I don't want to let her go

"Aeng?"

King Suk Seokju's brows knitted together as he waved off the servants.

It took the King by surprise when he heard that Chancellor Yi wanted Han Aeng as the bride. Of all the things he had expected, this was not one of them - rather, this was never an option. No wonder Prime Minister Han seemed so conflicted the past few days.

When Chancellor Yi suggested Han Aeng, Prime Minister Han's immediate response was with worries about the court, but now that reality had settled in, he was more worried about Han Aeng leaving his side. He had been mentally preparing for when she got married -and that was only with the condition her groom lived close by- but to have her married to another country was unthinkable.

Prime Minister Han avoided the King's gaze, taking a sincere tone, "Yes, Your Majesty, but this Minister is against the idea. This Minister humbly wishes for Her Highness to proceed as the bride for this alliance; Han Aeng is not a suitable candidate for such a heavy task."

The King's eyes flashed a complicated look. For the first time in a long while, the calm, collected, and confident Prime Minister Han seemed stressed and anxious as he silently stared at his clasped hands.

"Sunmi wasn't big on this marriage, and she made a fuss about it. While I was not expecting Aeng to be the next candidate, as the King, I have no objection to complying with the proposed candidate." The King replied solemnly.

He was thoroughly aware of the effects of sending Han Aeng as the bride to Shangwei. One of the more severe issues being it would give Minister Jang the perfect opportunity to turn the tables and reck the balance he and Prime Minister Han had finally obtained in the court. However, that might just be a small price to pay for a more significant personal benefit.

King Suk Seokju watched Prime Minister Han's face contour between rage and agony before sighing with emotions. The way Prime Minister Han's face fell was a very explicit indication that he wasn't happy with the alliance's development. Just a few days ago, the only things to finalise were the number of troops to send to Shangwei with the bride. Now there is a debate for who the bride would be - when the bride was never to be compromised!

"Your Majesty, this Minister knows not what Chancellor Yi is planning but humbly objects to the idea. This Minister does not wish to pose as treason waiting to happen and give reasons for Minister Jang and others to pick fault with me."

"You and I both know that sending away Aeng is the best way to show your loyalty to me."

The King didn't believe Prime Minister Han's words. Their relationship was more than enough for the King to discern that Prime Minister Han was in a predicament for more than one reason.

"The problem doesn't lie with you as my minister; the problem lies with you as her father." King Seokju's eyes unexpectedly softened. Obviously, Prime Minister Han didn't care if Minister Jang picked fault with him or threw dirt on his name; he just didn't want Han Aeng to leave his side. "Seungkyu-ah, stop talking like a minister and talk to me as a brother and as Aeng's father. Do you wish to give her away?"

King Seokju and Prime Minister Han were childhood friends. Growing up, they relied on each other; they shared their happiness and sadness. Had things worked out, they would have been brothers-in-law too. Their familiarity with each other meant King Seokju would call for Prime Minister Han without a second thought if he was troubled, and the same applied for Prime Minister Han - although he hadn't done so in years.

Ever since that day, Han Seungkyu never spoke casually to Suk Seokju. Even when alone, he always kept his distance, and after Suk Seokju took the throne, he talked as his Minister. This would be one of the third infrequent occasions where Han Seungkyu talked to Suk Seokju as his friend and brother.

"As Aeng's father?" Prime Minister Han repeated, his voice but a whisper.

As any father would, Prime Minister Han was extremely reluctant to marry off his daughter, not to mention getting married to another country. Only Prime Minister Han's emotions were much more complicated than just marrying his daughter to a foreign country; he owed his daughter too much. So much more than what he has done for her, much more than the life she had to live.

"I don't want to let Aeng go. She's the only thing I have." In truth, he wanted to scream that Han Aeng was his. Prime Minister Han was not willing to give away the child he had fought so hard to keep. He risked everything he had just to see her again, spent seven years at the battlefront for her, betrayed his principles just so he could be her shelter, and went against his morals to be at a place in life where very few people could challenge him.

But despite all Prime Minister Han's attempts to shield Han Aeng from trouble, nothing was ever capable of protecting her; he was never enough to protect her. She was still in danger and could never escape the threat to her life. The child was basically a walking disaster; trouble was attracted to her just like moths drawn to the flame.

"However, I also don't want her to suffer any more than she has to, hyungnim." Prime Minister Han muttered, running his hands over his face. He was exhausted, scared and worried. He was unwilling to keep testing his luck at the expense of her life and no longer wanted to be the reason Han Aeng continued to fight for her life.

"I know." Silence followed the King's short statement.

In truth, Han Aeng was more or less the source of both their joy and pain; to save her would mean to hurt themselves, both emotionally, morally and politically.

While he is Prime Minister Han's friend, Seok Seokju is also the King, which is a very desolate and uncertain position - frankly, one that would be easier kept if she was out of the way. The child's existence was a sore wound, bitter and miserable. Something he tried to erase but could never bring himself to do because he owed Prime Minister Han and Han Aeng's mother in more than a one way.

He regretted a lot of things. Back when he took the throne, he did nothing but watch with his hands behind his back as Han Aeng endured dreadful circumstances and witnessed Prime Minister Han break every inch of himself to match Han Aeng's uncertain fate and keep her from harm.

Putting aside his personal gain, Han Aeng leaving Jeontu wasn't entirely a terrible idea either. Han Aeng being outside of Jeontu was an assurity itself, for King Suk Seokju, Prime Minister Han, and her life.

King Seokju knew if he didn't choose his words carefully, he would hurt his young friends' feelings and shatter the last strand of sanity that was holding him together. "I know just how hard you fought to keep her then, just how hard it was on you to raise her, and I know just how hard it is for you to let her go now. But there is a whole life waiting for her out there, maybe a safer one than we could ever provide her with."

King Seokju placed his hand on Prime Minister Han's shoulder, a subtle way to show that he shared the same pain. "I'm not saying this as your King, but rather as the big brother who's watched you grow. No matter how much you try, that child isn't her. You have to let her. Let both of them go."

Her.

Her smile, laugh, tears, tantrums, and everything else about her was an unattainable bitter-sweet memory to Prime Minister Han. She was his everything yet nothing, all at the same time. She was the reason why Prime Minister Han wanted Han Aeng to stay by his side so badly. To lose Han Aeng meant losing her along the way, and he didn't want to lose her - not again. Han Aeng was the only thing that connected him to her, seeing Han Aeng was like bathing in her presence. He wanted her, and to do that, he needed Han Aeng by his side.

While he believed his affection for Han Aeng was conditional to her, Prime Minister Han's desperate attempts to keep Han Aeng were more deep-rooted than he would like to admit, or maybe even more than he knew. "I can't let her go, and I don't want to let Aeng go."

For a while, neither of them spoke. Prime Minister Han fighting back his emotions, and King Seokju's eyes fixed on the pitiful scar spread from the centre of Prime Minister Han's forehead to the tip of his brows.

"Maybe it's time you do."