Bad Game

Roko weaved and ducked around Seoul's attacks. The man seemed to have a few knives strapped to his body but he didn't seem keen on using them. Maybe he wanted a fair and honorable fight or maybe those knives were just for decoration. At this point, it could be either option. Roko did pack a sword with him but it was strapped to the side of his backpack and honestly, he didn't feel like wasting the effort to take it out. Nor did he feel like he needed it.

"Hahahaha!" Seoul laughed as he continued swinging, "You're pretty strong, dodging all these attacks with that large backpack on! Guess you're no ordinary traveler!"

"And you're no ordinary road inspector." Roko replied, "Are you actually a water inspector? Or perhaps you're even a sky inspector? No wait, don't tell me you're a sun inspector!"

"What the hell are you on about?!" Seoul roared as he threw a heavy punch at Roko's head.

Roko ducked down, letting the punch sail over him as he drew his own fist back and landed a counter punch into the bandit's side.

"Gwaugh!" Seoul stumbled back, "Tch. You're a slippery one aren't ya?"

"I'm a lot of things." Roko sighed as he stood up again, "Not the least of which is tired of this. Can you just let me pass already?"

"Not after attacking my men like that! Now it's a matter of pride!"

"I don't think you have anything you can be proud of."

"Shut up! Get him boys!"

Seoul snapped his fingers and the bandit from earlier along with either Jimmy or Johnny jumped Roko at the sides, along with two other bandits, the four of them latching onto his arms and legs and holding him in place.

"Hahahaha!" Seoul laughed triumphantly, "You forget that we're bandits! We don't play fair! Now, we'll take our sweet time taking revenge for what you done to my boys!"

Roko just stood there, arms and legs pinned down as he stared at the bandit boss, "...Why don't you just use your knives?"

Seoul's laughing stopped for a bit as he considered Roko's words. Confusion continued to cloud his face as he struggled to come up with an answer to Roko's question. Eventually he just stuttered, "Sh-Shut up! I'll beat your face in!"

Seoul stepped towards Roko, trying to look as intimidating as he could as he raised his fist to punch Roko instead of grabbing a knife.

"Ice!"

A blast of ice soared over Roko's head and slammed into Seoul's face, icing it over immediately as the bandit fell to the ground.

"Boss!" The bandits cried, horrified.

"Alright, get off of him already you knuckleheads!" Roland called as he waved his sword at the bandits holding Roko down, dislodging them.

"Another headshot!" Helena grinned as she walked up to Roko, "Man, I'm getting good at this! Heya, Roko! Surprised to see us?"

"You literally said you were packing up last time we met." Roko sighed, "And out of everyone I know, you were the one I was certain would tag along no matter what I said."

"Great! So now that we're all on the same page, let's get going to the next city!" Helena clapped, "First we restock and then the elves!"

"There's going to be a lot more traveling involved before the elves part." Roland sighed as well, "Man, I'm already starting to regret coming here."

"What's wrong Roland?" Helena said, "I thought you'd be excited to do some camping."

"What's supposed to be fun about camping?!" Roland cried, "You and I have very different ideas about what's fun!"

"Yeah? Then why'd you say you wanted to come along?"

"I didn't!"

"No, you said you were down because of the hot female elves." Roko interjected.

"That's true, you did say that." Helena nodded.

"...Whatever, let's just get going." Roland grumbled as sheathed his sword.

40 minutes later…

"And so I told Anna that she'll get her three million gold when she graduates." Helena explained.

"How'd she take it?" Roko asked.

"Well she grumbled and moaned but that's what Zadkiel decided so there's nothing either of us could do."

"Sounds right." Roko shrugged, "Anyway, hold that thought."

Roko, Helena and Roland stopped in the middle of the road again as an even larger group of bandits stood there waiting for them. And sure enough, Roko could recognize Seoul along with the guy that was either Jimmy or Johnny. But this time, there was an even bigger and muscular man standing next to Seoul.

"That's them, brother!" Seoul cried as he pointed at them, "That's the group that beat us up!"

