Flowery Bastard Winning at Life

I am writing this whenever inspiration hits, so there won't be stable updates for it but the whole story is planned so it will finish eventually.

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It all started with that door to door salesman, I was lazing in my room as always, it was one of those rare days where I was alone at home.

I don't know what came over me to actually invite the guy instead of declining him and shutting the door, maybe it was because he had pink hair and looked like Shiba Tatsuya that I let him in.

In the end, he gave me an offer, one that I can't just brush away even though it sounded like bullshit.

Surprisingly it was free as well...

"So, which world am I going to find myself in?" I rather live my boring life with my disabled body if I am going to a death world.

No amount of OP Powers can tempt me into going to Re:Zero or Worm Parahumans you know that type of world.

"You will be a descendant of Merlin Ambrosius in Highschool DxD. You can find the extra details in terms and conditions." He answered my question as he pushed a contract to me.

I read the whole thing, there are no details about who will be my parents other than being Merlin's descendant but I will have three potions as my OP hax bullshit cheats, so where I am starting doesn't matter much as long as I have access to magic I will be fine.

There's also a cosmetic option between choosing DxD Merlin appearance or a custom one.

It doesn't mean I will get his abilities but I chose Type-Moon Merlin as my looks because I don't know how DxD Merlin looks like.

"Why are you even giving me all these cheats for free?" I couldn't help but ask, this isn't a regular reincarnation after all.

"Look man, I went through regular Isekai adventure I even have a fanfic in my name, then came back to my original world, I wanted to use my newfound powers to get a decent job and marry my highschool girlfriend.

But turns out that I have to become a salaryman in the epilogue as per protocol. I am sick of it, you're my last customer in the epilogue after this I am taking over Apple, Google, and Microsoft. I honestly want to get this over with real quick." He had a dreamy look while saying how he plans world domination via mass overtake.

Wow, apparently he is a former protagonist...

"Why is there such a protocol anyway?" I asked not knowing it would trigger him.

"It is put to make the protagonist relatable for the readers... I saved worlds! I fucked big tiddy hentai elves... Well, that one was to save my life so it is not cheating... I turned Gods into my slaves!

Once I came back some prick tells me, making me a salaryman is the critical point to become relatable, fuck that!... Sorry, it is kind of a sore spot for me." He even bowed, how Japanese like.

"Ehh, don't worry about it..." I quickly put an end to that topic and signed the papers, it is mostly about guarantees for my family's lives so that I won't miss here.

It turns out I won't be able to come back like the Shiba Natsu in front of me did... Wait is he the unholy mix of Godsuya and Natsu? I should have guessed that earlier really.

"Well, here's your potions. I will handle your corpse after you drink them." Saying something mortifying he gave me the bottles.

I didn't even hesitate and drank the bottles. Just the fact that I will be getting rid of my disability is enough for me to leave this life behind.

"Goodbye chronic pain!" I mean there are painkillers for that but on the other hand, I did watch Dr.House.

Feeling light-headed I lay down and gave Natsu a thumbs up before everything went dark.

...

I signed up for a 'Reincarnation Harem Adventure with OP powers', to have a wish-fulfillment type of stuff...

To be honest I wasn't expecting to find myself in the infamous Sigurd Institute of The Church when I 'woke up' nor was I expecting to be over ten years old.

It kinda threw a giant wrench into my plans since I was hoping to 'save' some people to grind social points just in case and having the powers to stop a tragedy but letting it happen anyway would just leave a bad taste in my mouth.

It also doesn't help that there is no exact timeline on Rias reincarnating her peerage except Akeno who got reincarnated around 10-11 years of age.

Now at the age of 14, there's no one in immediate need of saving other than Valerie and Gasper maybe not since I am not sure when they tired escaping, I even then doubt I can make my way to Romania by the time they try escaping.

I can yoink Valerie later but it is not easy since I can't attack an entire Faction by myself despite them being on the weaker end of the power scaling.

I mean I could, maybe but it will take time and I need to get a grasp on my full abilities.

If I was given enough prep time I could have got her out while she and Gasper tried escaping but I doubt that I can get out of this institute right away.

If I remember Kiba and his friends are going to get gassed during this year as well but I don't even know where that event happens.

As I was saying, I am for some reason in the Sigurd Institute, I already went through the memories of this body that was living on autopilot until last night.

Archmage's infinite memory and genius intellect that comes with (doubtful on that part I feel stupid as ever) let me process the memories at light speed.

Life here is or was bad, they basically desecrated Siegfried's corpse to get a DNA sample and mass-produced clones which most of them died due to bad cloning technology.

The church isn't all that positive on the usage of magic and most consider it heretical.

Siegfried of the Hero Faction was the first success in the cloning project, I don't even want to think about how many children died prematurely before him.

Then these assholes thought "Why don't we play gacha with these genes and see what comes out?" Which makes up the rest of the clones here.

Some got their plugs pulled before taking their first breath, some died after getting out of the artificial wombs, some died mid training due to having health problems due to poor luck by RNGesus on Gene Gacha.

According to my memories, the kids here didn't even see the blue sky before dying.

The rest who survived was thrown into a meat grinder where they were given Demonic Swords stolen from Norse Mythology and have their life spans eaten by the said swords while trying to master them.

There's five survivors at the moment, the first clone that was made without interfering with the DNA he was given the Siegfried name after Gram accepted him and got shipped to Romania to kill vampires.

The second is Freed, his sadistic nature due to birth defects was overlooked because he was a genius with swords and got shipped to train under David Cerro.

The third is Lint which was introduced in the Shin High School DxD series, she's basically gender-swapped Freed with a heart of gold, she too was sent to Romania after Siegfried because he trained her for some time.

I'd say the only reason she turned out okay is that she is introduced as a sword waifu later on.

There's little Sigmund who's 8 at the moment and he is still receiving basic training.

Then there's little ol' me known as N132 yet to be named. They branded me as a vegetable right away due to autopilot thingy and the same thing prevented them from killing me before I took over.

My body was able to learn how to fight so they didn't hold back on training and further experiments due to my ability to wield minor holy swords.

Unlike the rest I was born with purple eyes, my hair color turned similar to that of Caster Merlin after some experiments.

Naturally, I was behind my peers but I didn't die like the rest of the children here, and my 'condition' was suddenly 'cured' during yesterday's sparing where Ewald Cristaldi hit me hard enough to crack my skull.

Unfortunately, my sword skills are not good enough to let me go and join my fellow Artificial Humans in Romania so I can't run away from these nut jobs that call themselves believers.

Well, let us get to the good news. Following my awakening, my OP powers have awakened as well. I just wish that I had freedom of choice but I am not complaining.

Essences of Blank, Archmage, and Harem Protagonist. It is like a Holy Trinity in DxD since I can just train my physical body to cover up any weaknesses I have.

Now I just need to get used to being ten years younger and find a way to escape the Church or get myself excommunicated without getting killed.

Oh by the way I am currently wielding a Fay forged holy sword... Coincidence? I think not!