Haiseism

tunk

thunk

…

"Oi"

tink

tlank

hawk tuah

*plip*

"GYAH"

My eyes shot wide open. 

"Gyuhuh gyuhuh… gulp"

As I looked around I found nothingness. 

No ground. No light. No anything. 

Only me.

I swear I just felt somebody spit on that thang aka my face. 

"Oi Haise chan"

That voice. 

I knew it from somewhere.  

"Yare yare dawa. This how you greet your old man after all these years."

Old man…

"OTO SAN"

I turned around but still nothing. 

Nani…

"I can't believe your letting that poser mog you like that Haisey boy."

"You're*"

"Ahhhh gomen gomen. Embarrassing !!"

His voice came from a random direction every time.

"Etto… well you see my hoopism is gone git… that's so negative aura of me. I can't do it."

"Whadya need a hoopism for. I gave you my gyatt for a reason ya know."

"Eh ?"

"I passed down my gyatt to you bro. How else you think all of those yaps of yours were able to make things go your way so much."

"Our gyatts. We did that ?"

BBGGGGRRNNBHHH

"Ah looks like I'm running short on time."

DGGRRGGRRHHHHHE

"Matte matte matte. Where did-"

BFRETGUYHBN

HGRNHHT

"That Abi chick was something special huh. Looks like that last bit of gyatt energy she gave you was the push you needed."

Abi chan. 

ABI CHAN.

BBFREAAGHM

SHHHHYYJKJJUTT

DFBHEEG

"MATTE"

"Ganbere ganbere overthinking hooper"

-

drnrnrnrnrnrnrnrn

I felt the rain run down my face. 

Or was it my tears. 

Probably both. 

My eyes burned. 

Abi chan lied on the ground beside me. 

"Done throwing that little hissy fit of yours. Waaaa waaaaaa baby want his bottle waaa wa. Goo goo gaga waaaa ya know what I'm saying."

What the fuck was he talking about. 

"Say you kinda look like bopskittles kid brother. Gyahhh his name is on the tippity tip of my tongue."

Gyatt energy…

Were my yaps really behind allat ?

"Ahhh I remember. It was Mrskittlealt. He your dad or somethin ?"

Nani.

"Skittle was oto sans brother ?"

Uncskittle…

DNNNNNNNN

Boble gave me a left hook straight in the kisser and sent me flying. 

I can take this. 

SKSHH SKERRR

My body skid across the ocean of hoopers scattered throughout the floor, but I was able to twist my body around to land back up on my feet. 

I felt a tear come out of my eye. 

My yaps huh ?

JHNNNNNNN

Boble flew straight at me charging up his fist.

This beta think he can punch me ?

BRRRRRRRMMNNNN

As he swung his fist down, time began to slow. 

DRRRRR

It got closer. 

DRRRRRRMMMNMNNNNN

And closer. 

DRNNNNMMNNMNNMMMMMMMMMM

I could feel the blood gushing out from my eyes.

I threw a punch of my own. 

BFNNFNDHFHDNDNN

Our auras clashed together sending us both flying back. 

It must have sent him pretty far cuz I could barely make out his silhouette rushing back. 

DNMRNHRN

He kicked me right in my spine. 

FRHNRNRH

Then uppercut me into the sky. 

DNNNR

CFHURES

NHGGBNN

My body was taking hits all over. 

I couldn't make out from how or where. 

It was happening to quick for me to react. 

I needed to get back down. 

WRNBRNT

He pummeled be straight back to the ground. 

"CLEH"

I guess that sorta worked. 

"Oi"

He stomped his foot down on my chest. 

I could hardly make out anything. 

It was all blurred. 

Fix my vision. 

"I am the Kami of the new world. Got it Haiseter."

He pushed his foot down harder. 

CRHRNRNH

I could feel the ground around me breaking apart. 

My eyes still weren't fixed. 

Get him off of me. 

"I eat nerds like you for breakfast"

GRNNGNBH

"So just go back to lobby little bro"

It wasn't working. 

I don't need these.

clhnchcn

I dug my fingers into my eyes. 

vlipppp

And tore them out. 

zrnnrnrnnrnrnrnrnrnrn

NZNZNZMSMEMMEN

My body was engulfed in aura. 

JRPMNMMM

It blasted Boble off my chest. 

I could feel everything. 

Before my yaps only affected what I could see. 

Now I didn't need to see anything. 

There were still hoopers around us but they were unable to fight. 

Snail tard Bando Hahaha and Joma were still okay. 

