C.13: Dark Dreams (Edit)

Tossing and turning in bed, Leon was drenched in sweat. Just like in the weeks before, nightmares plagued his sleep. A deep frown etched on his face.

The intensity of the nightmares increased, as he was now fully unconscious. Leaving him defenseless. Only able to run from the burly, girlish monster in his sleep.

In fact, these dreams were not that scary. No. He used to deal with nightmares worse than that. In his previous life.

***

Shadows chasing him through the streets, their touch, like acid on his skin. In the middle of the night, he would shoot up from bed. Warily eyeing the dark corners of his room.

He didn't run from them, because he feared death. No. Death wasn't scary for a child, that was taught about Heaven.

He ran from them, because he felt their intentions.

To break him. Torture him. Terrorize him. Hollow him. Twist him.

This scared the young boy who was born into a religious family beyond belief. Every night he felt like, no matter what, he couldn't be caught. So he had to wake up by force. The sleep paralysis only adding to his paranoia.

...

Every evening, he would pray to god for protection. Yet the moment the lights turned off, the only protection he had was the thin fabric of his blanket.

Imaginary monsters prowling at the edge of his vision. Worming their way behind his shut eyelids. Right into his mind.

He grew up skinny and sleepless. Because the night taught him fear.

He grew up helplessly praying, because only god could save him.

But he was also the son of his parents, and grew up with justice in his heart.

***

Fighting until his glasses broke, brawling until sand filled his mouth. From a young age, he was at the center of scuffles. With the other boys holding him down on the playground.

With them being this young, their punches and kicks didn't do much damage.

They wanted to mess with his friend, so they had to go through him.

He was right, and they were wrong.

Pulling girls by the hair was wrong. Pushing them into the sand was wrong. Bullying was wrong.

He made sure they understood. He wasn't a great talker, but he'd pick a fight when he felt something was off. Some of those he beat would become his friends. While the rest would stop.

It was very simple.

He was friends with both boys and girls. So if one side wanted to tease the other, they had to beat him first. It was a no-brainer, really. His friend was a girl. So nobody can torment the girls.

At night, he could only run.

But at day, he stood his ground.

..,

Soon he had to go to elementary school. Things weren't much different then. His friends from kindergarten accompanied him.

Sometimes they would relapse, but he would beat them up as soon as he noticed. That's what friends are for, right?

They were kids, so everything was forgiven and forgotten the next time they played.

...

He was friends with both the boys and the girls.

But with time, the latter grew more distant. Separated during sports, and in the breaks. Boys and girls had their own corners. They would even sit on different sides of the classroom.

Leon met his female friend less and less. Until contact broke off.

...

"In school, kids have to study."

That's what his family said, so he studied.

He wasn't born smart or talented. But after cutting on his playtime, he became a model student.

Not even properly understanding elementary grammar until 4th grade, he somehow got by, just by memorizing the words from the books he read. And writing by feeling.

Sacrificing playtime, his marks were top of the class. His parents were proud of him.

Seeing his friends do worse than him, he became arrogant.

'I am right, and they are wrong.'

Not studying was wrong. Not doing what the teacher says was wrong.

If only it was that simple.

He distanced himself from those he deemed beneath him. Subconsciously looking down on his friends, he inwardly sneered.

'Why don't you study more?'

Although he wwouldn't insult anyone, even if he was beaten for it, his demeanor changed. His studies took up more and more of his time, and his body grew thinner.

He didn't sleep well.

...

The fruits of his efforts, a highly prestigious middle school was waiting for him. His parents couldn't be more proud. All they ever wanted was for Leon to live an easier life than them. To earn a lot of money. So that he doesn't have to live from paycheck to paycheck.

...

The first year in fifth grade was hell.

The school was bragging about condemning racism. However that only meant, that white boys like him couldn't fight back when picked on.

To keep the school's image clean.

Being reprimanded for protecting himself and his classmates, he questioned life.

'But they're wrong and I'm right? Bullying is wrong, and I never said a bad word!'

The atmosphere in class turned worse and worse by the day. The bullies had the entire class under control. Those fighting back were made fun of, and publically shamed until they stopped resisting.

His old friends were all in other schools. So he had no other choice, but to bury himself in his studies even more, just to escape the reality of the situation.

His grades improved, but the circles under his eyes grew deeper. To better concentrate on school, he cut off all his sports.

Unable to insult others. And unable to fight back despite his unwillingness, he was their main target. Their words stung, and his attempts at verbally defending himself were futile. Met with laughter.

You can't win an argument against a deaf person. Logic doesn't mattter when nobody cares,

In fear of becoming the next target, nobody wanted to get close to him. In his eyes, those fifth graders looked like demons.

The only one defending him in class, was a blonde girl.

When the boys told lies about him, she would object. And speak up for him.

When they insulted Leon and her, she didn't back down. Shouting back, cursing like a sailor. Embarrassing them with clever wordplays.

When they couldn't take it anymore, they raised their fists, so Leon stepped in.

Leon was ground down by life. He was only eleven, yet he had to endure such injustice for months. He wasn't fit anymore. He couldn't find any sleep at night.

But he didn't back down.

When they were rushing at him, he got on his back, kicking the first kid into the air. Somersaulting through the classroom, the boy landed on his back. Standing up, he traded blows and kicked the second in the nuts. His lips now busted, he broke number three's arm on the chair.

Not moving fast enough, the fourth tackled him to the ground. His head hitting the concrete floor. Hard.

This was the third concussion in his life. Foisting the disoriented prick off, he stomped on his fingers.

He was right and they were wrong.

Kicking them as they were lying down, he made sure they wouldn't get up.

His vision swam, and next thing he knew, he woke up two years later in a hospital bed. The bullies long suspended.

...

His limbs, now no more than skin and bones, he couldn't believe his eyes. He missed out on two entire years of his life. Just because some eleven year old wannabe villains wanted to assert dominance.

He clenched his fist.

"Trash."

His first words.

"Scum."

Waking up, he found out that the blonde girl came visiting every month since then.

He was happy that he wasn't completely forgotten. Because his friends from elementary school were now nothing but strangers.

During his rehabilitation, he felt like he was moving through molasse. He fell into despair. He hoped that it was only the lack of training, but it was the brain.

'At least it's nothing mental?'

He wanted to smile, but couldn't quite do it. When walking, he would bump into doorframes. When reading, the books would slip out of his hands.

It was a nightmare.

One day, the pretty blonde girl came to visit. She thanked him, and wanted to be friends.

He didn't know what he said. He only remembered screaming, and the young girl running away in tears.

***

Looking back at his life, Leon noticed small things. Small things he chose to ignore in his daily life.

His attitude, his actions, and even miniscule nasty remarks.

Although he wasn't a bully, he found out that he wasn't much better.

Toxic.

And that for quite a while.

It all made sense now.

'Do onto others what you want them to do onto you.'

All the major religions could agree on the wisdom of this sentence.

He couldn't stop laughing.

Looking back at the shards of his life, he threw away all the little blessings he earned.

He neglected his friends, so why shouldn't they neglect him?

He stayed passive in front of injustice, so why should others fight for him?

He even pushed away the only one who helped him. Despite her expecting nnothing in return.

How could he have friends?

His last friend, gone, just like that.

He buried himself in studies about morality. There were no more friends to take care of. So why not prepare for the future?

So he realized a great truth of his life:

Spreading goodness without ulterior motives or expectations. That was the answer.

Kindness out of nowhere could make your day, while a toxic comment could ruin it. As normal as it may sound, it was the truth.

...

The nightmares stopped. And Leon had only one last prayer on his lips.

"Please, let me live long enough to make amends."