Chapter 9: Failed Dreams & Broken Souls

Reaching the incident part of his story, Midoriya paused. For a moment he just sat there, not moving or speaking, seemingly still deciding on what to say next before he finally spoke.

"I don't blame Kacchan. Well not completely anyway. I don't really know if I've forgiven him for his part but I also know that it wasn't completely his fault."

Midoriya sighed as he relived the day he was trying to push away for what he hoped was the last time.

"On that day, I met my all time favorite hero. I was walking home from the store when this gooey like villain came and just scooped me up, holding me against itself like a shield. Before I knew it a loud bang rang out all around me and just like that there he was, All Might. The greatest hero known to Japan. I was both terrified and excited. He looked at me and told me everything would be ok, and of course I believed him. All I heard was the sound of wind before I was being placed down a little ways away from where I was previously being held captive. I turned and the villain was gone, all that stood in its place was All Might. I hadn't realized I had started blabbering until out of nowhere I asked him if I could be a hero like him. I told him I was quirkless but I still had my dreams of becoming a hero. He was quiet for a while until he simply stated."

'No. It would be too dangerous for someone with no quirk to become a hero, it's best to give up now than get hurt later on.'

"I was shocked, I hadn't expected this to be his answer and so I just bowed in thanks and left. In a haze I called my mother and told her I'd be late because I had to retrieve something from school. I just walked the rest of the way there in a daze before finally finding myself sitting on the edge of my school's roof. Not long after, Kacchan appeared, I don't really remember what he was saying but I think he was trying to get me to come back onto the roof. It didn't work. All I could think was, *I have nothing else.* and that's all, next I know I'm standing in front of Kacchan's house as a ghost. Well, that's my story."

'I- I'm so sorry that that happened, Midoriya. I had no idea. I mean, I figured it would be bad but this- I'm just sorry…' Kirishima stammered out, not really knowing what to say to all of this new information.

"Thank you, Kirishima. You don't know how much that means to me. I regret not being able to keep going, I just felt so worthless. The time I've spent here has been amazing, learning all about heros and it leaves me wondering if I could have been able to experience all this if I had lived. Probably not though, I was still quirkless after all."

'I don't believe that even for a second Midoriya, I have always believed that if you just work for the things you want all will turn out the way it's meant to be. I can't say for sure whether you would have become a hero or not but I do believe that if given the chance, you could have done so many great things in your life.'

As the two drifted into silence once more, all of what Midoriya had just let out, weighed on Kirishima's mind. The combination of Bakugou's ignorance and All-Might's rejection had been able to completely tear down this bright boy, and that's not even adding to the bullying he had received for being quirkless. All he knew was that some things needed to change, he didn't yet know how he was supposed to start it but he knew he needed to try. After all, that is what a Hero was supposed to do.

*******

(WARNING: This part of the chapter talks about overdose & self-harm. Proceed with caution.)

Not long after they're conversation, Midoriya left. Bakugou knew it was for the best as he needed time to think and he was sure Midoriya did as well.

If what he read in the book he got from Mortem was to be believed, then wasn't it partially his fault for Midoriya not being able to move on in peace? Was it all his fault yet again?

He hadn't realized how long he sat in his chair, spaced out, before flashes of before Midoriya had showed up as a Ghost came to him in a nauseating nightmare.

*****

One week after the incident.

Midoriya was gone. And Bakugou had shut himself away from the world. His thoughts tormenting him on repeat.

'It's your fault.' 'You killed him.' 'Die.'

If only he hadn't been too afraid to be seen as weak by others, maybe he could have stayed Midoriya's friend and this would have never happened.

These thoughts played on a loop neverending until it became too much and he shut down.

It was now two weeks since the 'incident', the funeral to be held in only a few days.

He wasn't planning on going though. He didn't deserve to. And even his father couldn't change his mind on that.

So for three weeks that's where Bakugou stayed, locked away in his room not even coming out to eat. At this point he looked dead, that's what he deserved anyway so who was he to complain. He had only been drinking water every so often, the pains of hunger being a temporary distraction from the dark thoughts plaguing his brain. But not even hunger pains lasted long as he got used to his body being malnourished. So instead he decided to take some pills he found in the bathroom cabinet, he didn't know what they were, not caring to find out. all he knew was that when he took enough of them, he'd feel immense pain that would grant him temporary freedom from his own mind.

He didn't know how much time had passed or how many pills he'd taken before dehydration & one too many pills caused him to black out. When he came to, he was hooked up to a few tubes in a hospital bed.

He spent one week in the hospital before he was finally released on the promise that his parents would get him the help he needed.

2 months after the incident.

Bakugou had been in therapy for his attempted suicide and self harm. He hadn't wanted to go; but he had had no choice in the matter. All things considered, he'd say this was the best option, he had realized his mistakes and had tried to continue to become a hero in Midoriya's honor. Although he still struggled with his thoughts, he now had a goal, even if he was undeserving of it.

He'd get into their dream school & become the number one hero. And then maybe, just maybe, he could face the boy who was once called his childhood friend.