"Well well well." The bigger bandit brother sneered, "So we finally meet."

"...Do we know you?" Helena asked.

"You don't know us but we know you." The bandit replied.

"Oh no, does he know I'm a princess?!" Helena cried.

"YOU'RE A PRINCESS?!" All of the bandits cried, absolutely flabbergasted.

"...No..."

"Oh okay." The bandits seemed to look equal parts relieved and disappointed. The bigger brother bandit cleared his throat before he continued, "It seems like you've been treating my boys pretty well!"

"Yeah I know, they're all still alive." Roko scoffed, "Imagine that, who would be nice enough to let their opponent's live after all that?"

"You couldn't kill us even if you tried!" Seoul shouted.

"Wanna bet?" Roko said, irritated.

"I've seen your skills. You and your friends." The bandit tapped the side of his temple with a sly grin, "So I know you can't possibly defeat all of US!"

And with a grand gesture, even more bandits appeared from the trees, surrounding the trio of travelers with knives and swords and nasty looking grins.

"Hehe, see I'm no ordinary bandit." The bandit brother sneered, "I think you'll find that I am more intelligent than the average Joe. For I am the Uther Badguy! Genius Bandit!"

"..."

"Scared speechless huh?" Seoul jeered, "My big brother's gonna make you regret ever messing with us!"

"So your plan is just more guys?" Helena said.

"I...well yeah."

"Not much of a plan then is it?" Roland scoffed.

"Shut up! Get em, boys!"

The bandits all cheered as they inched closer at the group, their sneering and laughing almost covering up the sound of footsteps running at them from behind.

"Hah!"

Everyone's eyes turned up as a figure jumped up into the air above everyone.

"Lightning!"

Three bolts of lightning dropped from the sky and blasted the three groups of bandits surrounding Roko's group, electrocuting and knocking them all out before the figure landed in front of the bandit leaders.

"What the-" Uther was surprised by the sudden intrusion but quickly raised a fist to retaliate.

Momo deflected the bandit's attack and pulled her fist back.

"Lightning!" Momo cried as the spells cloaked her fist in electricity and slammed it into Uther's stomach, twisting it as energy built up and blasted Uther through the goons behind him and across the ground a dozen meters away.

"BROTHER!" Seoul cried, horrified as he ran to his brother's side.

"Hey Roko!" Momo turned around with cheery grin on her face, "Fancy meeting you here! I was just out getting field experience for my thesis! Now that I'm here, wanna help each other out?"

"Yeah sure, whatever." Roko sighed, "Thanks for the help regardless."

"No problem! Just leave all the fighting to me!"

"Don't do all the fighting. Roland still needs to do his job." Helena grinned.

"I've been doing my job everyday." Roland grumbled.

"Anyway, the bandits all seemed to have cleared out." Momo said as she looked around, "Let's keep moving!"

An hour and twenty minutes later…

"So like, I wanted to bring Melia along but she worked so hard to get into Memoria Auspice, I'd feel bad to take her away from it already for so long." Helena chatted.

"Makes sense." Roko nodded.

"I also wanted to invite Oto but she was busy with her movies so she didn't have time."

"Thank god."

"Hey uhh..." Momo spoke up, "So they're back."

Roko heaved a heavy sigh as he turned back to the road where Seoul and Uther's bandit gang was once again blocking the road.

"We were so close to the town." Roko rubbed his eyes, "Alright, what'dya want?"

"The same as we always wanted." Seoul said, "Your goods and some revenge."

"What happens twice shall happen a third time, I guess." Roko sighed, "And what do you have up your sleeve this time?"

"Hehe. Tell him big brother." Seoul sneered.

"Haha, of course little brother." Uther grinned as he fixed his glasses, "Come now! Littlest brother!"

The round began to shake as a large monster of a man stepped up behind the two bandit brothers. His size towered over Roko with muscles that were even more exaggerated than Bedlam.

"Oh my god!" Helena cried, "How much drugs did you pump into this guy?!"

"This is not the result of drugs!" Uther scowled, "This is the result of dedicated training and natural talent!"

