-No amount of gold on Earth can buy originality-

---

Earth was still pretty fucked up right now so I could mess around with unstable magic to my heart's content. Of course, just because I could, didn't mean I should. Might have accidentally tunneled a hole through the ocean...eh...oops?

I stared at the massive sinkhole that was sucking in all the water around it. So many animals were being sucked into the bottom of the ocean. I was too afraid of looking at the deep sea creatures to get anywhere near that thing so...

Note to self, maybe don't try to perform magic involving terrain changing effects.

I decided to leave before my experiments caused anymore damage to the planet.

---

I stared at the invitation.

Villains party? From Queen Entozoa?

I had been living in this dimension for a few hundred years now, split off from another Me a while back, I should get back together at some point. I originally came due to a job from Time Baby but there were so many wonderful interesting planets here I decided to stay for a bit. There was a giant space puppy that ate planets for crying out loud. How adorable WAS that?

My original job here involved the destruction of an entire sector, utter erasure of all life. It wasn't a very nice job but Time Baby promised no more jobs of that nature for at LEAST a million years so I decided to take a vacation here, calm down before heading home. Having one of the Mes de-stress somehow helped the other Mes to calm down as well.

Of course, my annihilation of the whole sector got me put on some kinda villain list? That would explain why a mail courier gave me this while I was relaxing on a nice beach with fruity drinks and snacks.

Still though, I haven't done anything...problematic since then so I'm not entirely sure why I was invited.

Then again, fancy party...nice food...

Who was I to turn this down?

Even if the hostess was some space parasite who invited all of us to find a new host to burrow it's awful slimy self into.

Food~?

Possible hijacking of my constructed physical vessel?

Food~?

Glowing space slug that devours souls to extend its own existence?

Food~!

I shrugged and checked off that I would be attending.

---

Those guards Entozoa has are super creepy. I don't think they're even real living creatures. Still though, I adjusted my dress a little self consciously. I wonder if I should have gone with my usual outfit instead. But in a moment of weakness I couldn't resist.

The fact that some Orca-faced loser kept flirting with me was really pissing me off. If he doesn't BACK OFF in like...2 seconds I swear I'm gonna eat him. Luckily for him Queen Entozoa creaked her way out and everyone sat down at the dinner table. I made sure to sit away from that douchebag. Settling down and adjusting my dress again, I turned to my neighbor, a floating black cube and smiled politely.

"Hello. Not often I see another geometric shape around here. My name's Bill Cipher. What's your name?"

"e̡̘̥̳̰̊̓̂ͣ͟͝ĝ̴̦̪̥̠ͬ̈́̽͊̿̄ͮ̿́o͊ͫ͗͗͆ͪ͟҉̼̲̘͙̭͈͙ ̷̢̖̥̞̭̫̃͝ṡ̵̳̼͔̽́ͩͦu̵̼͚͔̽̍̆̆͡͝ṁ̼̟̠̱̻̻̾̏̄̊ͦͭ͜͞͝ͅ ̤̮̰̣̩͎̙̬̃̒ͦ͗̒̽e̮̗ͦ̽ͬͮ̏̉̔̀g̷̷̰̘̥͇̟ͨ̒̉ͩ̈̀o͚͓̞̙͙̲̹͓͌ͯ͞ ̳͍̉ͯͭ̉́ͪ͢͝c̢̢̞̺̯̑͛ͅḯͧ́̇͂ͥ̐̉͋͢͏̳̲͖́b͙͓̟ͫͯͫ̑͟͡͝uͩ̏ͪͤ̉̃ͪͩ҉̖̼͈̠̝m̠̹̦͌ͣ͐͆͐̎̀ ͤ̾̏ͫ͗ͭ́҉̨̪̤̼̞͓ş̬͙̰̻̝̲ͦͦ̎o̬͔̝̺͓ͫ̂ͮ̀l̲̉ͣ̊̄ḯ͆͏̟̤̺̜͟d̷̯ͨ̍ͥͧͭ̇̆̓ͬ͘̕u͍͖̮̪͚͚̿̅́͢m̛̩̩̦̬̫̖̥̱̣̿ͤ̑̀͗͂̕ ̴̳̳͖̞̙͖͐̾̂́̇̕e̡̖̻̣͔͌̎ͅt̛̠̳̖ͫ͐ͪ̉͋̉ͣ ̢̜̖͚͈̾͌̌̓͌͑̏ͭ͆͜t̴̝͇̹̋͋̈́͑ͤͭe̡͆̓͂̄҉҉̜̰͖ͅn̶̨̾̆ͨ͏̟̬͚͚e̛ͬ̓̇ͨͮ̽̿̾͏̳̰b̷̢̝̣̘̰͍̯̫͚̄̾ͨŗ̲̂ͮ̆a͒̾̍̽̋ͩ̒̑͏̝̝̘̪̖̬̕ę̮̻̥͉̮͉̣͍ͨ̈́ͫ̄̐̈́ ̱̤̺̦̬̩̖̝̒ͤ̈ͨ̊ͩͩ̍̀a̢̙̗̯̳̞̝͋́̇ͤ̊n͆͂ͭ̚͠͏̻͙̘͙̯̟i̵̺̼̮̲̝̠̓ͥ͌̋ͤm̴̯͖̦̏ͬ̍ͧã̛͙͈̬̩͝r̡̮̦͍͈̹̥̪̊͊ͥͭ̎͌û̥̖̖̪̝͕ͧ̔ͩͭ̓͐ͭm̛̠͕̘̰̩̬̩̺̑̾ͬͩͣ̚͟ͅ"

