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Headed by a Snake

I woke up in this world with a System and a sword. Without hesitation, I chose to complete the princess’ quest with my weapons: Arrogance. Cunning. Pride. I will lead guild Sol Invictus. Denizens of the 7 hells, respect me. Servants of the 11 heavens, know fear. Guild Invictus, know the suffering of training so you can wrest victory from the jaws of those who dare doubt you. This is a story about a snake named Tycondrius waking up in a fantasy world of swords and sorcery. There is action, violence, unapologetic murder, and arrogant displays of power. There is an emphasis on combat growth as well as psychological growth on more than a few members of Guild Invictus. There is camaraderie and also the inevitable comedic dialogue amongst manly men. There are even elements of romance and Tycon running away from terrifying, powerful women. (Did you know most female snakes eat their partners after mating?) Give this book a read. I hope some of these stories can inspire you to fight your battles with analytical intelligence, heroic courage, and ruthless lethality. Work is completed as of 9May2024. There's also a few side-stories written in Chapter 1151! The Author is working on a new story called 'I Wish You Were Never Reborn.' After four or so years of writing, my skills have much improved. Highly recommend. Here is my discord: https://discord.gg/NNbAj7N Constructive criticism and corrections welcome. Other Authors extra-welcome. You can find a list of characters at https://snek.fandom.com/wiki/Character_List Cover image credit: Johnabrash at Fiverr

CouchSurfingDragon · แฟนตาซี
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1152 Chs

Victoire

Guard Captain Varen Capulet went out for a stroll, taking a break from his desk job. Ever since Baron Zindo Tavor's estate was taken over by House Charm, he had far less time wielding a sword versus wielding a pen. His niece, Sorina, had him charged him with overseeing a number of operations, including coordinating with the local Adventurer's Guild.

It had been a few moons since then, long enough to form a peaceful habit of his new life. He missed patrolling in armor, but not the long hours and the stink of it. He disliked the feel of a sore writing wrist, but it was better waking each morning muscle-sore, all over.

It was a comfortable job, reviewing paperwork, signing each page, talking to the other old adventurers, and most of all, enjoying the company of his adorable niece on the rare times that she could spare the old man a moment. He was even considering retiring soon... It was growing harder and harder to remember the simplest things, sometimes. But he hoped he could be of help to little Sorina until her growing pains as the Invictus' financial officer had passed. 

Varen spotted Sorina approaching, out on her morning run. She was wearing a light tunic and shorts, running at a brisk pace.

Varen waved. It was nice to see the young lady working so hard.

"I hate men! They sh'dall die!!" Sorina was chanting a strange cadence.

Running behind her was the ponytailed mercenary, Korr, keeping Sorina's pace while wearing a weighted metal training vest.

"Could you... do something about that song, Sorina?" Varen asked politely as the duo ran past him. 

"All men are scum, Uncle! Not you, though! Love you!" Sorina smiled, trying to catch her breath.

"KEEP RUNNING, B*TCH!!" Korr yelled, her sword suddenly drawn.

Sorina kept running. She had been working incredibly hard, hosting merchants and establishing several trade contracts in the few weeks she's been in power. On top of that, she didn't neglect her physical training-- though he was fairly certain Seldin Korr's... encouragement had something to do with that.

Korr stopped in front of Varen, sheathed her sword, and gave a polite bow.

"Ah, Miss Seldin-- ah, you preferred Korr, right?" Varen gave a genial smile.

Korr nodded in response. Varen was already more-or-less used to the woman's quietude.

"I see my niece is still training every waking sun. That's good."

Korr nodded, her smile somewhat forced. Varen appreciated the effort, even though the poor girl's smiling face looked... slightly unnatural.

"What was her regimen again?" Varen scratched his greying head, "Forgive this old man's forgetfulness."

Korr gently pat Varen's arm in an act of care. Varen didn't quite understand, but he was pleased to be doted upon. In Korr's naturally soft voice, she murmured, "100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, and a 6 malm run."

Varen nodded with a hum, "Hmm, impressive. How about martial arts? Has she shown any aptitude for weaponry?"