Hmmmm and Kenju were looking after them. 

I couldn't find Chrys sensei tho. 

ZRNNMMP

Boble was back. 

JRNRNR

He shot a wave of L aura at me. 

blmmmmm

But it had no effect. 

"Nani…"

A basketball. 

plip

One appeared in my hand. 

ZRNRNRN

I could feel the world around me warp. 

Not today Jose.

blzlzlzlzp

"NANDE…"

Heh.

SWOWOPW

A hoop shot up behind him. 

blin blim blin

I rushed forward, dribbling the ball. 

"I am the Overthinking Hooper."

ZNRNRNRN

"And this…"

BLAM

Dunked over his head.

"Is my Haiseism"

BRBBRNRNRBRBRBRBNRNRBRMNRBRNNRBRBRNRBRBRBNRBRBBRNRNRBBRNRBRV

-

We were in a domain of my own now. 

"Trying to pull a stunt like that little Fennboy huh ?"

He summoned the ring of basketball projectiles around him again.

"BOBLE SUGOI BASKETBALL BARRAGE"

BDNDNDNDNNDNDNDNDNDNND

A stream of thousands of basketballs shot straight at me. 

They nicked away at me little by little, but it wasn't anything thee old Haiseter couldn't take. 

I collected all of the balls that shot past me into my domain, until Boble ran out of steam. 

Now to return to sender. 

"OI"

BZBZHHZNRN

I instant transmissioned behind him. 

"BACKSHOTS OF DOOM"

BDNDNDNNDNDNNDNDNDNDNDNNDNDNNDN

And shot all the balls straight into his back. 

"GYAHHHHH"

"Boi it's just baskaball. Always acting like a kid it's just baskaball"

"USODA"

A wave of energy shot out of boble and broke the stream of balls. 

"Lord Skibidi made me a Kami."

DNRNRNNRNR

He slammed his fist right into my cheek. 

DNRNRNRNNRNRN

I slammed mine right into his. 

"But you lost your gyatt."

ZNRMRMRMRMRMRMRP

Our auras clashed again and sent us flying back. 

My Haiseism had evened the playing field but that was it. 

It wasn't gonna be enough to stop boble. 

At this rate it would only lead to a draw. 

I needed more gyatt energy. 

DNRNRN

BRORPRVRN

JAMSNCHFJ

I was being attacked from every direction again

BLINK BALN BAN

But was able to guard against most of it. 

How could I tip the scales.

BDBRHRM

BDHDHDN

What if I just made him stop. 

BR-

"Ehhhh"

DBNRHRBRS

DHHRRJIDDUHDBEBR

DBRUHRVRBRJRJURBR

It worked for a second but then he started coming at me harder.

Yoink. 

I was able to grab his leg, stopping the attacks. 

"Sorry bro I need a little time"

Spinning around I flung him across my domain with all my strength. 

"So long gay boble"

How could I get more energy fast. 

Abi chan. 

I got it. 

"Oi, mina"

My tomadachis could help. 

"This is the Haiseter. I need you all to raise your arms up to the sky"

One final blow atta do it. 

"AND LEND ME YOUR ENERGY"

The Spirit Gyatt. 

-

Queue Sorairo Days. 

-

"You hear that Ethan sensei ?"

"So the not so little little ol Haise chan has finally grown up…"

"Wasn't he that smelly otaku that used to come in."

"Oi, heh, get everyone in the dining room to raise their arms. A loyal customer is in need."

"Hai!!"

-

"Isn't that the kid AJ used to talk about."

"They played on the team together right"

"This probably has to do with all that mayhem going on in front of the schoo. Let's help em vfx gang."

"Hai!!"

-

"You raise your arms too bando. Even if the wind does start to blow you away."

"Mayn this bruv always askin fa too much donnya think"

"Joma chan you can call the OHFC right"

"Hai!!"

-

"Listen fellas our great leader is in need. Spread the word around the school to get everyone to raise their arms."

"THE OVERTHINKING HOOPER NEEDS US?!"

"HAI!!"

-

snwnwhwhwnwnwwhh

"Arigato mina…"

With my arms raised above my head all the gyatt energy began to swell up into a giant ball of aura. 

The gyatts of everyone who's helped me throughout my journey as the overthinking hooper. 

Surely this would be enough to take out boble. 

"AND DONT CALL ME SHIRLEY"

Gomen Abi chan. 

I couldn't have gotten this far without you. 

I won't break our promise to become the best average thinking hooper there is. 

I just have one more thing to take care of. 

"WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"

He came sprinting back. 