"Oh. It's very nice to meet you."

What a polite cube of pure darkness. Nice to see there were SOME nice guests at this party. That stupid excuse for a dolphin was trying to talk to me again. Oh my god he was putting his leg on the table to flex at me. Can I stab him? I really want to stab him.

"Oh! Mister....Miss(?) Cipher! You really came!" Queen Entozoa croaks in a pleased tone. I blink at her. Ugh. That body is definitely giving out on her. She smiles at me and then at the other guests seated at the table.

"I've gathered you all here today because I am dying-" she slumps over on the table. I can feel the people around me panicking. I try not to laugh. That would be quite rude. The parasite forces the body back up as if nothing happened "-to tell you something. I'm dying."

I muffled a snort of laughter.

She explained that before she dies she would be bequeathing all her vast fortune, army and power to one of us. Some idiot immediately tries to flatter her in an obvious manner and was kicked out. I roll my eye and spoke up. "I'm actually not here for that. I'm not exactly a villain anyway."

The other guests stared at me aghast. Queen Entozoa looked confused. "What do you mean not a villain miss Cipher? You destroyed an entire sector. A whole portion of the galaxy wiped from the star charts. Entire planets burned to a crisp with no survivors! You even managed to snuff out their stars! Even now, 300 years later, that sector is a dead zone where no life grows."

The other guests were now gazing at me in awe of my apparent evilness. I flushed in embarrassment. The queen continued "If the total annihilation and death of billions of lives isn't EVIL than I don't know what is!" I slump lower in my seat. Way to make me feel bad. Maybe coming here a mistake.

Another guest, the skeleton leans over to whisper to his companion "Peepers. Who is this girl?"

"S-sir! That's Bill Cipher! The most dangerous creature in the galaxy!" The eyeball creature was staring at me with fear and awe. "I...always thought they were male though..."

I roll my eye again. Trying not to let the Queen's words get to me I respond "Well I don't like being called a villain. It hurts my feelings." Any response was cut off when the doors opened and a cheerful voice rang out. I shivered as I FELT the pure happiness fill the room. My head was spinning, this shit was POTENT! My bricks were already throbbing from the onslaught of positive emotion. I think I've felt this before, in one of my many travels through the multiverse, but I've never been so CLOSE to it.

"Sorry I'm late!" The cheerful voice had a cute little drawl to it.

Panting slightly, I turn to see an adorable orange furred alien waving cheerfully. Oh. Oh my~I'm not paying attention to the conversation, my full attention on this...being of purity before me. How beautiful and horrifying. My demonic instincts screamed at me to kill him. Mash him into pulp, snuff out that light, extinguish this...JOY. I shivered and hold back a growl.

I want to eat him. How much power would this give me? The strength of his mind would be enough to feed my demonic hunger for millennia...I shook my head. No. I can't do that. Besides, just passively feeding off his emotions like this was already more than I could handle. I was burning up just sitting here. Kinda nauseous actually.

My eye stared at him intently as he gets a seat beside the queen. The meal was brought out and I absently tossed the whole thing, plate and all, into my eye mouth. There was a rumbling sound inside my head as I gazed at the orange creature hungrily. He looked soft. Perfect for squishing. So cute.

That weird skeleton man was attempting to tell a story and dear lord he was boring. I rolled my eye. "You know what's a funny story?" I interrupted "This one time I mistook a Delipanian for a cheese burger and ended up eating their King...and then the guards...and then the citizens...man they were delicious though..." I sighed, wishing there was more food.

There was an awkward silence at the table. I glanced around "I'm still kinda hungry so...are you gonna eat that or-?"

