Chapter 11- Asterin

In a different time, Asterin Black would have been grateful for her current situation. Maybe if she was still the same person she’d been two years ago, seeing Luke in an unexpected manner would have been a blessing. But to who she was now, it was truly nothing but a nightmare.

Just as simple as she’d opened the huge doors and came in, she ignored Luke’s burning gaze when she turned around and walked away from the main hall. Her steps were tangling together, her walk turning into a run. They’d been in the middle of a treatment, that meant he could not follow or call for her. Would he do that even if he could? Asterin did not want to know the answer.

She ran as fast as her body allowed it, not caring that the cloth she’d wrapped around her body was now gone or that the cold air was brushing against her bare skin. Three days; she had kept herself from breaking for three damn days but now tears were forming in her eyes. It was as if it had not been real up to a few moments ago.

Reaching her room, she slowed her pace, opened the door and locked herself in. Visitors were the last thing she’d want. She fell on the ground with a lump, taking her head in her hands and silencing the scream forming in her throat.

He’d seen her, and he would come looking.

The walls of her room were closing in on her, she was trapped. He’d find her, she’d let herself fall for him again. And somehow her father would find out, only this time he’d certainly not spare Luke from a death sentence.

Gods, her thoughts would bury her alive at this point. She took in a shallow breath, or at least tried to. Her lungs were neither empty nor full, but she could not feel the air. This room was too small for her wave of emotions, for the cry that she so desperately wanted to unleash but could not afford to.

“Shhhhh” she whispered to herself, hugging her own body with her hands, patting on each of her shoulders. “It’s alright.” Was it really? “It’s all going to be alright.” Would it? She knew herself that it was nothing but a lie.

Finally, after long moments when she was no longer choking for a breath, the tears in her eyes started falling. They were so warm, clashing with the cold temperature of her skin. They rolled down, falling off her face on her white dress, absorbed by the thick fabric and disappearing inside it. The room still felt so small, but she had no where else to go and hide. Her pearl-like tears kept falling after another, somehow giving her more comfort than she’d thought they would.

As Asterin shed tear after tear, sitting in the same position, she did not notice the constant pounding on her door or how time passed by, daytime giving its place to the darkness of the night.

She simply fell asleep.

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Asterin woke up in her bed. The strange thing was that she did not remember how she’d ended up on the uncomfortable pile of mattress that she called bed. The last thing on her mind had been her in the ground crying, alone in her dark room. Now however, it was daytime. She got a glimpse of the sunlight as she looked around her, searching for answers.

Monika sat beside her bed, a book in her hand as her dark hair flowed on her brown skin. She was a woman with the age of forty, however she looked rather young for her age. One would mistake her for a princess from the southern empire if she ever wore a gown. “You’re up.” She stated without looking up from her book. Asterin wanted to respond, but as she opened her mouth the dryness of her throat caused her to close it.

“Don’t talk.” Monika said as if sensing her condition. “You’ve been unconscious for two days. Now I don’t know what that boy has against you that I found your lifeless body after he saw you; but you’ve got to know that if you want him gone, I will send him to another tower.” Her words caught Asterin off guard, somehow comforting and maybe one of the few kind acts of Monika since she’d arrived here. Once again, she tried to speak but no sound came out of her mouth. The middle aged looked up, as if expecting a reaction. Asterin nodded her head in understanding.

“Well, do you?” she asked, “want him gone?” she added next. Asterin took her time thinking about the question, did she want him away from her? The logical answer would be to say yes, to end it all right there, to just nod her head and worry about the consequences later. But she did not really want to drive him away. She could stay in her room and avoid him if it was what it took, but she would not banish him like her father had.

And maybe it would get her into trouble, and maybe just maybe she was not in her right mind after being asleep for two days.

She shook her head and Monika gave a look as if she understood. The woman stood up and strode to the door. She paused, as if expecting Asterin to try and demand for answers. “Send someone for me if you need me.” She said, and left Asterin her own company.