My new life
Rimuru POV:
As I slowly start to regain consciousness I'm met with absolute darkness. Darkness isn't the right word to describe it as I can see my own body, the word nothingness describes where I am better. No light can be seen, nothing can be heard or felt. It feels as if I'm floating and sinking at the same time while also giving off the feeling of being on a hard surface.
'what happened? How did I get here?'
As I slowly start to recall what happened leading up to now tears start to form in my eyes. As they slowly start to roll down my cheek I can feel the amount start to pick up until I'm wailing like a child. Suddenly I feel a hand wrap around my head and pull me towards their chest. As I look up a pair of red eyes meets mine.
((A/N: they're in Rimurus conscious as he is in the process of reincarnation))
"Ciel?"
I ask in a hopeful yet desperate tone not wanting it to be a hallucination.
"Yes master it's me"
Ciel replies reassuring me she, and the warmth I feel, is real.
As I confirm that She isn't a figment of my imagination I bury my head into her chest and let all of my emotions out as she strokes my hair.
"What did I do? I killed everyone. There weren't even any survivors. Even my students weren't spared. The millions of innocents I massacred, all because I couldn't contain my emotions. I RIPPED FAMILIES APART AND KILLED CHILDREN! I'm a failure as a leader and a person. I really did turn into a monster."
I mumble the last part in a volume no better than a silent whisper with my head still buried in Ciel's chest while still sobbing.
"It wasn't your fault master. You couldn't have known Micheal had control over the angelic skills let alone resisted it. He was the root cause of it all, you didn't do anything wrong. All that matters is that you're ok master. I-I thought I'd lost you."
As Ciel whispers the last part tears start to trickle down her cheeks.
"I thought you'd turned into a mindless incarnation only lusting for destruction. I'm so glad you're ok."
As the words leave her mouth she hugs me tighter as she starts to silently sob as the relief that her I'm ok overwhelms her.
We stay like this for what seems to be hours or maybe even days since they're is no way to keep track of time where we are. As I start to dry my eyes I pull away from Ciel's chest as her arms move around my neck.
"Hey Ciel, where are we right now?"
I question her seeing as we're floating in nothing.
"We're currently in the process of being reincarnated. You were going to be reincarnated on some random planet so instead I decided to send you towards a world similar to the earth you came from so that you can live a peaceful life."
"OH! Does that mean I'll finally get my son back?!"
I question excitedly seeing as I won't be genderless anymore, happy to finally regain the most important thing I lost in my last reincarnation.
"... I chose to reincarnate you in Japan since this world is almost identical to your first and thought it would be better than an unfamiliar country,"
Ciel tells me deflecting my previous question.
"Ciel... I'll get my son back.....right?"
I try prodding her for an actual answer, but before she can reply I'm suddenly met with a blinding light.
As I open my eyes I'm met with an average hospital room in the arms of a man with a surgical mask on. I swivel my head around and look around the room as the doctor hands me to my mother in this life.
She has short black hair falling just short of reaching her shoulders along with blood-red eyes and a beautiful face that is wearing a warm smile while looking down at me. When I turn to look at my dad the only thing I can think of to describe him with is.....Hentai protagonist. I'm not even joking. he has short brown hair and is slightly taller than the average man with a slender figure and square glasses.
'How did he manage to get mom to marry him.....'
After I finished assessing my surroundings I finally decided to check the most important thing. As I slowly look down praying to god that I have the most important part of my body.....nothing.
I deadpan(Ciel.....What happened.) I ask her slightly irritated.
[I'm not sure what you mean ~master~]
She replies in a joyful tone. A little too joyful if you ask me...
(WHY DID MY SON TURN INTO A DAUGHTER!)
I ask desperately in the hope there's a way to fix it.
[Error. Cannot compute.]
She says in a tone that is reminiscent of when she was only great sage.
(....)
[....]
'What a great way to start off my third life' I stare at the ceiling and deadpan. By the time I snap out of it, I realise that everyone's staring at me weirdly.
(Ne~Ciel, do you know why they're all staring at me like I have a disability.)
[It's because master is not crying.]
'ooooohhhhhhh, I forgot I'm a newborn at the moment.' As they realise it's not normal for a baby to be silent I start doing my best to act like a baby to not arouse suspicion.
"She's so adorable, do you have a name for her izawa-san"
the doctor asks my mother.
As she turns to look at me she silently ponders for a moment before opening her mouth to speak.
"Your name will be Rimuru, Izawa Rimuru."
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I'm currently 4 years old and honestly, life hasn't been too bad. I ended up keeping all of my skills apart from the intrinsic ones, although I sealed most of them because I wanted to live a normal life. I don't see my dad that often as he works a lot but my mom takes really good care of me. She takes me shopping and to picnics at the park or some sort of activity at least once a week. I can tell she cares a lot about me.
The same can't be said about my dad though. Even though he's rarely home, when I do see him he only says a couple of words to me and then goes into his study. It wasn't like this for the first couple of years of my life but it got worse after I turned 3. At this point, I'm lucky if he even greets me when he returns.
I don't want to have a bad relationship with him so I steel myself to spend time with him and greet him when he comes home. As I'm waiting for him on the couch time starts to flow by and I end up falling asleep. When I woke up I could hear him talking with Mom in the kitchen so I ran towards them so I could talk to Dad. As I near the kitchen door he suddenly comes out and starts walking to his office again. Before he can get too far I yell out to him and go in for a hug.
