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Loving Lucien

[This Book Is Complete] Starlet yearns for her husband to love her but the way he was coerced into matrimony makes him hate her instead. Their two and a half years of marriage has been a miserable one for Starlet. She has had everything she has ever wanted as the daughter of the richest man in their society but what she wants most, her husband’s heart has been closed off to her. Despite the hurt he has put her through Starlet feels she can make him love her. She refuses to see any other outcome. Although the idea of her husband looking elsewhere for female company has been so far, internet articles and images of him being with another woman spark something in Starlet. Up to this point she has been taking the punishment her husband has been giving her but she has had enough. She decides that she had to show him her strengths and make him love her. She forces him to write a post nuptial agreement (which only fills him with more bitterness toward her) and underhandedly gets rid of his mistress. Somewhere along the line her husband begins to warm up to her. She feels that they may have a good married life together. Their past however make Starlet question the affection he shows. If it is true or calculated. She struggles with the decision to keep him bound to her or if loving him truly would be to let him loose. She wonders if he would be happier without her and with a woman who claims to be his first real love.

AnotidaMandemwa · สมัยใหม่
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60 Chs

Chapter 1

Starlet Blade sat at the breakfast table and stared blankly into space, her phone in her weak hand and in danger of clattering to the ground. She was in pain and nothing could end that. If someone came and stabbed her it could never hurt as bad as she hurt now. What was she going to do? How was she going to face anyone now? When she married her husband, she had been warned it would never work the way she envisioned. Her free hand curled into a fist and the other around her phone.

Her whole life was centred around one man and that same man had always hurt her. Not by anything he did to her, not always but by everything he didn't do. He never looked at her, never smiled, never cried, never shouted, nothing. She was like a piece of furniture in his life. Maybe even less than that. He never wanted her to begin with.

Star uncurled her hands and turned off the screen of her phone as she heard the footsteps of the maid come into the room. She set her face into a practised smile and turned her head to the woman.

"That smells divine," she said in her most chipper tone.

The maid smiled at her and Starlet's smile threatened to falter as she saw the sympathetic look the maid gave her. She got a lot of those but she felt the urge to cry and scream whenever she got one of those. She should be the envy of the city, damn it! She was the wife of the Lucien Blade and the only daughter of Bob Marks, both very successful men. She too was very successful, but who cared? All they saw was a pitiful woman with a husband who didn't give a shit about her.

She took a forkful of her waffles and carefully chewed. The housekeeper had worked hard to make this and she was going to eat it. Even if that was the last thing she wanted. Even if it felt like she would choke if she swallowed.

"You're Starlet Blade," she mentally reminded herself. "You will not show weakness. You will not let them see you cry. You will get through your day if it's the last thing you do."

So, she choked down her pancakes. Brightly thanked the housekeeper as she cleared the table and went to her studio upstairs where she allowed herself a few tears before going to work on her sculpture. This area was where she escaped the reality of her failing fairytale.

Her alarm went off at noon and she stood back to examine her work. It was a woman lying on the ground, her knees drawn to her chest, one arm clutching at her chest and the other under her head. A curtain of hair covered part of her face but what could be seen of it moulded into permanent misery.

Starlet brushed off the piece with some finishing touches and put it in the oven. She had been working on this piece for a week and was glad at how it turned out. She usually took inspiration from her cousin's work but this one was one of the rare ones where her emotions came out. As she was setting the timer for her sculpture her phone began to ring. The caller ID said it was her cousin, Charlotte. She smiled her first genuine smile of the day and answered the phone.

"Lottie," she said the childhood nickname slipping off her tongue easily. "We still have lunch today, yes?"

"Yes, but we need to change the venue," Charlotte said and there was a hint of guilt in her voice.

"Why?" Star said with suspicion.

"I just need to talk with you…" was the hesitant response. "In private."

"Is everything okay?" Star said worriedly. Charlotte's antics were endless and she had needed Charlotte to bail her out of nearly dangerous situations in the past. "Are you okay? Just tell me what you need, cousin."

"I'm fine." Charlotte reassured, "I just need to talk to you, privately and urgently, before it reaches anyone else. I will bring company, don't worry about the food. I will pick it up on my way."

"If that's what you need, you got it." Starlet said and Charlotte uttered a quick "Oh good. See you at one!" before hanging up.