"If by natural talent, you mean androgens." Roland muttered.

"Seriously, how old is this guy?" Momo frowned.

"15."

"15?!" Helena cried, "That's only a few years older than Aida! And he's as big as a horse carriage! Horse included!"

"Bwahahaha! Now you know the true terror of the Badguy Bandits!" Seoul boasted, "Feel free to prostate yourselves on the ground, begging for mercy!"

"Sorry but it's another day that ends in y so I can't do that." Roko replied.

"Yeah, I've actually been meaning to go to the beach since I hear the ocean's blue today so I'm too busy to do that." Helena added.

"The sun rose in the east today so I'm obligated not to do anything like that today." Momo said.

"Fuck you, I ain't doin shit!" Roland shouted as he held up two middle fingers.

"Heh. You guys are a mouthy as always." Uther smirked, "But we'll see how long that'll last! Get him my little brother! Show them the power of Anoter Badguy!"

The giant man known as Anoter roared and beat his chest as the bandits began cheering again. Roko's group began to prepare themselves for combat until they head voices coming from behind them.

"And that's how I saved my wife from a legion of goblins."

"Oh my, how courageous."

"Wait, I know that voice." Helena said as she spun around, "Kaguya?!"

"Oh good, we finally caught up." Kaguya smiled, "Good afternoon, Roko, everyone. I'm here to join you. Forgive me for being so late, I had to wrap up doing the paperwork for all of us."

"Oh sweet, you did my paperwork for me?" Helena grinned, "Thanks!"

"And where does this guy come in?" Roko asked as he pointed at the merchant next to her.

"Ah, you're that fellow from earlier!" The merchant that had been offering a mercenary service to him as he was leaving Galia smiled jovially at him, "To think that we'd meet each other again like this!"

"This man was offering to help protect me on the way to the next town. I know I have Mikado here but one can never be too safe. And from what this gentleman was saying it sounded real dangerous so I paid extra for the manager to personally assist us until the next town."

"That's right, lass and I see you seem to have a big problem right here in front of you!" The merchant walked past them to stare down the Badguy Bandits, most of whom seem taken aback, "Now what are all of you people doing here?"

"Umm...uhhh..." The bandit leaders looked confused and concerned.

"Well, no matter. I'll defeat the lot of you by myself if I have to. This is the mark of a true professional."

The bandit leaders seemed to huddle up and began a rather hurried and hushed discussion. They disbanded shortly and turned back to the mercenary merchant, "I don't know why you'd bother fighting all of us but we won't stop until we get out revenge and steal all your goods!"

"Very good! Come and I'll end each of your lowly bandits!" The merchant grinned.

"Now now." Kaguya said as she stepped up beside the merchant, "Perhaps we can resolve this peacefully yet."

"Peacefully?" The merchant blinked, "You want to talk to them?"

"Indeed." Kaguya nodded with a smile before turning to the bandits, "How about it? Is there any chance we can convince you to leave?"

"Leave?" The bandits looked unsure, "I mean, uh, no way! We're not leaving until we get what we want!"

"Classic bandit thinking." The merchant shook his head, "There's no reasoning with them."

"How about money?" Kaguya asked, "How much would it take to have you leave?"

"Umm...T-There's no point in trying to bribe us! We can just take all the money we want off you once we kill you!"

"Money and goods aren't going to work huh?" Kaguya sighed, "Well, how about a hostage?"

"Eh?"

Kaguya's arm went up and wrapped around the merchant's shoulder, knife suddenly in her hand as she pointed it right at his throat.

"W-Whoa!" The bandits cried, shocked and perturbed.

"Miss?!" The merchant yelped, completely taken aback, "What's the meaning of this?"

"Oh, I've been doing a bit of research, you see." Kaguya smiled as she looked across at the bandits, "How Galia's roads seemed to suddenly develop a bandit problem. How there seemed to be a main group of previously unknown marauders and how a mercenary service being peddled by a shrew businessman sprung up not long afterwards. And at how frighteningly effective this company's protection was. Why, they never seemed to lose. Not a single instance of their mercenaries being overwhelmed by a surprisingly amount of enemies nor did this service of previously unknown mercenaries seem to lack the skill for their now infamous bandit enemies. Truly a wondrous service at a most opportune and profitable time."