"Dad! I missed you. How was work?"
I exclaim while only a few steps away from him.
As I start to get near him I can smell the faint scent of alcohol lingering around him. As he turns around instead of giving me a hug he just scowls at me and raises his hand. I still held hope that he was simply going to pay my head. But contrary to my hopes he swings his arm towards me and backhands me across the face sending me to the wall with a loud thump.
"The fuck do you think you're doing. Don't come near me. If it wasn't for you tying me down and holding me back I would have gotten promoted!"
He screams angrily at me.
As I start to get up I can feel my cheek begin to swell and my vision blur due to being hit and the tears that a swelling in my eyes. As I look towards my father he is already inside of his study without even sparing me a glance. As my mother hears the commotion she walks out to see me on my knees holding my cheek with tears freely flowing. As she walks over she gives me a single glance.
"You'll be fine it wasn't doesn't even seem that bad, just go get some ice for your cheek and go to bed ok Mommy's tired today so she's going to sleep,"
she says in a tired tone almost as if she doesn't want to deal with me.
Ever since I reincarnated I didn't cry much even as a baby. I only ever cried when I was hungry or needed to be changed, even then I stopped crying quite easily to not cause too much trouble for my parents. Whenever I did cry they always looked at me in contempt. I always brushed it off as them being new parents and being tired.
As I watch my mom walk away silently hoping she'll turn around and take care of me, she just continues up the stairs and into her room without even looking back at me. I pick myself up and walk into the kitchen still in a daze trying to process what happened. After the swelling in my cheek goes down I head to bed convincing myself it was only a one-time thing.
Oh how wrong I was.
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I'm turning 13 Next week and to be honest, things have just gotten worse since that day. Dad and Mom started fighting a lot more. At first, it was small arguments about minor things, then it slowly progressed to screaming matches between the two. I never wanted to listen so I'd go into my room and distract myself.
Dad started coming home later and always had a strong smell of alcohol on him. For the first couple of months I didn't mind as it just meant I didn't need to see him, but one day when he came home he came into my room, probably after another screaming match with Mom, and started beating me. At first, he would only hit me a couple of times, but it started to get more and more aggressive as time went on to the point I needed to ask Ciel to turn on pain nullification.
I tried going to Mom when it first started, but that didn't do anything as she just watched as he beat me. After the arguments with Dad got worse she started drinking a lot and was almost black out drunk every night. She also started paying less attention to me so I had to feed myself as well as wash my clothes. After a couple of months of this, she too started beating me as well.
When I tried asking why they were doing this they both gave different and similar answers. The most common one is that I ruined their lives and they can't do anything because of me holding them back. I honestly didn't understand their train of thought because from what I gathered, I was a planned pregnancy so it wasn't as if I was an accident.
At first, it hurt not only physically but mentally as well, knowing my parents didn't care for me. I was depressed about it at first seeing as how in my first life I didn't have a good relationship with my parents and barely talked to them, and well my second life....I kinda just spawned so I didn't have any parents. I guess you could consider Veldora my father but I refuse to acknowledge that immature otaku dragon as my dad. After a couple of months hoping that it was just a phase I gave up hope and just accepted it as how it was. I just had to bide my time until I was able to live on my own and not rely on them.
This all changed when I started to get fractured and broken bones. I never had to go to the hospital seeing as I healed the bones as soon as they finished but I left the bruises and cuts not wanting them to get suspicious as to why I was suddenly fully healed.
I decided to wait until I was able to live in an apartment on my own before I made a move. living with them was hell if I'm being honest. I slowly got used to it and found ways to avoid it by hiding when they came home or when I could hear them coming up the stairs. They did find me sometimes albeit rarely, but they "punished" me for hiding from them.
Honestly, they disgust me. They're just as bad as some of the people from the cardinal world. During the day I snuck into the kitchen to grab myself a knife. I wasn't going to kill my dad or mom if they came in, only stab their leg or make them bleed so they don't try anything again, then I'd propose to them living in an apartment on my own.
As night rolled around I lay awake waiting for one of them to come in. Lo and behold my dad came stumbling in reeking of alcohol. As he made his way up the stairs I wrapped my fingers around the shaft of the blade. I lay in bed with my eyes plastered shut when he opens my bedroom door so he doesn't suspect I'm still awake.
After the first hit, I pounce on him and stab his arm. After he realises what I've done he sends a quick kick to my stomach sending me barreling towards the wall. he runs out of the room screaming something at me but I pay it no mind. Satisfied with getting what I wanted I lay back down in bed and drifted off to sleep not minding the blood stain on the floor and my hands.
•
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It's been a week since I stabbed my dad's arm. Honestly, it was really easy to get my parents to agree to let me live in an apartment. They were all too eager to get me out of the house. As I'm leaving the house with a suitcase filled with the little possessions I own, my mother scowls at me and comes to the door to see me off.
"You better remember we'll only be sending you 20,000 yen per month, so if you need more or run out you need to get a job since we aren't a charity. We'll also stop paying for the apartment and sending you money on your 18th birthday so don't come crying when you don't have any money left since you're the one that wanted this."
She practically spits the words at me obvious contempt in her voice.
As I walk away from that hell of a home I round the corner head into an alley and teleport myself to my new home. Even though it's a shitty apartment with only 1 room I don't mind since I can just connect a door to my imaginary space and live in the house that is there. I'm just glad to finally be rid of my parents.