Starlet looked at her phone in bemusement as if it would give her answers to her cousin's odd behaviour. Charlotte and her twin brother had practically grown up with Starlet as their parents were always travelling for business and my mother was almost always hands-on. She knew the twins like siblings and as far as she could remember Charlotte has always been open with her. Well, Charlotte was coming over and whatever it was, Starlet was going to have to wait until then. She picked up the cordless phone that was for connections in the house and let her housekeeper know to call her down when Charlotte arrived. Starlet set off to clear her workstation, not wanting clay to dry on her tools and desk.

With tools now clean, dry and in their place, she sat down and did what she had done that morning. She did a Google search of her husband. The article she had seen that morning wasn't there anymore. She almost wondered if she had imagined but she knew better. She had grown up with power at her fingertips.

When Charlotte rang the doorbell, Starlet was turning off her sculpting oven. She let her housekeeper get the door. A few moments later the cordless phone in her studio rang and she picked it up.

"Mrs Blade, your guests are in the kitchen." Her housekeeper said.

"Okay, thank you, Ms Wade. I'll be down in a minute." Star said and hung up. Star checked herself in the mirror. Perfection was everything she didn't want to go down with a smudge on her face. She didn't want to go down with traces of the tears she had shed.

When Starlet got to the kitchen, she could hear three people mumbling in the kitchen. She wondered who Charlotte and brought and what she had done… Or what she was up to. She did not expect to see her sister-in-law, Octavia, and her friend, Xiamie.

"Girl party?" Starlet asked.

"More like a wake-up call," Octavia mumbled and then flinched and glared at Charlotte.

Xiamie sent her a warning glare and turned with a smile to Starlet.

"We haven't been out together in a while, don't you think?" She said and looked at Charlotte who was dishing food from takeout boxes onto a plate.

"Yeah, it's been a while," Starlet said as she took a seat at the kitchen table. "It's actually a wonder we're in the same city at the same time." She added with a smile.

"I flew in this morning," Octavia said poking at a spot on the table.

"I've been here for a week," Xiamie said with a frown.

Charlotte placed plates of pasta in front of everyone. "Lunch is served." She said with aplomb.

"You didn't even reheat it!" Octavia complained as she took a bite.

"You can starve for all I care," Charlotte said with a smirk.

Xiamie and Starlet gave each other knowing grins at this exchange. The two had always bickered but they got along well.

When the meal was finished the four women moved to the sitting room.

"So… I wanted to talk to you, Lattie," Charlotte said to Star. Switching to a nickname only close family members and friends used.

"I was wondering how long it would take you," Octavia said.

"Suck it, Vivie," Charlotte responded automatically at the same time Xiamie elbowed Octavia.

"It's about Lucien," Charlotte said and Starlet felt herself stiffen. Nothing good was expected when it was about Lucien. Not since she married him. Maybe not even before that.

"He was seen kissing a woman, last night," Xiamie said gently. "The article said he was seen entering her residence and didn't leave. It has been removed from circulation but people are still talking."

"It's just rumours." Starlet heard herself say.

"Oh, my word!" Octavia exclaimed impatiently and earned glares from two pairs of eyes. "There are pictures, Star! It's that bitch Ayanda Hill. And he's in this city. He's been here for the past month! He wasn't home and I can bet he wasn't here but he was seen with Ayanda."

Starlet felt the shock ride her body.

"He's in the city?" Starlet said in shock.

She had seen the headlines but had not read the article. She had not had the courage. Usually, Lucien did his deeds far away from home. Away from prying eyes. It always got to her, yes, but he had never before made his way to publicly humiliate her like this.

"Yes," Octavia said more gently. "He is my brother. I love him but you know where I stand with you two being together. He is a dick for hurting you this way but as I told you all those years ago, you were being a stubborn fool for marrying him."

Xiamie moved to sit next to Star and took her stiff hand. Usually, she would pull away but she couldn't. She wasn't in her head.

"We're here for you," Xiamie said gently. "We didn't want you finding out from anyone else."

"Richard spoke with your parents," Charlotte said. "They will minimise the damage on the business front but they are holding the down fort waiting for your move."

"Dad will be furious," Starlet said in a daze.

"My brother is a dick," Octavia said simply.

"What do I do?" Starlet said almost to herself. "Why does he do this to me?"

"He's a dick." Octavia said, "Dicks do things only other dicks would understand. And you know he was backed into a corner when it came to marrying you, I explicitly told you!"

"Vivie!" Charlotte and Xiamie scolded.

