren't you enticed with that summary? Hmmm… no… who am I kidding… let me do it again… since that doesn’t sound too enticing... In a world where Superhumans are revered as saviors (and idols), our protagonist was once standing at the pinnacle. But that was when he’s younger. Now, he’s a forlorn part-timer working multiple jobs to make ends meet. He’s also out of shape, and doesn’t look the least bit like the world-beating Superhuman he once was. What happened here? Follow him… uhhh… I don’t have a name for him yet… in his misadventures towards the path to redemption! Even if he’s still armed with the ridiculous power of his youth, he still has to get his life together! Throw in a cast of misfit idiots with dumb powers, and his annoying tale is born! ~~~ I'm just a random gorilla studying in the city, shitposting is my daily hobby, but it seems like I've picked up another. Anyway, come one, come all, I'm selling my supply of bana— huh? No way!!! You won't get even a banana peel from me! If you can bear to take this virtually annoying ride with me, I welcome you. (Drop your stones, I like being stoned... OF COURSE I DON'T LIKE IT!!! I'm a collegiate gorilla, my mom will kill me by stoning!!!) Arigato?! Special thanks to plumber with a red hat. Cover is a free to use stock photo.

Konkey_Dong · แฟนตาซี
เรตติ้งไม่พอ
20 Chs

Backstories that last more than a chapter are always hated

The man seemingly disappeared from the two's sights. Their jaws dropped as even the sound and trace of footsteps in the rain vanished for a second.

They only saw a bolt of lightning light up the night sky, before the man reappeared a little over ten meters away from their trembling backs.

The bag Juan is holding though— which is filled to the brim with containers of leftover fried food— was snatched. The two didn't dare move as if they have a God of Death behind their backs.

For the next few minutes, only the sounds of munching and raindrops could be heard in the soaked alley.

The silence was broken by another lightning bolt, that streaked over the darkened Manila skies. The two held their breaths, only to find it strange that the munching had stopped.

Then, like a horror game jump scare, the two shrieked, as an arm each was suddenly over their shoulders. Oh, plus a smiling killer in the space between them.

"Damn, those fried dumplings are legendary! Plus the fish balls, the calamari, the kikiam, and those… whatchamacallit quail eggs in some orange batter… that's batshit delicious! What do you call those, tell me, come on!" The raindrops this time seemed way slower than the spit firing from the man so obviously wounded before.

"Wh-what are you?" Elder brother John absolutely is about to go insane. Never in his hungry mind would he think that a wounded calamity will suddenly appear out of thin air, and decapitate five in cold-blood. Never would he think, that the very same man, would steal their leftovers and now ask them what the fuck is the name of the quail eggs in orange colored batter. This is too much!

He just wants to scam his little brother of his money!

He doesn't know whether to laugh or cry!

"Locally… uhh… it's called kwek-kwek…" Juan uttered seemingly out of reflex as his eyes remained unfocused.

"Kwek-kwek… huh. This shit's delicious. Makes me wonder if there's a bigger version of this. Hehe, but that dish is for another day. For now, let me come with you two." The man in the middle smirked, his look without any regard to the bloodstained alley. "Well, I can just throw this thing to those bandits and be on my merry way."

The two stared with eyes wide as the man threw his bloody cloak to the headless bodies, also making sure to pick out a jacket that still seemed a little too tight for him as replacement.

"You." He said pointing to the smaller Juan. "You cooked that legendary street grub?"

"Uhh… yes… your Highness…" Juan answered hesitantly. The fact that this guy can remove five heads in a flash most likely means he's a Super, right? This is the thought that is slowly taking over the younger man's head.

"Damn… you should be the one called your Highness! You should know that being a Metahuman, or a Superhuman, or whatever those idiots call us doesn't mean we're any higher or better than you guys! I can't cook kwek-kwek, heck I don't even know what the fuck that is till you told me! That automatically makes you higher than me!"

I'm not gonna lie, I'm starting to like this backstory version of the main character…

Juan couldn't help but break out in tears. The next thing he knew, they were fleeing the scene, helping out this ruthless, yet likable Super.

The blood trail he's leaving behind continued being washed away by the rain. Until finally, a moment came when even those had stopped. The superficial wounds have patched up. The stench of blood is gone. If only the poison inside is too...

A quarter of an hour was all it took for him to get to a state where he can walk without the awkwardness one would feel when several body parts are aching badly.

A quarter of an hour of their leisure walk towards an eat all you can buffet restaurant, was all it took for him to basically blend in with the brothers.

He kept his vigilance, because he knew his assassins were still in the same city, looking for him, wanting to turn him to mincemeat.

But he won't allow them to get any clue of how he's doing whatsoever.

"Here, go pick any of those. We can't have you running around with us while your pants have a lot of holes. And well, go clean up your bloodstains a little…" John offered him several bucks to buy a pair of pants, in a little detour towards the restaurant. Of course they have their reservations, what with a guy that can slice their heads off clean in a single strike this close to them. But there's only a single thing that they know: they don't have a choice.

"Woah. Didn't expect any of this. I wanted to just rely on my power to cover up everything and it will be enough." He said he didn't expect it but he snatched the money right as John finished his words.

The rain intensified the entirety of the time the Superhuman was buying a pair of jeans. He came back out to the amazement of the two, "Why the fuck did you buy shorts?"

"Well, duh. Even if I wear pants, it will be soaked anyway! So I went with something comfortable!" The two can't actually argue with the logic.

The trio then went back out into the rain. Since the traces of blood on the MC's body are now all covered up, it made him look more ordinary.

A few minutes later, they entered the crowded buffet restaurant John had been salivating the whole day for. Juan readied his wallet for the two of them, until he realized there is one more person with them, which is salivating the same way as his brother.

"Why are you starry-eyed too, you idiot? You think you'll get to eat for free? What are you, my third brother?" Juan exclaimed.

"Hello there, my third brother, today your second brother Juan will treat us!" Of course, how can John let his younger brother off easily? He had to vent too!

Shaking his head, Juan just gave up. "Fine. You saved us today anyway. Though we don't know much about you, and you ate all my leftover food, I'll treat you to a meal."

The shameless bastard MC jumped in joy. "Thank you, elder brother! I promise I'll tell you a whole load about myself later! Itadakimasu~~~!"

The brothers got to know this mofo quite a lot in the two hours they spent eating and talking. They asked him if he really is a Super, which of course he is. They also asked him what the hell's his deal when he suddenly appeared out of nowhere. He answered that with a shameless, "Is it alright if I tell you the answer once we're close enough? 'Cause I'm gonna force myself in your lives from now on."

What a bastard. Especially because he actually did what he said.

***

A few minutes after leaving the clothing store.

"God fucking dammit! You had one job! How can you lose him! How is it that the Three Great Trackers lost track of a badly poisoned man? Now what? We allow that bogeyman to roam the city streets once more? Do you remember what happened the last time he did? Huh? Mission's over! Everyone except you," the angry man holding two swords pointed one on a veiled dog-like creature, "Get lost!"