The Binding of the One Ring and the Call to War

"Jesus, kid. You smell like shit." I scolded my son as he turned up before my throne looking absolutely exhausted, strung out, and if we were in an anime with visible stench lines radiating off him.

"I have a delivery to complete!" the wide eyed elf shouted as he fumbled with his chest plate.

"What ever it is can wait till after you hit the bath house, kid." I told him, "Don't come back until you've scrubbed… vigorously…twice."

"It cannot wait any longer!" he bit back wildly, "It has waited too long already!"

He finished fishing out a simple band of gold on a chain around his neck, and the assembled court fell completely silent.

I looked at my son and grinned, "Did you go see Bilbo without me?"

"I did." Uanor nodded and approached the throne.

"Did the part were the Goblins sang 'Fifteen Birds in Five Fir Trees' really happen?" I asked with an eager smile on my face.

My son smiled back and affirmed with another nod.

"Oh goody." I laughed, "That was more important than bringing me the Ring, but I won't say no to such a fine gift."

I took the One Ring and tore it from the chain slipping it onto my right ring finger were it sat below the New Ring on my index finger, and let me tell you… what a fucking rush!

The majority of Sauron's power joined to me with nary a whimper as the burning script on the One Ring glowed red as the script on the New Ring glowed blue, and with a minor effort of will both changed to purple as they submitted to their true master.

The members of the court gasped as an ethereal purple shockwave exploded out from me, throwing them to the ground and blowing out the windows I worked so hard teaching my Uruks to make.

Sometimes power comes at a dear price.

With the powers of one of the greatest Maiar added to my own I gained more than some extra pep in my step, but a new set of abilities to explore including the physical manipulation of the world around me through my will and shapeshifting.

Like I'd ever disgrace my meat temple with that bullshit.

Anyway, Sauron was a has-been B team but he was still a creation god, and that's big money in the right hands.

In my hands.

With a mental push Uanor went from a rode hard put away wet ragamuffin to a proper Prince of Mordor once more, and with another the air around my cock became a wondrous lube.

Oh yes, mine are the proper hands for the powers of a creation god.

I turned the lube back into a fresh breeze in my briefs and smiled a little grin just for myself, but soon that grin became much much wider.

"What is that?" Uanor questioned as did many others of the phantasmal drums of war.

"It's a call." I told them with the barest hint of wistful remembrance in my tone, "A call to war."

"Who calls? Eltariel asked as she frowned at the resonance in her very soul.

"Me, baby." I laughed, "I am calling me to war. Somewhere, sometime. And we are going."

I reached up my ringed hand into the air and took hold of the line of power drawing us to war across the Omniverse, and shining blue motes of magic burst across all of Middle Earth gathering all those loyal to me, live and dead.

We appeared marching on a bridge of glowing mana across the expanses of universes to our left and to our right. Our wargear materialized around our bodies, weapons in hand. Our mounts appeared beneath us, and my great red wyvern led the host of Mordor along the path. Many of the beasts we slew arrived as well, Graugs, Trolls, and other such nonsense.

Time meant nothing to us as we advanced across all that is, all that was, and all that is to be, for every step, every trot, every beat of wings filled our hearts with greater yearning for battle. Distance meant nothing to us as we left universes behind and passed universes ahead, for we marched with glorious purpose.

And when our army came through the golden gate and onto familiar wastes fielding two great armies our faith was fully rewarded.

I saw them all, my children and friends of adventures passed arrayed against a host of all the gods and goddesses and their worshippers of earth, each and every one of us bolstered by the magic of this summoning into heroic spirits and beyond.

With a giant smile I roared, "Did you people think you could have an Ultimate Showdown without the Orcs of Mordor?"