63

DEMI'S POV

Wilmer called my whole family and they arrived not too long after we did. I've been pacing back and forth the whole time as I kept worrying about my daughter.

"Demi, I think you should sit down." Mom suggested. "You need to relax."

"We've been here for several hours and they haven't given us answers. How do you expect me to relax?" I sighed heavily as I sat down in one of the chairs.

"We'll find out soon, babe." Wilmer said, placing his hand on my knee. If it wasn't for me being so focused on Wilmer, I would've known that my baby girl was hurting. How could I be so stupid?

"You." I stood up as I angrily pointed at Wilmer. I don't know why I was angry at him, I just was.

"What about me?" Wilmer asked, raising an eyebrow.

"If I wasn't so focused on our relationship, I would've been able to know that Alex was hurting!" I screamed, not caring that I was attracting attention towards us.

"Demi, calm down." I heard Eddie say.

"This is your fault." I snarled as I pointed my finger at his face.

"Hermosa-" Wilmer started speaking but I cut him off.

"Get out." I pointed towards the hospital doors.

"You can't just-" Wilmer started speaking again.

"Get out!" I cried, tears blurring my vision. "I.. I'll call you when I find something out... just.. get out." I whimpered. He nodded sadly before leaving. I sighed heavily, sitting back down in my chair as I hid my face in my hands.

"It'll be okay.." Mom whispered as she pulled me into her embrace, which I gratefully accepted.

"Family of Alexis Lovato?" A doctor came out into the waiting area. I instantly stood up and rushed over to the doctor.

"H-How is she?" I asked nervously.

"I'm sorry to say this.." He stopped talking, thinking of ways to say what he was about to say. "She didn't make it. I'm so sorry, Miss Lovato."

"N-No!" I cried out. "P-Please say you're lying!" I yelled as Eddie pulled me into a hug. My baby girl can't be gone. She just can't be.

"I'm so sorry." The doctor apologized again.

"If you want, you guys can see her and say goodbye." He suggested.

"P-Please.." I whispered.

"Dems, I don't think that will be a good idea.." Dallas spoke up.

"I need to say bye to her.." I replied. The doctor nodded as he brought us to her room. He opened the door and motioned us to go in there. If it was even possible, I broke down crying more as I saw my daughter's lifeless body on the hospital bed. Also the thought of having to plan a funeral for my own daughter. I wish I would've known she was struggling this much before she had the idea of killing herself. I could've helped her.

"Demi, are you sure you want to be in here?" Eddie asked me. I ignored his question as I sat down on the chair next to the bed.

"I'm so sorry, baby girl." I let out a breathe I didn't realize I was holding in. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry I couldn't make you happy. I'm sorry for not giving you the full life you deserve. I'm so sorry.. I should've been there." I choked out as I held onto her hand. "I love you, baby girl." I whispered. We sat there for several minutes in silence before I let go of her hand and stood up.

"I think it will be best if you stay with us for a bit." Mom told me and I silently agreed.

"I'll just have to go home, pack a few things, and bring the dogs." I quietly replied as we exited the hospital room. My baby girl is gone. It's hard to believe and it saddens me. What would drive her over the edge to do this? We all walked out to the car, not wanting to believe that she's gone.

"Do you want one of us to go in with you?" Eddie asked as we pulled up at the front of my house. I nodded and we agreed that Dallas would go in with me.

"How are you really holding up, Dems?" Dallas asked as I packed clothes into a suitcase.

"It hurts, Dally." I whispered. "I could've stopped her and been there for her.. but I was too busy having a love life with Wilmer.. I just assumed she was okay." I wiped away some of my tears with the back of my hand.

"It's not your fault. I want you to know that. None of us seen it coming. I think one of us would've seen it coming over the past week." Dallas told me. Alex did hang out with everyone in the family this past week, and I'm surprised no one notice.

"She must've hid her pain pretty well then." I sighed as I finished packing my clothes. "Can you grab the dogs?" I asked her. Dallas nodded and went downstairs to get their collars and leashes.

I grabbed my suitcase and before I went downstairs, I stopped at Alex's door. I slowly opened it up and it looked the same as before we left for the hospital. I covered my mouth as I let out a choked sob. I walked over to Alex's bedside table and grabbed her phone. Hopefully I can find answers to why she got pushed over the edge. I saw two notes on the bed. One was labeled To Friends and Family and the other one was labeled To Mom. I grabbed ahold of them and shakily put it into my pockets. I stepped out of Alex's room and shut her door. I won't hear her blasting her music ever again. I won't be able to yell at her to turn it down. I'm not going to be able to hold her and sing to her while she's scared or sleeping. I'm not going to be able to have any more moments with her. It's always the little things you take for granted.

"Are you ready?" Dallas asked. I nodded as we went downstairs and out the door to the car. Ella and Batman were sitting on our laps as they both started whimpering. I think they realized Alex isn't here. Dogs can figure that stuff out, right?

"It's going to be so stressful trying to plan her funeral.." I spoke quietly.

"Don't worry.. we'll help you, baby girl." Mom reassured me. I leaned my head against the window, looking at all the Christmas lights people hung up. How are the holidays going to be without her?

- FLASHBACK -

"Mommy! Mommy!" My eight year old daughter jumped on my bed. "Santa came! He ate all the cookies too!" Alex exclaimed as she got off my bed.

"Did he really?" I chuckled at my daughter's excitement as I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

"Come on! Let's go!" Alex grabbed ahold of my hand, trying to get me out of bed.

"Okay, okay. Hold on." I smiled as I got out of bed. "We have to wait for Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Dallas, and Aunt Maddie to get here." I told her as we went downstairs.

"They're too slow." She pouted and crossed her arms.

"I know. They're such slowpokes." I laughed.

"We're here!" Eddie's voice boomed as he entered the house.

"You guys are such slowpokes!" Alex exclaimed as she ran up to them and hugged them.

"Alex!" I exclaimed and giggled. "Apologize to them."

"You even said it yourself, Mommy!" She whined.

"Guilty." I said as I raised my hand, causing everyone to laugh.

"Can we open presents now?" Alex asked eagerly.

"It's not about the presents, Alex." I spoke sternly.

"I know, but I made you something at school!" She smiled.

"We'll open presents after breakfast, baby girl. Okay?" I told her.

"Fine." She mumbled and sat down to eat breakfast. After breakfast, Alex ran up to her room and came back with something covered with newspaper.

"What is that?" I questioned.

"It's your present that I made you!"

"I'm still eating, Alex." I told her as she tried handing the gift over to me. She gave me the puppy dog eyes and I couldn't say no. "Okay, I'll open it."

"Yay!" She screamed. I unwrapped the gift that was covered with newspaper and saw it was a handmade ornament. Three popsicle sticks created a triangle, a star cut out of construction paper was glued to the top, tiny pom poms were glued on the popsicle sticks, and a rectangle piece of brown construction paper was glued at the bottom. "Miss Miller helped us a bit." She smiled.

"I love it, baby girl." I smiled as I hugged her. "In fact, I'm going to hang it up right now." I got up from the table and put the ornament on the tree. Her smile was as wide as it could be for a little eight year old. "Merry Christmas, baby girl." I hugged her again.

"Merry Christmas, Mommy." She hugged back tightly.

- FLASHBACK OVER -

Holidays definitely aren't going to be the same without her.