Half the guests at the table slid their plates over to me. I happily devoured more fancy food. The orange alien broke the terrified silence by somehow breaking the laws of physics and balancing a spoon on his nose without having a nose. I laughed along with everyone else. Damn this kid was charming. My instincts were finally calming down somewhat as I got more used to being in the same room as someone who leaks out such powerful positive emotions.

"Ooh time for dancing! Ooh!" The queen says happily. The orange alien runs off to the bathroom and everyone else began heading to the ballroom floor. I perk up. Dance. I glance around at the other guests and judge my size in comparison to them. Hm...normally I wouldn't risk revealing my shapeshifting powers but this dimension was so far away from Federation rule it was pretty much lawless so why not? I came to this party to have fun.

I shift into William's form and flick my hair. "I haven't had a proper ballroom dance in faaaaar too long~"

A few guests stared at me flabbergasted. Queen Entozoa blinks. "Oh. I didn't realize you were so young miss Cipher."

"Pfth- I'm almost 600 billion years old." I shrug. There's a hungry gleam in the queen's eyes. "Really now? You don't look a day over 400!" She laughs at her own joke. "Tell me, what IS your secret dear?"

I brush off my dress and shrug. "Immortality." I replied nonchalantly.

There's definitely a hungry look in the queen's eyes now. "Miss Cipher. Would you like to be my-"

"No!!!" The skeleton man whines.

I shake my head. "Like I said, I'm not here for the Inheritance, I have no interest in it." I sashayed my way over to the black cube, ignoring the longing glance the queen gives me. "Hello sir cube, would you like this dance?"

The cube seems to vibrate in embarrassment. "E̛͍̳̪̼̬͕͕̣ͧ̓ͧ̂ͩ̅̓͠g̦̦̱̘̱̼͚͕̜ͭͭ͛̒͡o̫͙̤ͬͣ̐̄̄͟ ̫̭̜̝̲̖̖̥ͭ͗͐̈́ͪ̊a̦͍̣̜̐͑̃̏̇̈́̊̂̎͘͟ļ̵͚̏̌̌̑ͤ͗͐͋̇į̘̺̦̐ͥͨͤ̚͟q̴̸͖̦͈̹̠͉̘̥̤͂͊̅̏ͥ̉ụ̙͙̃ͣ̒͛̅͌ͅî̒̂ͤ́̊͆̈́̽͏͇̦̼̰̯̞ş̡̱̤͓͙̬̳͕̠͛ͨͩ͌ͪ̇̚ͅ ̗̭̈d̢̹͔̩̠̈͑̈͞ā͖͙̫̥̬̘̻͖ͥ̌͊̂̈́t̷ͤ̉ͧͩ͗͝҉͈͖̖̻̖i̢̟̰̠̖̪͚͊n̬̣̹ͨ̓̃̓ğ̋ͥ̽ͥ͏̡̭̪͍̥̠͕"

I giggle. "It's fine. This is just a dance. You know? To have fun. I don't mean anything by it, this isn't a romantic proposition, though if you really think your girlfriend would mind..."

"Hey~Ditch the loser with no arms and come dance with a REAL man~" that bipedal shark tries to flirt with me again. I notice the skeleton man had grabbed the queen was was attempting to sing to her. I scowl at the shark. "For the last time I am not interested!" When it looked like he was gonna try and sweet talk me, I turned red and had my flames billow around me with searing heat. "Back off before I rip those arms off and make YOU eat them."

He whimpers. I smile sweetly at the black cube. "May I have this dance sir?"

He looked a little hesitant but bobbed in the air along with me when I place a hand gently on one of his sides and swayed to the calm music. My show of power just made the queen even more interested in me. Heck, if she REALLY wants my body that bad she can just make a Deal for her very own vessel.

"D̵̴̨̫̤̗̯̏ͦ͆̎ǫ̶̘̺̝͚̓̍̍ͤ̈́̽ͨ͠ͅľ̥̠̍ͦ̋̿́͢e̬̦̞͎̜̜̽͐͂ͨ̔͒ͯ͌̆͞ͅo̢̢͈̞̳͉̙̣̹̎͑͐͗̿ͬ̊ͩ̎ ̠̭͚͎̥̙̗̗̺̅ͬ̑ͬ́m̓ͦ͢҉̨̣̯ͅeͫ̉̾͏̻̘̫̫̩̭͉͘ ̡̩̫̳ͮ͋͗̄n̶̶͓̝̿ͩ̎̈́ͨͣ̾̃o̸̩̖̺̜̦̣̬͔͛ͤͯͫ͛ͅn̫̗̋͑͒ͣ̽̎̌̕ ̢̞͔͚̘̯͉̺̈́͂̌̆͜͝h̴͍͇̤͖ͭ͆͆̏ā̶̲̜͕͖̦̩̌̄̍ͮ̈͐͡b̧̡̥̠͙̙͙̙͖͌͌̔ͯ̈́̅ͧ̂͢e̙̫͚̥̥ͨ̒͝͝ŗ̻̹̌̄ͮ̒̌̈́̌e̶̩̦̰̥͖̩͇ͬ̆ͪ̑̾͒͌͡͡ͅ ̷̥͗̔̐́̍͐͌a̋҉̻̯̙̥̲̮̹̦r̛̬̞͙̣ͭ̾̔̅ͮm̈́͊̑̆̔͢͏͔̮̫̺͙̮̺̹ị̢̗͇̜̘̭͍̻͐͊͛s̡̱̘̫̩̜̲͐̐͑ͮ̾̋" The cube asked.

