Chapter Five - It's just a passing illness, right?

I thought it would be an ordinary day like the previous ones. The sun shone through the curtains in the room, the sky was clear and blue, and the air was fresh. I had a light breakfast with my mother, the men of the house were already training.

I got dressed in something comfortable and trained for a while too, and after that, I attended my etiquette, history and language lessons. Everything went as usual until there was some commotion. I could hear upset voices from my study so I went out to check the situation. Two male servants were carrying my dad to his room. He was barely conscious.

At first, I felt flabbergasted and numb. It may seem like a contradiction but after my first shock, I felt nothing. Like I was watching something as an outsider, someone unrelated. I watched from afar without feeling anything as they lay him down and as my mother came to his side desperately. She was clutching his hand when my brother arrived and went to the other side.

Am I not a part of this family? Do I still think of them as characters, non-alive beings instead of people before my eyes? Is that why I don't feel anything? Because it doesn't matter to me what happens with them. Was I pretending that we were a loving family to ease my loneliness and pain? Was I deceiving myself all this time? Is that why I am unaffected?

„Liri, don't cry." My mother said as she stretched out her free hand towards me. What? I touched my cheeks and it was wet. Why am I crying when I feel so numb? I needed some time to think so I ran away, into my room.

I dive into my bed, pulled the cover over me and pulled my knees to my chest. How could it be? It's not supposed to be like this. We are a family, I would do anything for them, so why? Why am I unable to feel anything? I should be horrified, sad and... I don't know how I should feel!

I have no idea how many hours passed while I tried to figure out why am I like this and what kind of situation is it. Maybe it was just a few minutes. I completely lost my sense of time. The next thing I knew my mother embraced me. I recognized her forgets-me-not scent and her warmth.

„Shh, shh, my baby. Everything will be all right." She tried to soothe me. „Your father will be okay." Do I have the right to be consoled if I am like this? I felt guilty for many things. Her kindness hurt. „It's okay to feel like this." Is it? „You can let go and hide away if you want. You don't have to face this problem if you don't want to. I take care of everything." How could I? I... I suddenly felt like I was suffocating. I couldn't breathe no matter how much I tried. My mother realized something was wrong because she pulled down the blanket.

„Deep breath, darling, deep breath." She started stroking my back in a circular motion. „Slowly, that's right. Don't panic." I followed her instruction and managed to suck in some air.

„Mom..."

„Yes, mom is here with you. It's okay. „ She started to sing my like when I was a child but I couldn't hear her. I felt all of a sudden too many things. Fear, sadness, worry, desperation, indignation and... anger. I was furious about fate, or good or the writer? Whoever or whatever was responsible for this.

They went through so much, endured so many hardships and made sacrifices along the way and now this bullshit. I desperately wished for their happiness and my own after the unfortunate end of my previous life. Our happy life was at stake now. I didn't know why or how but my father's state seemed unnatural.

„How is father?" I asked after I collected myself and pulled away.

„The doctor is examining him. Your brother is with them." I could see the traces of her tears but she smiled for me.

„Why are you not with him?" It may sound like a rude question but I knew she wanted to be by his side so I didn't understand.

„I can't do anything for him right now because I can't heal or cure him but I can be here for you if you have a hard time. My daughter and son are just as important as my husband. And just because you seem fine it doesn't mean you are not hurting as much or even more. I know how much you love your father."

„And I love you too, mother." I gave her a quick hug and stood up. „Let's go back. He needs us." I held out my hand.

„Yes. Love you too, my darling." She took my hand. She looked strong for me, for our sake but on the inside, she must been scared, confused and surprised. There was nothing wrong with father yesterday.

I know some sicknesses can come out of nowhere but still. My father moved around enough, ate healthy, balanced food prepared by our chef, did not drink much alcohol at all and never complained about any pain in his body. He may worked too much and sometimes didn't get enough sleep but overall his way of life was fairly balanced. He was an orphan so it could have been some hereditary disease because we didn't know his parents but something big like that should have been mentioned in the original. This drives me crazy!

