Epitome Series: The Path To Be A SUPER FAMOUS

Hey i really like IRAS and jay aslan, but they were dropped, so please, make a novel with a system(like iras one), and a moderrn world that technology and Entertainment (films, music, both modern and classic, novels, poems literature and etc) are a little worst than our world and the MC get to use them in this new world, like IRAS. These novels normally get a lot of people viewing them but they drop them too fast. And i need a novel like this sooooo much.

Pls update soon!! Cant wait to read next chapter... .................................................................................................

Thk for updating. Pls update soon!! Cant wait to read next chapter... .................................................................................................

Reveal spoiler

I really hope you continue this novel and have a end to it because this novel deserves to be finished and it’s amazing so please don’t drop it

To start when I'm leaving a review, I don't like to lie so I'll explain why you got this score. Still, if you change some of the things I talked about it could be better. Let's start with good points. Your story is at the"I" This is a good advantage for readers quickly attach themselves to your MC. And you used it to your advantage in the first chapter by making it recount as a dialogue with us and appeals to us. Besides, you surprised us. We thought he would be good at singing, etc. but...no! It was a good twist. On the other hand, you ruined the advantage you had in the second chapter. For example, this scene: >Hmpp too bad I was gonna let you live in the first place if you cooperate!"The middle age man said in a cold tone. Then he looks to his bodyguards beside him. And he said." Beat him to death then search his clothes." "Bye bye Michael Smith!"He said Your character is a witness to this scene, but how does he react? Well... He's not responding. If you were to witness this scene, how would you react? You probably want to run away, don't you? Who knows, if you witness his murder, he might want to kill you. Or, you could try to call the police? Help? But no, your character continues to observe. He doesn't panic, doesn't wonder if he heard wrong. It's like he was walking through a park and hearing a couple talking about their normal day at work. You should take advantage of these scenes to better present your character's personality. You're wasting the advantage you have! By making history in the first perceptive, you can get us attached to the MC more quickly than with second perceptive. And by wasting opportunities like this, it cuts us off as readers. We think: Oh, he's not realistic. I can't get attached to him in this situation because he reacts like a 'character' and not a human. It could say more but I'll stop here. If you really want to do a good novel as Jay Aslan, etc. I would recommend you to review your chapters, change them and post them again. To be frank, what you have here on chapter one is a great outline for a story. But a story isn't just about what happened. It's about how, and why. The moments. Good luck to you and I hope I didn't hurt you or discouraged. I just say it if you want to improve yourself. I hesitated to post it but I thought it could help you. - KimSasha

Shameless Author here, with a shameless review. I wrote a novel recently, which is Call of Ring. It was my very first attempt at writing, and there may be some mistakes and errors in it, but I still feel extremely proud of it and enjoy it thoroughly. Please give my story a try and leave some comments for me. Thank you! https://rb.gy/5s05wc

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