Prologue

"Uhmm… hi… sorry to bother you but can I sit with you? I swear I'm not hitting on you or anything. I just really want to sit and drink quietly rather than stand somewhere and attract unwanted attention." I said to the guy with a hoodie sitting in the corner by himself.

"Sure. Go ahead." He said as he signaled me to sit.

I felt relieved that he agreed and sat down. I looked at my drink and remembered why I'm in this bar and drinking during a Thursday night.

Don't get me wrong, I took a day off tomorrow so I can get drunk as much as I want tonight which probably would not happen as I'm a coward. I don't want to wake up in the corner of some street in the morning or worse in some guy's bed.

Anyway, I think I'm having a midlife crisis. I'm at a point in my life where I don't even know why I'm doing what I'm doing. I can't even say I like what I'm doing.

I graduated with a bachelor's degree in computer science because my parents told me so. I don't really have any grand dreams in life. I just want to live comfortably for the rest of my life without worrying whether I have enough money to get by for the rest of the month and I am living that way now. It's not an extravagant life but I can pay my bills, put food on the table, buy new clothes once in a while, and save some extra money. It's more than some people.

I left my home country for country X after I graduated from university and worked on my "dream job". Lasted about a year before I quit and went back to my home country and worked there. Maybe it's their workaholic culture that stressed me out or it's just me being not good enough.

After working for another year and a half I got offered a job here in country Z. I was hesitant at first but the salary was way more than what I'm earning in my home country. I also didn't like the job I had there and was losing motivation. I thought accepting this job would give me more perspective in what I want to do with my life and it did and for a while I got back my motivation.

Now at 26 years old, I'm asking what am I doing with my life? I sometimes feel like a dandelion floating wherever the wind blows with no specific direction. I envy those who work with passion for doing what they want. I don't even know what I want.

"You really just gonna sit there and brood for the whole night?" The guy in front of me asked.

"That's the plan?" I replied sadly.

"Can we change plans? Before we end up starting a brooding competition." He said.

I can feel that he's trying to lift the mood so I gave up on my brooding.

"Skyler." He introduced and held out his hand.

"Fay." I said and shook his hand.

"So what brought you here?" He asked.

"The drinks." I replied.

"You could also drink at home yet here you are drinking in a bar, you don't really feel comfortable." He said.

"What makes you say I'm not comfortable here?" I asked, feeling defensive.

I don't normally come here but I'm not that out of place am I?

"You asked to join me here. You have your head bowed down on your drink that you have been staring at for at least 20 mins since you sat there." He explained.

"Is there a time limit for drinks?" I asked.

"Not really but most people would have taken a sip or two by now." He answered.

"Okay maybe I am a little uncomfortable. I don't usually hang out in bars. I just wanted to drink and not be alone." I replied.

"Don't you have friends?" He asked.

"My roommate has something on tomorrow and can't join me. No other friends, a lot of workmates but I don't really wanna see them now." I explained and finally took a sip from my drink.

"Trouble at work?" He asked.

"Trouble with life." I replied.

"Wow. Aren't we all?" He replied sarcastically.

"Well… I don't really care much about other people's lives but mine is going nowhere. I feel like I'm floating to wherever the wind blows with no specific direction like a dandelion." I said and sighed.

"Do you live in a house?" He asked.

"Yeah. Why?" I answered.

"Do you have 3 meals a day?" He asked again and I understood where he's going with this.

"Yes and I'm not complaining about those. I just wish I had something I like with passion. Something that even when it gets tough, I can still work hard on it because I love what I do." I explained.

"You don't like your job?" He asked.

"No. I like it but it's not something I can give my 100% to. It's like if I get tired of it, I'm gonna look for the next one who'll offer a higher salary." I replied.

"Having passion for something doesn't necessarily give you happiness, you know. Sometimes, even if you gave your 100% it still doesn't go as planned. Then you find yourself lost without knowing what to do next. Should you try again or maybe it's time to give up." He said melancholily.

"Is that why you're drinking here alone?" I asked.

"Didn't we agree to not have a brooding competition?" He joked and I laughed.

"We're bad at this." I said.

"Why don't we just talk about something else?" He asked.

"Like what? The weather? It's as gloomy as we are." I answered.

"Fine. How about things you would want to do if given the chance to?" He asked.

"Hmmm… I would like to… try… skydiving? See the world? Hmmm… what else?" I said.

"Finding true love?" He suggested.

"I don't believe in that." I replied and laughed.

"You don't believe in true love?" He asked, shocked.

"I do but not in finding it. I believe it will find me when the time is right." I replied.

"Aren't you romantic?" He teased me.

"Or could be just plain lazy. I mean finding true love means I need to get myself out there. Like OUT there. I like spending time in my cave and watching whatever movie or series I can find. So unless a guy would suddenly fall down in our house, finding true love might be a little tough for me." I replied and he laughed.

"I can't believe you laughed at my finding a true love story." I said and pretended to be offended.

"I honestly think that, for you, finding someone is not that hard if you actually put yourself OUT there." He replied.

I know I'm pretty but I'm not that pretty. I'm the plain kind of pretty.

"Guess you aren't having a hard time finding true love with your looks. Actually, you're more like hiding from it." I said.

I mean the guy's handsome. He could totally be a movie star.

"I'm hiding from the unwanted attention." He replied.

"Can't relate to popular people's problems." I said and he rolled his eyes.

We continued chatting about anything and everything. He was a good company.

The next morning, I woke up from the ringing of my phone and saw it was my boss calling me. I'm pretty sure I'm on leave today.

"Hello Fay, sorry to call you when you're on leave but can you drop by the office? The client called regarding the hot fix on the page that you made last Monday and we wanted to clarify some things. Can you come here now?" He asked as soon as I picked up the call.

I looked at the clock that says 9 am and looked at the person beside me. I sighed and told my boss I'll be there in an hour.

I started picking up and wearing my clothes. It's not like I don't remember how we got here. We were still pretty sober when we did what we did. I also don't regret having my first time with him. Definitely don't regret it but a one night stand is a one night stand.

I decided to leave a message before I leave explaining that I'm being called to work. I also left my complete name: Fayrene Lee, just in case.