Just the otaku I was looking for. 

"So this is your last ditch effort huh Haiseter."

DNRNRNRNRNRN

He stuck out his arms and started pulling down the Spirit Gyatt with all his might. 

SHHRHRH

He was trying to make it hit me instead. 

Not a chance. 

BRBRNNRNRN

This is the perfect opportunity. 

"GYAHHH"

Boble was frozen in place. 

"Nani. I can't move. NANDE CAN'T I MOVE. TELL ME."

"You didn't say please."

"Please ? What please ?"

He charged up a beam of energy from his arm. 

"ALL RIGHT PLEASE "

BBSNSHSHS

The beam flew straight into my face. 

BLEHN

And didn't leave a scratch. 

"Nani…"

"You can destroy Hoopers but you can never destroy what I am, tomadachi" 

"Nani. NANI ARE YOU ?"

"I am the hope of all hoopers. I am the answer to all living otakus that cry out for peace. I am protector of waifus, I am the light in the darkness. I am truth."

"GYULP"

"I AM HAISE THE AVERAGE THINKING HOOPER. ALLY TO GOOD, NIGHTMARE TO YOU."

BRBRNRNNZNZ

"AND THIS"

BBRHRHHRBRNRNRHHENSNEHRHRHRN

"IS FOR THE FALLEN"

BXBHDHDBSNNDNDHXHXHJSJZNSHSGHSNZNZHZGHSNSJZHTZHZJSHTSHSJDNNDNDNDNNENEHENSNSHDHDHZHJZHZHZHZHZJZHHZHZGZ

I threw down the Spirit Gyatt with all my force. 

I don't know how I was able to keep him frozen in place for so long but I just needed to hold a little bit longer. 

"WRYYYYYYYYY"

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZRNNRNRNRNRNNRNRNRNNRNRNRNRNNRNRNNRNRNRNNRNRNRNNRNRNRNRNNRNRNRNRNRNRNRNRNRNNRNRNRN

"NO WAY JOSE"

Boble was able to free himself and push back against the Spirit Gyatt right before it crashed into him. 

Looks like I have to finish this myself. 

I bolted straight down into the ball of gyatt energy and punched it with all my force. 

BRBRNNRNRNRBRBRBRNNR

My fist was becoming the center of all the energy.

CKRKCHSHSJSK

HSJSJNANANJRJRJE

SHINJKCCCNNCNCNCNCNCN

The force of our auras shattered my domain. 

We were back in front of the school on top of the ocean of hooper bodies. 

Boble wasn't letting up at all, so I couldn't either. 

The harder I pushed my fist into the Spirit Gyatt the more it began to surround me. 

Maybe if I could concentrate the energy into my fist I can punch it straight through him. 

"LORD SKIBIDI. ONEGAI. HELP ME."

BRHRHRHTNTMTM

A toilet shot up from the ground. 

A flushing sound played and a head came spinning out.

"Why have you summoned me."

"SEE ALL THIS GYATT ENERGY. IT CAN BE YOURS. JUST HELP ME OUT."

"Muda muda muda. I expected better from you boble. I'm outta here."

GRNHRNRNRH

The toilet sunk back into the ground. 

"MATTTTE. DAMN YOU LORD SKIBIDI"

This is it. 

FWNWNWNWNWNNWNWNWNWNNWNWN

All of the energy absorbed into my hand and I flew straight toward boble. 

DNNRNRNRNRNRNRN

My fist crashing straight into his face. 

NDMDMDNNNDNDNNRNRNDNDNNDNDNDNRNNDNDNRNRNNDNDMRNDNDNDNNDNRNRNRNRNMRNRNDMDNDNRNNDNDNDNNDMRNRNRNDNDNNDNDBDNDNNDBDNDNDBDNDNBDNDND

-

"Ka ka. Omedetou Haise kun."

-

Boble laid flat on the ground in front of me. 

I couldn't feel the Hoopers anymore. It seemed all of their bodies disappeared. 

It was finally over. 

"Arigato mina, we did it."

I fell forward onto the ground. 

Right beside boble. 

My body was killing me. 

I couldn't move anymore. 

"Heh… guess this is it for me too."

brnnnnnn

Brnnnnnnnnnnnn

BRNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

What was that noise. 

HONK

A truck was coming at us full speed. 

I guess we were lying in the middle of a road. 

SKRRRRRNNNNNNNN

Just please don't isekai me into a misunderstood sigma. 

BRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

END OF PART III. THE TOURNAMENT OF BACKSHOTS.