"It's fine sir. Your company is more than enough. Frankly you're the only decent conversation I've had at this party so far."

The cube blushes. I could sense a feeling of gratitude and embarrassment under the soul sucking void that was his entire being. Further below that I made note of a worrying self esteem problem brought about by his lack of limbs. Should I?

"Hey. You know how I shifted my form so I could dance easier?"

He nods, somehow conveying his mild curiosity to where I was going with this despite having no face. I smiled "Do you want me to shift your form too?"

He vibrates wildly. The growling scream of the void comes off him in a way that would have caused any lesser being to collapse into a soulless husk but I simply waited patiently for him to give me a proper response. Finally he nods. The feelings of 'longing' were quite sad. Poor dear must have struggled a lot to live without any limbs with which to interact with the world around him. His only skill appeared to be sucking out people's souls temporarily. What a sad life that must have been.

I brushed my fingers along his sides and traced along his edges. "Hold still." I breathed quietly before sending my power into his cubic body. Much like how I crafted William's form by taking my triangle base and pulling my shape out into a humanoid form, I did the same here. His straight edges rippled and stretched out as I twisted his anatomy painlessly. He screams anyway, total molecular reconstruction was always startling even without the pain normally caused by such a thing. I frowned in concentration. Part of the transformation was affected by the cube's own desires for his appearance and I had to carefully avoid killing him as I tried to make him look like what he would want.

The result was a cubic, faceless head with a torso with arms. No legs. He continued floating and was inspecting his new fingers. I gave him a nice white suit and frankly I thought he looked quite handsome. He was tilting his cube head to examine his own body.

"There you are!" I cheered. "This form can be called up and dismissed whenever you want to turn back to normal."

Cube looked down at himself and then turned to me radiating excitement. He waves his new arms and holds out a hand to me. I take it and he pulls me along to dance. I shiver when the orange creature comes back into the room.

Seriously, how can this much love and joy exist in one soul?

Heck, part of the reason I shifted Cube was to try and burn off some of this energy. I need to get rid of this overwhelming excess before I catch fire or start vomiting. My triangle form may not be able to throw up but this humanoid one sure can.

The music picks up into a cheerful, lively tune. I give Cube my thanks for the dance and tell him I'm getting some more snacks. I see the skeleton man attempt to dance more roughly with the queen and wince. I think he just dislocated her arms…

All the guests had stopped what they were doing to watch this train wreck. I back off when I sensed the queen getting angry. Oof, this was not gonna be pretty.

He kisses her and the queen shrieks. I nibble on some sandwiches and when the queen screams that the party is over I grab the entire tray and try to exit. "Well, I got food, I'm happy." the woman at the snack table narrows her eyes. "Hey, I was eating that." I sigh and put the tray back down. "Ok, half then?"

The skeleton man runs back into the castle screaming about how he wants her power. I roll my eye. Well, if HE wants to be possessed by a space worm for a thousand years that's his problem. Me and the Zbornak munched on snacks while watching the drama go down. "Well this isn't gonna end well." I grin.

"Nope." The female Zbornak laughs.

"I'm Bill by the way."

"Sylvia." She says.

"I noticed that Casanova wannabe was bothering you too?" Stupid shark-man seemed to be flirting with anything vaguely female.

She rolls her eyes. "Ugh, yeah that idiot doesn't take a hint."

"You know him?"

"I'm acquainted, unfortunately." she scowled as she munched on the food.

"How bad is he? Like…" I had some blue fire flickering up my arms. "Should I actually rip off those arms of his?"

Sylvia shakes her head "As funny as that would be, I get the feeling you're being entirely serious and...he's a jerk but-"

We were cut off when the screaming parasite flew over and landed inside the sandwich she was holding. We both squawk in surprise and Sylvia drops the snack. "Ah! Ok. I'm full." She backs off.

