An Unwanted Memory
"Isn't it wonderful my son!" exclaimed Martha happily, with red cheeks. Felix smiled dejectedly as he lied. "Oh yes!". He had never before seen his mother so happy. She wasn't happy when Felix won the horse-riding competition when he was 12 years old, nor did she rejoice when he saved the drowning child at the age of 17 or when he received the job offer from the postal service at 20 a few days ago. Because she simply wasn't there. In the beginning, he used to tell her everything. Like every normal child, he wanted to include her in every significant event in his life. But as time went on Felix realized that there was no one for him. He struggled with every obstacle in his life on his own, no one was there to encourage him or boost his spirits when things became tough. He had no memories of his father, who passed away when he was only six months old. It would be altogether nice to say that he grew up like an orphan. Dying every night for love and attention, reincarnating every morning to face the same things again. His mother loved her husband, and both of them spent a good time together. She couldn't imagine being separated from him when one day he left her in an accident. Martha could not believe all that. She was doomed to hopelessness and trauma and abandoned her baby. After recovering physically from the shock, the doctor prescribed her "Memory Nutriment". So that she would have little chance of experiencing another severe trauma in the future that might affect her physically. The "Memory Nutriment" was not the alternative for the person at present. Because we could only enjoy and mold those moments with our loved ones that we have had with them before. She experienced having a new life. It started to give her pleasure, and that was all she needed. Aunt Rose occasionally visited and looked after Felix. At times she would also persuade Martha to look after him, and told her that he needs her. But the consequences always did not last long, she would only care for him temporarily when Rose insisted vehemently. But usually, Felix just cried for hours but she wasn't there. Her door was forever shut for Felix. He grew up on his own in a house that echoed with a lady's voice sobbing bitterly.
After the frenetic event, Felix retired to his room and felt worn out. He looked at himself in the mirror after putting on pajamas and remembered when his mom said that he looked exactly like his father. Even the mere thought of it made him tense. "I can never be like him" he declared to himself, clenching his fists. "I've never had such intense animosity for anyone except dad and Ophelia. I hate myself to hate others but even if I try to convince myself to lessen my dislike for them it never actually happens. He took away my mom and for this, he will never be forgiven ever".
The following morning, he walked to the kitchen and was astounded by the lavishly laid table for breakfast when at that very moment his mom came and told him to sit down. This couldn't be a matter of surprise for anyone other than him. He wasn't used to living in a home sweet home where mum made breakfast and everyone enjoyed a hearty meal together. He sat on the chair in disbelief and fancied himself with toast and began spreading butter on it. There was always a little exchange of words between them but today he was feeling a little cheered up so he ended the silence with the first thing that came to his mind. "Umm, mum there was no butter left". He casually said as he moved the toast to his mouth, "Did you buy it?". His lips parted, and his mouth opened to greet the incoming meal when his mom replied. "Yes, son I bought it from the new bakery this morning". His eyes widened with the abrupt realization but of no use. The opportunity to undo the action was passed. The bite had gone halfway through his esophagus and he had...
Her silky hair flowed in the wind. Long and dense enough to enthrall the viewers, and of the color same as golden sun rays. Lavished with a shine that one could feel his eyes dazzling. She moved through the air like a delicate petal and it seemed that the wind could carry her anywhere. That sight was by true means captivating, everything glistened around her. Her surroundings were given new vitality. He could not see her face because he was standing behind her back, there was nobody there except the two of them and they were enough. Till that point she did not turn around, despite knowing that he was standing behind her, she did not turn. When she decided to turn, her face delicately moved in that direction. Her maneuver created glitter that was spread all around but she began to disappear. Fader and fader as the seconds passed. The milieu began to decay and disappear with her too. At the exact moment when she was on the verge of turning toward him, she evanesced. She took all the happiness with her. Only golden sparkles were left behind that lingered in the air. He extended his arm in an attempt to stop her and capture her vanishing form, but other than some purposefully left-over sparkles, nothing came into his hand.
"Why did you do this to me in the first place" he instantly stood and slammed his fists on the table. A cup vibrated and fell off to the ground. Martha could not see where this instant anger came from "Hold on! My son", "Hell that hold on, you gave me that butter on purpose. You want me to be like you like everyone, unaware of my surroundings just immersing in my thoughts. You should understand that I WILL NEVER BECOME LIKE YOU" his eyes were scarlet with pain. Martha stood there quietly with an expressionless face; she was shivering from head to toe. He threw away the toast with all his might and went to his room. Felix's words continued to reverberate in Martha's head as she stood there for several minutes, just looking at the cup and the broken plate of toast. Those words told her something which she was hiding deep inside of her. The truth which she had long since abandoned and covered up with falsehood. Her life started rewinding in her mind, the pivotal moments of her entire journey from the day she was born to the very present. She found all of that a lie when her strength failed and she sank to the chair. All the miseries from which she had suffered kept coming to her mind and then…. She FAINTED.
He didn't remember falling asleep, but when he woke up, he realized it was midday. His anxiety subsided. He suddenly remembered the whole scene before falling asleep and said "Oh my god" in shock. He slightly punched his forehead and regretted all he had spoken. All his anger turned to regret and eventually he decided to apologize for his words. When he entered the kitchen, he found his mom on the floor next to the table. Felix rushed to her. Her lips and face were both yellow. He sat on the floor and placed her head on his lap, he was drenched in fear but tried his best to remain in his senses. He felt her heartbeat by putting a quivering finger at the side of her neck. "Yes, Yes Thank god" she was breathing.
He was still concerned since his mother had not opened her eyes despite the treatment and asked the doctor, "Why isn't she waking up doctor?" "Alas! Mr. Cuthbert, I don't have a piece of positive news for you" the doctor said with a worried look on his face. Felix was eager to know, his eyes turned red in tension. "She has gone to a comma" Felix, who was eager just then, lost control of his body. His emotions once more changed from fear to regret. He stared at all the medicines sitting on the nightstand next to his mom's bed. She was lying there with a pale face not speaking to him. He still loved her even though they never maintained a perfect relationship. She was the only one he had in life. He began blaming himself for her condition. He was far from where he was seated for a few minutes as he was lost in his thoughts. "I assume that you have no idea but when your father passed away, Mr. Cuthbert she was left with little hope, and her psychological condition was pitiful back then. I suggested taking 'Memory Nutriment'. Although I did not want to do this, there was no option. However, I can now see that it did not completely eradicate the trauma only suppressed it, and that worked for a time being. For this condition, I must say that she experienced a shock, a very big shock in fact, which further contributed to this stroke".
Felix listened to all of this looking downwards when he stopped the doctor in the middle. The doctor could comprehend his condition. He stood up and slowly took a few steps toward Felix and patted his shoulder to keep up his morale. Felix looked at the doctor's face and with a shaky voice, he said: "Maybe our lives would have been different if you had not prescribed her that". Pray for her, my child, the doctor said with a sigh before leaving the room.