"What? I did tell her. And I told her I would remind her that I told her so when the day came!" Octavia wasn't letting up.

"Vivie!" Charlotte was angry.

The room went silent for a few seconds. No one was sure how to fill the silence but Starlet surprised everyone including herself by laughing. It was that or cry.

Her father had bought shares of the Blade's major company and had become one of its major shareholders. With that, he weaselled himself into being on the board of directors and threatened to shift management away from Lucien Blade. His ultimate goal was to get Lucien to agree to marry his only daughter, Starlet. The reason her father had set her betrothal up with Lucien to begin with was to ward off the vultures and it helped that Starlet had only ever loved him. Her father had also approved of Lucien because the man wasn't as powerful as Star would be when she inherited the Marks fortune.

Lucien of course began dating Starlet and she thought he had finally seen how she felt about him. He never talked about her father's scheme. He thought she was in on it. She agreed to marry him and when she learned of the scheme from his sister she refused to turn back. She thought that if he didn't love her, the care that he showed her would one day become love. What a fool she was. She now knew better. He hated her and he had said as much on their honeymoon. There was nothing she could do to prove to him that she had not made the move to trap him. In her mind, by moving on with the marriage, she was as guilty and as cunning as her father.

Her laughter turned to hiccups and then to sobs.

What should I do? She thought to herself.

Xiamie was hugging Starlet and Charlotte was rubbing her back. Octavia was standing by the side and she reached to pat Star on the head awkwardly.

When the sobs subsided, Starlet was feeling embarrassed and spent.

"I'm sorry." She said to no one in particular. She wiped at her face and then saw Xiamie's soaked blouse.

"My word goodness, Xiamie. I'm sorry!" she exclaimed.

"It's okay," Xiamie said gently. "You needed to let it out somehow."

"You can pick anything from my wardrobe, I have pieces I have never touched," Starlet said, her role as hostess filling her up and taking over her demeanour. She ushered the other woman to her walk-in closet and gave her privacy to change.

When she got downstairs, she met Charlotte who looked concerned and Octavia who looked uncomfortable.

"I need to go," Octavia said apologetically. Hesitated and then said, "Will you be okay?"

Starlet smiled sadly and nodded her head. "I'll be fine, don't worry Vi."

Once Octavia was gone Charlotte sat down and put her head in her hands.

"You cried." She said her tone disbelieving. "You never cry. You always said crying was a show of weakness and you cried. Your love for Lucien Blade has melted your armour."

"It's not a weakness to cry," Xiamie said as she walked into the room, one of Starlet's new blouses in place of the tear-stained one.

"You would think that," Charlotte said gently, "But we had to find out the hard way. We never showed weakness. Our parents tried to protect us but they could not be everywhere."

"I'm sorry," Xiamie said in response.

"It's not your fault," Charlotte said and turned back to your cousin. "You have a weak spot, cousin. I have tried to cuddle you into seeing it but maybe Octavia's harsh approach is what you need." Her phone buzzed and she cursed when she glanced at it. "I have an appointment. I have to go, Star." She looked around for her purse and Xiamie said with an eye roll "You left your purse in your car."

"Oh, yeah," Charlotte said and then turned back to her cousin. "Think about it, Lettie. Has anything changed since you got married?"

"I have to go too," Xiamie said. "Call me if you need me."

"Me too," Charlotte said as she hurriedly kissed her cousin on the cheek. "Richard and I can be your swords, anytime. Bye!!!" she waved as she went out the door.

Left alone, Starlet's mind went over what her cousin had said. How long could she continue to let Lucien hurt her? How long would she let the world look at her as the wife of an adulterous man? How long would she take him ignoring her and acting like she didn't exist? She was tired. She couldn't take it anymore. She had reached her breaking point. She loved him, but she had taken enough of him hurting her.

However she decided to deal with her bastard husband, she had to be fine. Whatever she did, she had to show him a taste of her strength. She had played nice for two and a half years. She had to draw the lines somewhere. She had always been raised to be strong and flawless. He was the weak spot and flaw in her armour. It was time to fix that. Loving Lucien hurt her more than the deadliest poison could ever. It was time to give up and let go.

She could love him from afar.

She could, but she'd rather he loved her back.

I know she comes off a a touch delusional. Trust me, this was intentional from the first draft. That's what has remained the same from all those years ago.

Writing this chapter was the first step to puting this story out there. It's (a little over) 2500 words of emotionally drainig myself.

I hope you loved it.

Cheers!

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