"I'm not." I mumble but I get the feeling this was a sandwich I probably shouldn't eat.

"You stuck me in a sandwich for a thousand years?!" The sandwich screams "DESTROY THEM!!"

I start running for the door when the queen's guards start firing. "But I'm still hungry~" I whined.

We all made it off the planet and I sigh. I look over and blanch when I realized in the confusion I ended up bubbled together with the orange alien and Sylvia. Wander. His name was Wander...or at least, that's what people are currently calling him. It was Tumbleweed before this. And before that it was something else.

Goodness this guy was pretty old.

I also kept getting the feeling I recognized them but I don't remember from where.

"Hi?" I waved. Then I clamped a hand over my mouth and gagged. I stuck my head out of the bubble and heaved, thick black goop pouring out as I shook. I feel someone patting my back and normally I'd slap their hand away but I was too busy heaving. Finally I gasped and slumped over, half dangling outside the bubble. Ugh.

I feel sick. At least the positivity wasn't overwhelming me anymore, I guess I managed to empty myself of the excess that my body couldn't hold. I feel hands pulling me back inside the bubble and their worried faces loomed over me.

"Are you okay?" Wander asks. I moan. He reaches into his hat and pulls out a handkerchief. I manage a weak "Thanks." And take it to clean myself. Ugh. As I slumped over tiredly with my eye closed I can hear the two whispering to each other.

"Wander, we need to drop her off the first chance we get."

"But Sylvia she's sick. She needs our help."

"She's also admitted to eating PEOPLE. Plus she was a guest at that party so she's got to be a villain right?"

"Well WE were invited to that party too. And she said she mistook some people for a burger. I'm sure she didn't mean to eat them."

I open my eye a crack and see them discussing me. Huh. Looks like neither of them knew who I was. Well I haven't done anything 'villainous' in over 300 years so I guess only people who care about keeping track of 'bad guys' would know about what I did in this dimension.

"It's fine if you want to drop me off here...I'm fine on my own…" besides, I got sick from being around that orange one after all.

"See? We can just split the bubble and be off." Sylvia says. "But…" Wander says worriedly.

I groan and reach for my powers as I turned to look behind our bubble. The black stuff I vomited was an incredibly dense elemental sludge that was already clumping together. Gross. I waved a hand and poured my energy into it. Need to use up this excess I keep producing. The sludge swirled around and grew as I decided to simply pour out half my power into it. I'll get all this power and more back from just being near this orange guy anyway.

Seriously, if anyone found a way to use emotions to generate energy like I can they could use this guy to power multiple star systems.

The two go silent as my power twisted the sludge. It grew larger and larger, developing into a round orb that continued to grow. Slowly a tiny planet was formed. The carbon mixed with some oxygen, hydrogen and other gases that I generated along with a bunch of other elements. I leaned my face against the bubble and began forming nitrogen instead. Nitrogen, Oxygen, Argon…

Wander walks closer to me, looks at the way I was twitching my hand as the atmosphere of the newly forming planet swirled, matching my movements.

"Are you...building a planet?!" He gasps in wonder.

"Yeah?" I glance at him.

"That's amazing!" He squeals. I grin. "Well, not really. There's no life on it. It's just a plain mass of stable ground and atmosphere…"

"Why are you building a planet?! How are you doing this?! What are you?" Sylvia waves her hands frantically.

I groan as I push myself up into a more comfortable position. "I just...need to use up some of my power before I get sick again."

The planet loomed over our bubble. It was a perfectly nice planet aside from being lifeless. Well, give it time, life finds a way. I knew that from watching the Earth. Speaking of Earth...I should go check on it again. See if that hole I made has filled in yet.

I empty myself out and sighed in relief. Even after creating my own planet I could feel the wonderful, powerful, emotions coming off Wander quickly filling me back up. It made me feel...giddy. I can't stay here any longer. I'm gonna go nuts on this feeling if I did.

Shame, I would have liked to hang out with these two. They seemed fun. I get up and split the bubble. "Wait! Where are you going? Aren't you still sick?" Wander asks me. I shrug. "It's fine. You shouldn't...waste your time worrying about me. I'm sure there are plenty of other people who might need your help more...bye…" I ran away before he could try and convince me to stay.

I ignore how nice it would have been to stay. Stay so I can continue feeding on those emotions. Even if they make me feel sick.

Besides, vacation's over. Back to work. Back to studying in preparation for when I can claim the 3rd dimension for my own. Because it belongs to me. I want to be allowed to live there as easily as I lived anywhere else. Because someday I will have my own Pines family and I'd love to hang out with them. My own Gravity Falls. Mine.

