Prologue

MC POV

"So, this is awkward." I said, as I stand in front of a tall pasty white version of Keanu Reeves. Usually, in situations where I encounter the absurd, my bodily reactions do the most normal thing in the world. Shut down, the PlayStation is overheating. In this instance however, I just sit in a Bruce Almighty like office with a wild Keanu Reeves sitting in front of me.

"This might seem odd, but I was aiming for the cat. Not you." Said Keanu.

"Wait, I was hit by the truck, because I saved a cat?" - Me

"Apparently, usually this type of thing doesn't occur in my region. Japan has more accidental killings with the usage of semi-trucks." - Keanu ROB

I tilted my head at that phrase. Japan, a culture with an avid fanbase based on the mythic semi-truck. I'm surprised they haven't made a manga titled: 'I was Once a Salary Worker, when I Got Hit By a Semi-Truck, and Now I'm the Semi-Truck Tasked to Kill Protagonists From Other Worlds. Or some satirical piece like so. Even if there was a manga like that, it would still sell wonders and have an even longer name. In this case, its a little less amusing than one might think.

If you've ever thought of trying to get hit by a semi-truck to get reincarnated, don't. One, it hurts like hell, and two, if most of you think its a one shot, one kill situation, its not really. Turns out the driver CAN try and stop the truck from hitting you, its just that when it does its usually too late to stop. The pain starts at your sides, and then you get a harsh concussion.

We sat for about 1 hour, chilling and looking at each other. Whoever this ROB is impersonating Keanu, would get a 1 star YELP. Doesn't even try to give me tea or coffee, or converse in any way.

I broke the prolonged silence between us.

"What do I do now?" I asked.

"Well, to answer your questions, and yes I have telepathy, people think I don't. One, I look like Keanu because he's a handsome lad, and I watched the Matrix and all of his movies. Even Gods need a break. And two, what do YOU want to do?" - ROB Keanu

I stared at ROB for no reason. I just wanted to see if ROB would choose to stop the deadlocked game of stare and not talk to each other. Apparently, ROB didn't mind. Guess we're both introverts.

"Well, I've always wanted to reincarnate." - Me

"Where?" Asked ROB.

"Can I call you Keanu first?" - Me

"Um....eh, sure..." - ROB Keanu

"So, Keanu? Um..." I don't really know how to create a conversation as one could tell. After all being able to carry conversations is probably the closest thing to superpowers one could have.

"Go on, please just tell me anything." Said Keanu, now with the legs crossed over and reclined on the chair. And so, the silence started again. Both of us just deadpanned gazed at each other. Goddammit, the introverts are in a staring contest.

Keanu said, now sighing at the situation. "This seems counter-productive if every time we finish speaking both enter a phase of silence."

"Agreed. Um... is this like ordering on a kid-" - Me

"No, it is not like ordering from a kids menu in McDonalds." Visible tick marks appear on the face of ROB, it appeared comical. At least to me it did.

"There's a show that I like its called Modern Family." I said. Now, looking at the enormous stack of papers that thumped after I said the name. Keanu seemed to be more enthusiastic, finally some progress.

"You sure, this world is just like yours, just with Modern Family characters." - ROB Keanu

"I'm sure, I want to be in this world." - Me

"Low crime, good characters, alright, choose your system." - ROB Keanu

I looked at Keanu, and Keanu looked at me. I didn't comprehend what Keanu said. "System? Why do I need one?" I asked

"Most people ask for one, and ask to be overpowered to the point one starts to create things out of thin air. Reparations of some kind for their killings and loss of life." Keanu looked at me in bewilderment, reading my mind of course. Why try to converse when you have telepathy. Right, Saiki K?

"I don't want one." - Me

"May I interest you in cheats?" Asked Keanu, looking as polite as possible. Must've heard my customer service comment before.

"Sure, um... do you know of a certain anime show called Shokugeki no Soma?" I asked, hopefully Keanu doesn't reject this decision.

"I do why? Want to have the ecch-" - ROB Keanu

"No, Please. God. No. No pun intended. I just want to have the characters abilities and masteries in cooking. I was about to open my 5th restaurant and my 4th had gotten a Michelin Star, so I think this is some reparation enough. No ecchi, no magical transportation, where they experience a foodgasm and cum. Please. None of that." - Me

"Congrats, on the Michelin Star, and yes, absolutely. Thank Me, your more humble than the last one." Keanu sighed and grimaced at the thought when the phrase 'last one' ended.

What type of traumatic experience ROB have with the last one?

"Anything else? Like a genius brain or anything." - ROB Keanu

"Um... can I retain my brain right now, I'm above average in IQ and EQ is somewhat lacking but I like it. Also, are you able to arrange a mentor, who I could surpass and learn from?" Hope was filled in my eyes. If, I'm able to grasp why I love food again, my meaningless life from before would not be so well, tragic.

"Why not retain your cooking memories from your past life?" - ROB Keanu

"I would love to, but I like the idea of starting over." - Me

Keanu relented and patted me in the back. The weight of his hands felt like one thousand nona's and abuelos saying I'm proud and happy about this child.

"And anything else?" Asked Keanu.

"Reincarnate me in the Dunphy Family, Hailey's twin." - Me

"Why, don't you want Hailey to be your girlfriend?" - ROB Keanu

This decision might not make sense, however, Hailey reminded me of my anorexic sister who was forced by my mom to enter beauty pageants at the tender age of 6. Hailey needs someone, and it breaks my heart that Hailey looked so skinny in the show. Also, there was theory that Hailey was slightly anorexic, and with food comes healing. (And maybe addiction, but we'll get there if we get there.)

"Hailey? No thank you, plus I would be more happy to forget my old sad life, and make new memories with a family that actually cares." - Me

Keanu relented and nodded to my decision. ROB understood why, if I could be one of the best with a shit family, imagine what would happen with a family that cares.

"Alright, we'll square you away kid. Please, don't come back till your properly dead." - ROB Keanu

I nodded and let a white light envelope me. If anyone want to wonder what it feels like, think about a dream that you get hugged by your family members while they are crying at a Taylor Swift concert. That's what it feels like. Loving, caring, powerful, and intense embrace. With a slight hum, the light lifted me to the sky and I vanished into another world.

Author Note: Pardon my French sometimes I like to cuss. Anyways, thank you for picking up this book, and to those who drops it while reading this prologue, thank you for tolerating until the end. If anyone wants to ask why I break the 4th wall most of the time, all I can say is...I have no clue what you're talking about. As you can see, Hailey is twins with MC, and MC does not have any powers except the ones he has in cooking.

(Anyone wondering what tragic life MC has; Anorexic sister who went through a depressive episode in her life. Committed suicide when he was 14 and she was 16. Cause of death was overdose.

Mom was verbally and emotionally abusive mainly to the sister. Pressured her to participate in beauty pageants. Was abandoned by her family after she was caught committing fraud impersonating an elderly woman and accusing the father of SA.

Dad was a workaholic who cries himself to sleep because of Mom and the family situation. Lawyer and handled his divorce case winning custody of the kids. Became an alcoholic due to sister and brothers death.

Brother joined the army and died in a mission where he got ambushed. Stepped on a mine and blew up.)