"W-What are you saying?"

"Imagine my shock when I did a little digging and a report came up of a lanky, rotund man sneaking off into the forest in the middle of the night. And then there was the report of some merchant looking fellow speaking to the bandits in their own camp. Could you imagine the scandal? If the bandits that were terrorizing the town's main road and the service meant to help travelers were run by the same person? That this entire situation was manufactured to squeeze the money out of innocent people? What do you think of that, Mr. Merchant? Or should I say, Eima Badguy?"

The merchant had broken out in a cold sweat, face pale and eyes darting about nervously.

"So what do you say, boys?" Kaguya turned back towards the bandits, "You let us reach the next town peacefully and I'll give you back your little ringleader? How about it?"

The bandits were equally disturbed by the situation and looked around at each other anxiously.

"Just go!" The merchant, Eima shouted, "Leave and retreat!"

The three other Badguys nodded and quickly began to run back into the woods.

"Just so you know, Mr. Merchant." Kaguya said, "If we ever see you again, I'll love to show you this neat little trick my knife can do. Trust me. I promise you that you'll only live long enough to regret it."

Eima gasped as Kaguya withdrew her knife.

"Bye bye." Kaguya waved farewell with her undaunting, unnerving smile.

Eima's face scrunched up in deep loathing and hate but he turned around and ran after the bandits as fast as he could.

"There we go!" Kaguya said as she put away her knife, "Road should be clear now! Let's get going!"

"Kaguya scares me sometimes..." Helena whispered.

"I never thought about it but yeah, she's terrifying." Momo gulped.

"You two need to hang out with your friends more." Roko said.

"I don't want to hear that from you, you recluse!" Helena cried as she kicked him in the back.

Sure enough, Roko's group arrived at the next town without any further incident. Normally, Roko would have arrived in the early evening but thanks to all the interruptions on the way, it was pretty late in the night now.

"First things first." Helena said, "We need to find an inn."

"It's also too late to make dinner now." Momo added, "I'll run around and find something for us to eat."

"I'll walk around and try to find a few supplies." Kaguya said, "That way we can leave a little earlier tomorrow morning."

"Then me and Roko will find that inn!" Helena nodded, "We'll give you a call once we get rooms for everyone!"

"..."

"Something up, Roko?" Helena asked, noticing Roko's silence.

"I just didn't think I'd have this big a party before even the end of the first night I go out."

"You really didn't think we'll come along with you?" Momo giggled.

"I didn't think you all would be this quick!" Roko scowled, "I thought I would get a head start by setting out early but you all are ridiculous."

"Is that a problem?" Kaguya smiled.

"No, it's just hard to feel like you've achieved anything when you're surrounded by hyper-competent people with a near infinite amount of money."

"To be fair Roko, you are also hyper-competent with a considerable amount of money."

"I'm not hyper-competent." Roko frowned.

"Yes you are." Every princess replied immediately.

"You always have some plan in mind no matter what happens." Helena said.

"You say you've never fought before but you've been fighting on par with some legendary heroes." Momo nodded.

"You can cast magic that other people can't and have been able to utilize it to your advantage." Kaguya continued, "Face it Roko, you're one of us as far as we're concerned."

"Maybe you're a bit squishy." Momo shrugged, "But hey, Corissa's squishy too and we still keep her around."

"The squishiest." Helena nodded.

"In more ways than one." Roland said as he wondered dreamily.

"Speaking of Corissa, it seems she won't be joining us for now." Kaguya sighed, "I didn't see her before I left. I did finish her share of paperwork as well just in case but I don't think she intends on coming with us."

"All the better." Roko said, "No need to risk her life when we don't need to."

"You think this trip will be dangerous?" Helena asked.

"Let's be honest. Trouble follows me like a shadow." Roko said, "At any rate, we still need to find a place to stay for the night. Let's get going."