---

I stay on Earth for a few thousand years.

I possessed all sorts of creatures from insects to rodents to fishes in the seas. I had to be able to perform magic no matter what form I was in. I HAD to learn this. It was slow going but I was stubborn enough to do it.

That's when I began to notice them. Hominids and Primate-like creatures developing around the world as the mammal species evolved and diversified. They weren't human, definitely not, some of them were monkey or ape like and others were isolated onto an island and didn't even progress THAT far. If I had to put it in words, they were lemurs. How had I missed this development?!

I tried possessing them too. The intelligence was slightly higher. Not much. But they had grasping fingers that could HOLD stuff. I clung to trees and concentrated on channeling my powers through their bodies. My usual powers weren't working. But magic? That I could do.

Nature magic took some time. The most I could really do was send my power into the plants around me to make them grow. It was easy to do that. I could do that while drunk (I already HAVE done that while drunk) but that only caused general growth. I couldn't really CHANGE how they grew. Couldn't make them grow the way I wanted. I was used to having CONTROL of the world around me. But I guess you're not supposed to control nature. That was unnatural.

Which was why I loved doing it.

But after many years of messing around with nature magic I realized I couldn't force my desires into the plants. I can only work WITH them and use their natural inclinations to help me with what I wanted. I can't force a tree to flower and bear fruit without first fertilizing them. I giggled to myself when I possessed some early wasp-like creatures that were the ancient world's first pollinators.

I can be like Bee Bill. The thought sent me careening out of my insect host, I was laughing so hard.

So I finally got the hang of nature magic. That's great But there were so many others I still had to learn.

There are magic schools out in the multiverse.

I sat on the branch of a tree I had grown. Magic school.

None of my friends had been interested in learning magic. Kryptos preferred cold hard science. Magic was complicated and required intense focus and discipline to learn. We weren't really a group known for our discipline or patience. Heck, I wasn't known for my patience either. But this was MAGIC.

I always wanted to go to Hogwarts as a child. Was so upset that my owl never came.

Obviously Bill Cipher can't enroll in magic school. But Miz can. And more than that. This solved my problem of what school to send Quackers to.

A magical Pladibear. Wouldn't that be amazing? I'm sure zey would LOVE to learn magic. I'm gonna go ask them. I slipped in between dimensions to go back to the same time I left my friends. I had so much to do.

---

My other project came to fruition.

I couldn't send money from my TV show into Quacker's bank account since Miz wasn't supposed to be connected to Bill in any way. So, I found something else. Miz was an established comic book author so it wasn't like I was starting from scratch. I sat down with some producers and introduced the idea of making my books into an Anime series.

I even sent another Me back in time to set up the baselines needed to make Anime a 'thing' that existed. I've been pulling Anime from the future timeline to show my friends but I couldn't introduce them into the past. Time Baby would be up in my personal space about that.

Instead I recreated the shows and series I remembered from my 1st life. They were similar to the Anime that would someday exist in this dimension but different enough I could fudge the details somewhat to make them something different. So I carefully introduced the idea of various Anime I remembered into the timeline and watched these little changes ripple out. Nothing too major, not enough to catch Time Baby's notice.

After all these years doing jobs for him, I knew how to go about tweaking the timeline without fucking things up…mostly…

I got surrounded by some Time Police and to their relief, I gave myself up peacefully. I know I did wrong after all. This was all on me and I'm owning up to it. Besides, while one Me served his 1000 year sentence in the Infinetentiary, the other Mes can continue doing what we're doing until he gets let out to recombine with us. Unfortunately for Time Baby, he couldn't stop Anime from becoming a thing and was forced to spend years and multiple squads of Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement agents throughout the timeline to stabilize it.

Time Baby was PISSED. Yelled at me for hours straight. Well screw him, I invented Anime. Deal with it!

The Me in the 'present' negotiated the production of an Anime of my work and I sent half the revenue from that to Quacker's bank account. Seriously, it was…laughable how much I could do. Sometimes I forget that I wasn't always capable of just making things happen the way I want. Was I going overboard with my own power? Changing the timeline for the sake of introducing my hobby into the multiverse? Going through life just throwing my power around and getting my way?

Naw~I'm doing this world a favor! I'm making the universe better! They should be grateful I'm teaching them how to have FUN!

Plus I can't wait for Anime to catch on enough that they start holding conventions. I really wanted to make my friends do group cosplays with me…

—

The years passed too quickly for my liking. The twins were graduating soon. Quackers was enrolled in a basic Childgarden and would be transferred to a magic academy when they were older. As I predicted, they were thrilled at the chance to learn magic. Once Quackers was old enough, I plan to send Miz to the school with them. That way I can keep an eye on them while learning stuff myself.