We slowly reached my parents' bedroom, my brother was in front of it with the doctor. Rihian looked haggard and a bit older than his actual age as he listened to the man with a frown on his face.

„I couldn't find anything other than sleep deprivation and overwork. He seems very healthy so I find it kind of odd that he fainted for these reasons." He looked troubled as he scratched his neck.

„Did he want back to work every night after I fell asleep?" My mom was thinking out loud. „That idiot."

My dad had a bad habit of working too hard. I mean, hard work is a good thing but not if someone goes overboard. My father just didn't know when to stop and take a break. It wasn't in the book but when he was an apprentice knight he often practised until late at night, till his hand was bleeding and he passed out from exhaustion. My mother sometimes found him, scolded him and took care of his wounds. My mom liked to tell me these stories when I was a child, still being cross with him for neglecting to take proper care of himself and my father usually looked ashamed and embarrassed.

I suddenly really missed these days. I wanted to go back and crawl into my father's embrace and just listen to my mother. But no! There is no time to start moping.

„Will the father be okay?" My little brother turned his eyes towards the doctor.

„If it's just overwork then he will wake up soon. He needs to rest more and maintain a better lifestyle in the future. But..."

„You don't have to worry, Mr. Maines. I will personally make sure that he will sleep enough and work less." My mother was smiling but she was still terrifying. Well, she is a woman who threatened her father so it's no wonder she can be scary. My father never had a chance against her.

„But..." The doctor hesitated. „If his condition not improving then please call for me and I will do everything within my power for him." He bowed then left. He lived close to our mansion so it wouldn't take long for him to get here.

He was devoted to our family just like our people and servants. My father wasn't nice but he was fairly impartial and generous to people who worked sincerely and hard. And because he was a commoner and not in a position of authority since birth he wanted to feel like he deserved his rank so he worked tirelessly for our prosperity and accumulated as much wealth as possible to never be in a vulnerable state ever again.

After the doctor left we went into their room. Mother sat at the edge of the bed, I stood at the other side and my brother sat down on the couch. We were in dead silence until he opened his eyes.

„Darling!" My mom threw herself at him. I felt some relief but I still wasn't completely calm.

„Anlilianna, kids.... What?" He looked at us with some confusion then he seemed to recall what happened. „I am sorry that I made you worry, but I am fine now."

„I swear if you try to get out of this bed anytime soon..." It seemed she was thinking about a threat that would make him take her seriously. But everyone knew she was really weak against Father, especially him. And that was the other way around too. I loved them and I was proud but sometimes their show of affection was disgusting. „I will divorce you." Wow! She must been distraught.

„Sweetheart..." He tried to pacify her. My father didn't like to use pet names and the fact that he felt the need to do this time told a lot. „I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

„What won't happen again? You won't sneak out of our bedroom after I fall asleep to work more? You won't wake up unnecessarily early to work some more? You won't skip breakfast and sleep more?" Jeez, she started to get heated. „I want to spend more time with my husband and want him to be healthy. If you won't change I will take over your work!" I guess, divorce is off the table.

„You are already managing the mansion and our social connections. I just wanted our land to prosper before handing it over to Rihian. Right now, everything is going well so maybe I should just do the handover now and go on a second honeymoon." He was deep in thought.

„Father!" My brother looked at him like he lost his mind. I wasn't sure if it was a joke or not. „I am still not ready for such responsibilities."

„Then maybe Liri... No, I don't want to burden her!" He looked at me and took my hand to squeeze it.

„Hey!" Rihian started pouting and mother laughed.

„You don't have to step down yet, just please, please take better care of yourself." She stared at him earnestly. „You will break my heart if anything happens to you." A teardrop rolled down her cheek.

„Anlili..." Their gaze met and the mood changed into something else. I grabbed my brother and left the room with him. I am sure there are things they don't want to talk about before us, so the least we can do is give them some privacy.