Chapter - 4

I clearly remember; it was the last week of our school when I mustered up the courage to

go to her, my heart in my mouth, readying myself up for rejection. It was mostly out of panic because I felt I would never see her again. Who knew Facebook would burst into the scene in three years and you would always be in touch with friends you never wished you had!

Anyway, she was almost set to go to some college in Delhi University, surrounded by

boys and girls as cute as she was, and I was keeping my fingers crossed for my entrance

examinations. I just had to tell her. I couldn't have chosen a worse time, though. It was only

later that it came to my knowledge that there were three more guys, all of whom were better

than I was (because being worse than me was kind of impossible), who had asked her out around those very days; all of them were turned down.

'Umm … err … hi …' I said.

She smiled as she always did and said, 'Hi, Joy.'

She fucking knows my name! She fucking knows my name! Obviously she does, you

asshole. You have shared the same class since you didn't even know what an erection was.

'Hi,' I said and shut up. I started rubbing my palms together which were sweating by now.

I shivered. This was the best moment in our seven-year-long secret relationship. We had

finally said Hi, our first real conversation.

'Yes?'she said, still smiling.

'Umm … nothing … I just wanted to tell you that … that … I think you are very nice …' I

said. My face flushed red and my head spun.

Yes, in those days, nice and cute were the only words we all used. Asking a girl out was a really big deal and it took only a stud or a man crazed with love to do it. Having a girlfriend was unheard of, like a myth, something that only happened in movies, or in colleges.

'Well … thank you,'she said and smiled. 'Joy, I need to go. I will talk to you later.'

'S … sure,' I mumbled as she walked away from me. I wasn't screwed. She was still single. I had told her what I wanted to … almost, and she had smiled. I was a winner!

My happiness was shortlived; a few minutes later, I saw her talking to a few of her friends in the corner. I didn't know whether it was just my mind playing games with me, but I saw her pointing at me and smiling, and her friends were laughing.

Maybe, they were right in doing so. I had been fool enough to have a glimmer of hope that

something would come out of me telling Nisha that I liked her. I turned away from them and spent the next two hours in the washroom crying like a little girl. And felt disgusted with myself.

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