Korr shook her head, "She shows promise with wands."

Varen sighed. If that was the case, neither he nor Korr would be able to assist her much. Ah, wands?

Varen suddenly remembered something, "That's right. Miss Korr, when you have some time, please drop by the Adventurer's Guild. I... can't for the life of me, remember why, though."

Korr's eyes looked worried as she nodded. With a small wave, she sprinted full-speed after Sorina. Varen followed her figure as she left.

"Ah. She drew her sword again." Varen mused, "How nice to watch this generation train so hard."

...

Wizardess Victoire Blanchett greeted Varen and Korr on an open-air balcony on the second level of the guildhall. The head of the Adventurer's Guild in Nice was an older woman from Varen's generation, but her skill with makeup (and perhaps a bit of magic) she looked barely older than Korr. Like all magicians in the Kingdom, she valued fashion, and today wore an open wizard's robe, white trousers, and a colorful blouse.

She looked less than thrilled at Varen's arrival.

"So the Capitaine of ze Garde finally decides to grace me with his presence," She complained loud enough for adventurers on the first floor to gawk.

Varen smiled wryly. That wasn't how he remembered it... "I was just here yesterday, President Victoire?"

A sugar cube floated magically from a plate at the table's center and plonked against Varen's forehead. Varen stared down sadly at his tea, where the sugar cube had landed. He didn't like sugar in his tea and he had a feeling Victoire knew that.

"Foolish Capulet, three suns! I asked three suns ago for you!" The woman's speech devolved into a string of curses in the old language.

Korr sat patiently as she quietly picked at a dainty slice of cake Victoire had provided. She wore an artful dark polka-dot dress and a beret atop her dark-red hair, a drastic change from the form-fitting armor Varen was used to her wearing.

She seemed to notice his gaze, "I broke my armor and still need it fixed."

Varen nodded. Had she told him that before?

Victoire leaned over the table, "Ahh, Korr, my beautiful fox! It 'as been many years, no? Every year, we still send flowers to Raoul's grave."

Seldin Korr nodded with a small smile, "It's fine, Victoire... I have a new leader now."

In a magical poof of pink clouds, Victoire reappeared behind Korr's chair, hugging her and nuzzling her cheek. Varen gulped at the woman's brazenness. President Victoire had become a Circle Mage as a young teenager and was one of the most dangerous peak Second-Circle magic casters on the east side of the Kingdom.

Unbothered by the president's affection, Korr lifted a tiny fork of cake to her mouth.

"So tell me, tell me. What is he like, ze new Baron? Is he 'andsome? Do you grow LOST in his eyes!? And is he very powerful in ze nighttime, if you know what I mean? Hohoh!"

Varen narrowed his eyes, "Madam President! Really? Miss Seldin Korr is a professional, not a--"

The wizardess hissed like a cat, and pressed her ample bosom into the back of Korr's head in an embrace, "Pah! What do you know, you old geezer!? Korr ze Unbreakable may be a tiger on the battlefield, but she is a petit kitty when it comes to love~! Isn't zat right, my little fox?!?"

"Yes." Korr gave a simple one-word answer. Varen doubted she was even listening to the conversation.

Varen coughed, "Well, anyroad... why have you called us here, President Victoire?"

After Victoire finished her petting session, she rested her chin on Korr's head. "Ze former-Baron has woken up from his coma. He has had... some very... mmm~ interesting things to say."

Varen crossed his arms in thought, "Can... Zindo do anything? I mean, legally."

"Non," she responded. "Ze Kingdom's inspectors have come and zey have gone. The Council saw fit to strip Zindo of his barony for his crimes. Baron Tycon's coup of his estate was ratified soon afterward-- perhaps too easily... but zat is none of our business."

Varen couldn't make sense of it, "Then what could he possibly do?"

Victoire stood up with a shrug and a charming wink, "I'm almost certain ze fool will tell you, once we see him. Won't the two of you accompany an old woman to the guild dungeons?"

Victoire - “So tell me, my little fox, ‘ave you eaten up ze young Baron yet?”

*Tycon hundreds of miles away* “System, inquiry: Why do I feel danger?”

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