Battle of New York

"Onward Captain Crunch!" I screamed as we tore out of the New York Sanctum Sanctorum, "Onward to battle!"

My eldritch horse and sword spear burnt brightly as I filled them with my Chi, not burn your retinas out bright I had at least figured that out, and now held that lowkey as a cheeky blind in case anyone actually ever manages to step to me.

My blood red master's robes flowed behind me as Captain Crunch carried me into the oncoming tide of Chitari soldiers. Behind me flew a company of Kates in her purple robes wielding her evil shamshir.

It made for a very cinematic view experience as we charged into the gaping blue asshole in the sky spewing out alien invaders on hover chariots.

"O…kaaaay?" Iron Man uttered as we passed him by and began reaping Chitari lives like we attached a blender to our end of the portal.

When the first of their space flying armored whale troop transports came through I grew the blade of my sword spear to massive proportions and shouted, "I am Markus Sebastian Grayson, and this is not your world to invade!"

By shouting something cool like that I guaranteed my attack would do something equally cool, or fizzle out if I was some kind of joke character. As I am a man stained in a thousand years of blood, my attack completely bisected the space whale, and I had Captain Crunch carry me beyond the portal, the horse galloping through space as easily as he had through the air.

"Ahhahhhahhaa!" I laughed as I swung my oversize sword around in the darkness of space, sundering giant Chitari wales with every swing as I closed in on the mothership.

Holding my giant glowing sword like a lance I put the spurs to Captain Crunch who now pushed his speed up as fast as I was able too. We tore through the mothership like a knife through hot butter, spreading a maximum amount of Chi infused sparks that went off like proton torpedoes to completely tear the massive ship in half.

This of course instantly killed all the Chitari and I was left blinking in realization that I completely anti-climaxed the battle in one awesomely cinematic attack.

"Well… shit." I muttered as I galloped back down through the portal.

"Aliens are all dead." I grumbled as I passed by Kate and Iron Man.

"What? Why?" Kate huffed.

"The mothership was a kill switch. Once I hit it they all died remotely." I groused.

"That sucks." Kate complained, "We haven't staved off a good alien invasion is so long."

"You do realize that New York is right below us, right?" Tony asked, "And who the hell are you people?"

"Dude, I just yelled out my name during my attack." I told him.

"Kate Cha." Kate informed him as she reabsorbed her clones.

"Are you guys wizards?" Tony asked.

"Yeah." I sighed, "And as you can tell we worked really hard at it. Then this… disappointment of a battle was our payoff."

We made our way down to Stark Tower were Loki fought against Thor, scepter to hammer.

"You!" I shouted, "The man in green. Please tell me you have some way to call in reinforcements."

"I'd prefer if he didn't."

"Yeah well, get to our level and then you can make these kinds of calls." Kate spat, "And seriously, call for backup. My partner wrecked your Chitari and now we all have battle blue balls."

"I'm sorry," Loki chuckled mirthlessly as he disengaged Thor, "Who exactly are you people?"

"This is Mark and Kate. Their wizards." Tony introduced us.

"Ah yes, the pathetic spell flingers of Earth, don't worry… the god of magic will see you after I finish off my brother and his friends.

I slid off Captain Crunch and appeared before Loki in a cracking burst of speed, grabbing him by the lapel and lifting him into the air.

"You'll see me now, boy." I growled.

Loki responded by trying to poke me in the chest with his mind control staff, but I grabbed the shining blue orb at its heart and shattered it, coming away with the glowing golden ingot of creation, the Mind Stone.

The Jotun masquerading as an Asgardian looked at the scepter now missing its core, then looked at me, then looked at the scepter, then back to me.

"Oh shi…" I interrupted him with a right uppercut to the chin that put him on his back with his lights out.

I flew up to the highest level of Stark Tower and to the device holding open the portal in the sky. With the Mind Stone in hand I plunged my fist into the beam and took hold of the Tesseract, shattering it in my fingers and taking the Space Stone away for my trouble, storing both in my Fanny Pack of Infinite Capacity.

"That's a wrap folks." I declared as I floated back down.

"Nah." Tony denied, "I saw you take something out of the scepter, and I bet you took a little something something from the Tesseract too."

I chuckled and tipped my imaginary hat to him, "Clever girl, Stark. You're a great man, with a hell of a suit and some good friends," I nodded to the Hulk and Thor who stood next to him, "I'd take you guys over almost anyone… almost anyone, but there are plenty of folks in this universe who can take you all into deep waters and drown you in them, I am not one of those people. I am the deep waters. So just forget what you saw and be happy that I cleaned up this mess."

I strode over to them with each word, causing Thor and Hulk to push Tony back.

"We aren't going to let you just leave, not with whatever it is you took." Tony declared.

I looked up at Hulk, straight into his dark eyes and I grinned, "I know."

I sucker punched Thor in the guts and snatched his hammer out of his hands. The thunderous crack of Mjolnir against Hulks chin snapped his head to the side and the big green rage machine went down for the count.

A bolt of lightning came down on me as I raised the hammer in victory and I smiled at the stunned Thor held in self doubting thrall by the sight of me and unable to get off his knees.

"No. Nonono." he mumbled.

"Is this how you always feel?" I chuckled as magic lighting arced across my body, "It's got some zip no doubt… but I don't need it."

I let the hammer fall, and it landed lightly on the roof of Stark Tower.

"Work on using your powers without the hammer. Know who you are without it, and you'll never feel that desperation again." I told the Prince of Asgard.

With that I opened a portal back to the Sanctum and Kate and I made our exit.

"Two down, four to go!" I shouted while pumping my fists at hip level.

"What exactly did we get today?" Kate inquired.

"Two of the six Ingots of creation." I grinned as I pulled out both the glowing gold and blue stones, "The power of the mind, and space."

"Like spatial manipulation?" she questioned as she looked at the blue Space Stone.

"Mmmhhhmmm." I hummed in response.

"Jesus Christ, that stone controls space?" she chuckled, "That is so ridiculously OP."

"I know. Out of this specific universe it's a paper weight, but inside this universe it is one of the two most powerful objects in existence. Only the Reality Stone is as immediately dangerous."

"There is a fucking stone that just… controls reality? You have to be joking." Kate demanded.

"I'm not and it is as frighteningly powerful as you are thinking it is." I chuckled.

"And you are just going to wear these things on your belt." she accused.

"Damn straight." I laughed.

"Who was the woman?" Kate finally asked about the third person with us when we went back in time.

"Hela Odinsdottir." I answered.

"Norse mythology sounds fucked in this verse." Kate shrugged.

"They are actually aliens a lot like the Viltrumites except way way weaker." I told her, "They conquered nine specific planets that are connected by the cosmic super highway Yggdrasil, but then Odin got tired of being a conqueror and pulled back to Asgard. His daughter took exception to this and he locked her up in an interdimensional prison, Hel, after his other methods of bringing her in failed."

"That… is so stupid." Kate shook her head, "Once you conquer something take some fucking responsibility."

"I'd like to take some responsibility right now." I growled at her.

"Really, now?" Kate chuckled.

"We have a year till the next big opportunity, might as well have a kid, or two if we land twins again." I grinned.

"Just what I need. Kids spoiling my vacation." Kate groused.

"Tell you what. After I snag the Reality Stone during the convergence I'll take the kids and you can fight the Dark Elf armies that come looking for it." I offered, "Just watch out for their black hole bombs. Those things are savage."

Kate put her hands on her hips and thought about it.

"Fine." she smirked.