Brilliant.

I had so much work to do, papers to sign, people to talk to...

Frankly I've lost track of how many instances of Me there were running around the multiverse…

Pyrone and Flora began dating.

I can't express how...relieved I was to hear that. Flora's species don't eat their mates. Pyrone won't have to die.

He came to Pyronica and I to apologize for not giving us grandkids but I hugged him tightly and said that I didn't care about that. The future can change. The future can change. The future can change.

I know this deviation from the glimpse I saw all those years ago was due to me. I introduced them after all. It always made me indescribably happy to know my actions could alter things. Make them better.

Pynelope kept to our Deal, she told me about any guys, girls or otherwise she had her eye on and I would check if they were safe. In return, I never interfered (not as Bill at least) in their birthday parties. I still grabbed prisoners.

The little dungeon would fill and empty as the years went on. People coming and going as I found different ways of punishing them. Google was a good maid. Complained about the uniform but she did her job feeding the other prisoners.

Johan still refused my offer for freedom. I didn't make the mistake of revealing my secret connection to Time Baby to my other prisoners so a bit of scolding and psychological torture later and they were free to go.

Time passed in an ever flowing stream forward. Quackers was growing up and decided they wanted to be female. There are a surprising amount of species that don't have a physical sex until puberty. I began stressing out again. My children were growing up. Quackers was going to be starting magic school soon.

Everything was happening too fast and I just wanted everything to stop moving forward. Things were fine like this. It was fine as is. Please stop moving. Please stop changing.

Things change.

Even if I wanted them to stay the same.

As against my nature as it was.

I attended the twin's high school graduation, crying hysterically and melting half the crowd around me. It took hours to pull that gloop of flesh and screams back into proper separate bodies so they could return to their families. I also apologized a lot.

Pynelope was going off to college. She had something to prove and wasn't going to back down from that. Pyrone told me he wanted to help Flora start her own farm. The two were working odd jobs to save enough money to buy the land for it (I remind him of his bank account I had put plenty of savings into, he said he wanted that to be for emergencies). He was still close friends with Beez and Bibbity. They hung out often.

Even if the twins were moving out, I still visit often and tried my best to keep us from drifting apart. It was hard. Pyronica actually pulled me aside and told me I had to let them go. They needed to learn how to survive on their own. They weren't children anymore.

Just because you're correct doesn't mean you're right!

But I could tell my clinginess was going to annoy them. I held back my visits. Hectorgon put it best "Why would the twins ever feel the need to come home to visit us if you're always going to them? Your constant presence means they won't miss you since you're always there." He patted my side. "Bill, they're growing up and you need to let them do stuff on their own now."

It was difficult to let go but I eventually allowed it. Besides, Quackers and Miz need to start magic school soon.

I snuggled with Ax and sighed. "Why does time move so quickly? Do you think I could bribe Time Baby into slowing down? At least for a few more centuries?"

Ax gave me blank stare and I sighed harder. "I know~it's not gonna happen…"

-Are you happy?-

I considered it.

"Yeah. I am. But it's not going to last is it?"

-Nothing does. But that doesn't mean it wasn't worth it-

I couldn't say anything against that.

---

I glanced over at Quackers while wearing my Miz form. She's grown up a lot since I first adopted her. Her neck and body had lengthened and grown larger to more resemble a bear.

She saw me watching and honked softly before twirling her flipper around my hand. I squeezed back.

She was aging faster than the twins were. Pladibears had a shorter lifespan. Already she had reached what would be the equivalent of 11 in human terms despite being the equivalent of 4 when I first got her.

I was still worried and dreading the day I lost them. But…

I leaned against Quackers's much larger form, even a young Pladibear preteen was much larger than me, around the size of a polar bear now. I rubbed my face into her fur, still just as soft as when she was a child. "Are you nervous mom?" She asks me as she wraps her flippers around my sides.

"Not about school. Just...you're all growing up so fast." I mumble into her fur. I feel like it was just a few short decades ago my kids were still relying on me to take care of them. Now Pynelope was at college and Pyrone was building a farmhouse together with Flora.

Really though? Farming? Never thought he'd be the type. Then again, the planet they chose had some pretty vicious wildlife. Pyrone called me up to brag about the the Dragon-like creature he slew in battle. I guess he enjoys the exercise. And Flora wasn't very good with numbers so Pyrone was in charge of all the finances and management.

Quackers honked with mirth. "You always say that mom."

I snort. "It's true though~how dare you grow bigger than me~" I poked her side and she honked with laughter.

