fourteen

"Bee, It's not like-" He started but I cut him off.

"Get out of house before I fuck up your face. I don't think I can control my anger like before."

It took all the strength in me not to fall apart and cry out in front of him but as soon as the door closed behind him I collapsed into Hyun 's shoulders. I felt my knees give out and he quickly sat down with me on the floor. I curled up beside him and my heart started beating like never before.

It was like water gushing out of a waterfall onto the stones. I cried and quivered and whimpered and shook and sobbed and screamed, everything at once. Young-Jae removed Hyun from around me and scooped me up into his lap instead. I could tell all the boys were worried but right now I needed to let go of everything I had been piling up inside me. He cradled me like I did that night and kissed my head, my temple and my cheek repeatedly.

"I'm right here you know, I'm gonna stay here always to tease you." I chuckled while crying at his lame attempts to make me laugh and he released a shaky breath too. Jake came around too and soon enough me and all the boys were in a group hug.

"See, we're all here. We'll be here only."

That's what they all say, every time.

You gotta prove it.

"Bee, are you asleep?" Young-Jae asked looking down at me, I closed my eyes even more tightly and pretended to be asleep. You see, actually after crying and group hugging for a good 20 minutes my eyes were burning so I closed them and apparently they thought I was asleep but it was just around nine. I hadn't had dinner yet so I thought of something I could do to get both cuddles and food.

"Pasta," I mumbled trying to act sleepy while clinging onto Young-Jae's shirt.

"Come on we all know you're not asleep." Seok-Min said chuckling sweetly. I opened one eye to see Seok-Min crouching down. Young-Jae shook me in his arms and I immediately realized that I just got too soft that too with Young-Jae. I quickly got up clearing my throat, awkwardly coughing after and fixing my clothes. Young-Jae chuckled loudly and my face turned red with embarrassment. They all laughed together when I covered my face with my hair turning away. Young-Jae cooed at me and I glared at him immediately shutting him up.

"You little cat, don't act like you didn't cover me in saliva by your kisses." He coughed awkwardly and I laughed along with the rest of the boys.

I took Jake's hand and he seemed confused so I point to the bottle of oil.

"So, uh, you guys get dinner ready, I'll put oil in Jake's hair and after dinner, you show me your new clothes, kay?" Seok-Min nodded and the others said 'yes' and got to work. I sat on the couch and Jake sat between my legs. I checked his hair again and squeezed out some oil in my palm putting it into his hair. He sighed in relaxation as soon as I started massaging his scalp and let his head in my lap loosely. I smiled and continued massaging his head.

"Bee? You good now?" He asked softly, almost whispering.

"Yes, Jake, I'm absolutely okay. I was just a little overwhelmed, you know how much he means to me." I replied massaging his nape and shoulders a little.

"I know. You don't have to care that much y'know, you keep caring and loving people who don't do the same, Why do you even do that?"

"I don't know, I just feel safe myself when I'm taking care of someone because when I focus on loving somebody, caring for somebody it just makes me feel protected knowing that those who I love are warm and safe, I got it from mom. She used to make sure everyone is okay all the time. I'm the same, I get anxious when my family- I mean people I love, get hurt but these days I feel so sick of it. I mean I keep on trying and people just keep on running me over." My voice wavered a little and I could feel my tears coming again.

What the fuck? Was this some kind of tap that just opened? I wiped them quickly and tried to massage his head again but they just kept coming again and again. Jake seemed to have noticed my little sobs as he quickly turned back and hugged my waist tightly.

"You wanna take care of people? Take care of us, we're stable, we're not going anywhere, It'll take time but we could learn to take care too."

I could do that.

"Look at us, we're all struggling too but just like you, we love each other, so much that it hurts when they get hurt, when you get hurt. It's too early but some part of us loves you already. You're the girl we never knew we needed in our lives, our clothes folded and in their bags, the oil in my hair, Young-Jae hyung's cockiness disappearing, all of them doing things you told them to, we're already used to listening to you and it's just been a fucking week. Love us, care for us, not one inch of you would regret it. Ever. It's a promise," He said looking at the boys working in the kitchen. I followed his gaze and there they were, furiously working just to transfer pasta into bowls and plates.

I could do that.

I could get used to this.

"Bee, dinner's ready, wash your hands and come. Also, how do you open this ketchup bottle?" Nathan asked trying to open the bottle with such force that I just knew it was gonna burst open. As soon as it bursted, I laughed a little at his guilty face and quickly got up from the couch pulling Jake too.

"Min-min can you get me an ice cream too?" I asked trying to act innocent using my best puppy eyes. He looked at me with hard eyes and I make a funny face at him. We were on our way to the beach, at night, because apparently there was some bacteria or whatever that Nathan told us was very pretty at night and he wanted us to see it. Now, we're all stuffed into Seok-Min's SUV while Young-Jae got off at a store to buy snacks and I wanted ice-cream so yeah. We spent the whole day looking for Jullie's details and any background information but no luck yet.

"Bee, don't force me to beat your ass up." He said massaging his temple, smiling discreetly.

"Okay kitten, I'll stop now. Get me chocolate ice-cream, quick, go!" He rolled his eyes but went on anyway. I grinned looking at him grumble while walking off. A throat was cleared on my side and I looked away from his back, raising my brow at Hyun .

"You've developed quite an admiration for Young-Jae Hyung, does somebody have a crush?" He asked nudging my sides.

Yeah, a huge one but no.

I didn't even need light to know that I'm blushing.

"No, he's just fun to annoy. That's it." I said, Seok-Min looked at me from the driver's seat through the front view mirror and I stuck my tongue out to him. He smiled that fond smile I was getting too used to and then blowed me a kiss. He had been unusually quiet the whole way here. Jake was with Trevor and Kyle at the back and I was sitting with Hyun and Young-Jae in the middle while Seok-Min was driving and Nathan was in the passenger seat.

"Hey guys, how long till we reach?" Jake asked for the 100th time in a row. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Ask that one more time and I'll tell Trevor that you're the one that took his favourite flip flops. Oh sorry, I just did that," I gave him a fake smile and he gasped.

"You fucking Duck! I should've known it was you." Trevor said and we all laughed out loud.

"Hey, that's not an appropriate place to touch people!" Kyle screamed and I laughed again.

"Oh my god, people might think you're crazy," Young-Jae said getting in the car handing me my ice-cream. I took the opportunity to see everyone kind of occupied so I quickly leaned into his ear and pecked it once.

"As a thank you for the Ice-cream, I might let you call me kitten a few times," I whispered seductively, he immediately looked at me with wide eyes and coughed.

Hehe, got him.

"Please don't say anything like that out of the blue, I might get a hard-on." He mumbled sitting next to me putting the bags of snacks between me and Hyun so I was closer to him. I loved how I could see the same effect on him as he had on me. He sneakily took my left hand into his and intertwined our fingers. I looked at him confused but pleased and smiling.

"You said you'd hold my hand and cuddle too, atleast do one coward." He said looking away from me. Hyun kicked my leg with his and I looked at him.

"What are you guys talking about? I wanna know too, I'm bored." He said in a whiny cute voice.

"We were just talking about the ice cream, she said she liked it." Young-Jae covered up quickly.

"Give me a bite too." Hyun said and I hand him the ice cream. He took two bites and gave it back to me with a sad face, what a cheeky boy. I laughed and let him have it.