"Not my fault you're so tiny mom~" Quackers teased. I roll my eyes. "You and the twins keep making fun of me!" I lean back dramatically with the back of my hand over my eyes "Oh Ammy, he's the only good child~where have I gone wrong with the rest of them~?"

Quackers honks loudly and the other people in the room shush us. We were going in for the magic initiate test and many were worried they wouldn't even make it into the school. Anyone can use magic under the right circumstance but that didn't mean you'd be any good at it.

Kryptos asked why I was even bothering with magic when my powers were far greater than anything the school could teach me. I responded "Magical girls." with a completely straight face before cartwheeling out of the room.

Another reason I wanted to go to magic school, there were plenty of meditation techniques they taught for strengthening their minds against outside influence. I really wanted to secure my Exit Door so I could finally go back out there to explore the alternative dimensions.

Still wanted to check on Seb and Bill. See if Seb's got his brothers back yet. See if Bill was doing okay despite his bound situation. Well...sort of bound? There was definitely some sort of binding anchor on him that worried me but it was connected to Stan and from what that Bill has said, I got the feeling he really liked his Stan so it shouldn't be a problem.

I frown. Ax wouldn't be happy if he found out I went back there. But I feel like I owe that other Bill something as thanks for his advice. Augh. I know Ax said interfering in the alternative worlds was against the rules but...since when have I followed them?

The crowd around us moved and I came out of my thoughts to begin walking forward to the testing hall.

Meanwhile, the me that was Bill was...

"Well, well, well~look who came crawling back~" I grinned at the woman before me. Quackers's birth mother. Now why would she dare to summon me again? If she tries to pawn off another child I swear I will kill her and adopt all her children just to be done with it.

She glares at me. "I'm just here for some information." She says firmly. I laugh. "And what sorts of info would that be?"

"Who is the person who has my child?"

I pause. Was she really-

"What? Do you want her back? After all these years?" I scoff "Cause that ain't happening."

"No. I merely wish to know who the one YOU dumped my child off on is. I want to know if they are being well cared for."

"Lady, you didn't give a FUCK if I ate your kid or not. I'm not buying it. What's the real reason you're calling me?"

The former smuggler glares at me. I fold my arms and wait. I can just invade her thoughts to find out for myself but frankly I wanted to hear her say it.

She glares at me. "My children hate me." She says. I laugh in her face. "Of course they do! They know you would sell them out without hesitating. How would they be able to trust you?!"

She honks angrily. "Yes. I GET that." she sighs and rubs a flipper along her face. "Look...I made a choice. It might not have been a good choice but...it was mine."

"What? Are you regretting it? Feel bad that you gave up your child instead of thinking of anything else? You know I was joking with my examples of what I take as a price right?"

"I don't want to hear that from someone who sold off my child the first chance you got." She hisses.

I roll my eye. "I actually didn't."

She pauses. "What? It was clearly documented. You dumped my kid on some random person you bumped into."

"Yeah...she works for me." I shrug. "I didn't want Quackers being kidnapped or murdered by my enemies who are stupid enough to try attacking people that belong to me. So I 'gave her away' to a random stranger."

She was quiet. "So you put on a show of getting rid of my child...to keep her safe?"

"Duh! How else can I ensure she grows up unbothered by the stigma of being associated with me? Learned THAT lesson with my other kids."

She frowns at me. "You could be lying. You're a criminal, an evil demon…"

"Oof- way to hurt my feelings there~" I say cheerfully.

She stares at me, irritated. "I still wish to know where my child is. As her mother I have right to-"

"AHA HAHA HAHA HAHAHA-!"

I laugh and laugh, my voice echoing through the room. I continue laughing until she starts looking uncomfortable. My laughter cuts off abruptly, the silence ringing louder due to the absence.

"She's not YOUR child anymore. Hasn't been for years." My form slowly grows larger until I was looming over her. "She's MINE. And if you EVER try to claim ownership of MY daughter again, I will turn you into a pencil sharpener and toss you into the standardized test taking dimension."

I leave, not bothering with any Deal she might propose. I didn't want her anywhere near Quackers. She had finally moved past this. She had finally started calling ME mom. No two bit thief was gonna take that from me.

Back with Miz, I covered my eyes and took a few deep breaths.

"What's wrong mom? I thought you weren't worried about the test?" Quackers asked as she bent down to pat my back. I straightened with a sigh and opened my eyes. "It's nothing, just annoying customers."

I tug on her flipper with a wide grin. "Come on let's go join magic school! Maybe we'll uncover a dark conspiracy! Or fight an evil warlock. Or fight a unicorn! Fuck those guys!"

Quackers honks in amusement as we go to take our magic tests. I press myself onto her soft fur.

Mine.

---