Chapter 3

Tatum: 4 years ago

"Tate, soak the beef. I'd be right back", Nana says while walking out of the kitchen. I quickly soak the beef and go back to slicing the vegetables then I feel a presence come up behind me. I begin to turn to see who it is but before I can make a full turn, I feel big hands on my waist and Nigel's lips come down on mine. I relax into the kiss, loving the feel of him, the scent of him, the comfort he always brings. When he pulls away, he climbs on the counter and sits while watching me with a cocky smile on his face.

"Hello my love", he greets, that cocky smile still in place. I giggle a bit before replying "hi"

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?", I ask still slicing the bell peppers.

"Not what I want you doing", he says suggestively and heat pools down to my core. His effect on me is potent, he makes me go from feeling 1 to feeling a 100 too fast for normalcy. Before I know it, I'm biting my lip in response to the aroused stare he's giving me.

"And what could that be?", I ask, totally playing along. He leans forward and cups my face then kisses me again. This one packed with promises of all the things he wants to do to me. The fact that we're in the kitchen and could be caught any moment doesn't escape my notice and I'm sure it doesn't escape his either but if there's one thing Nigel is good at, it's not giving a fuck. I mind being caught though, after all I'm just a servant here but Nigel's inability to give a fuck is seriously rubbing off on me which is bad since the repercussions are obviously going to be heavier on me. Suddenly, the realization weighs down on me as I consider all the reasons kissing in the kitchen isn't a good idea. I withdraw from the kiss.

"We shouldn't be doing this here Nigel"

"Why not?", he asks, his voice heavy with arousal. He grips my waist and tries to pull me closer but I resist.

"No,seriously Nigel. Anyone could walk in"

"Yeah? Like who?"

"Uhm, your mum, your sister?"

He chuckles softly, clearly enjoying my discomfort

"Don't worry babe. Mom and Carrito went shopping"

"Oh?… yeah, but Nana is still around though. She was here like five minutes ago", I say, looking towards the door, probably expecting Nana to pop in. Nigel's chuckles get louder.

"Jesus. Seriously Tate? All this time, have you seriously thought Nana knows nothing about us?", he asks, surprising me.

"Uhm..", I try to come up with something to say but words elude me. The possibility that Nana knows about us has been a nagging thought in my mind for the longest time. But hearing him voice it makes me realize that she really has known all along. All the side comments, the knowing looks, oh my God, she knows!

"Nana knows everything in this house. I don't know how you possibly thought that she didn't know. But don't worry, she won't tell on us", he continues, trying again to pull me to him.

"Yeah, but I still have to finish this"

"Ugghhh", he's groaning now and it makes me smile till I hear him speak up again.

"Oh hey chica", he shoots down from the counter and goes towards Nana- I didn't see her come in- then circles his arm around her shoulders and leads her towards the fridge.

"What is it now boy?", Nana asks, trying to sound exasperated. It makes me laugh because it's obvious she's trying not to.

"Okay. So Tate would like to be excused from kitchen duty for a while so we can go hang out". The knife I'm holding clangs to the plate as I whip my head around to glare at Nigel who winks- fucking winks- at me like it's funny and we're in on some secret plan. I don't find it funny.

Nana turns to glare at him as well but she's putting in as much energy as a vegetative patient.

"Okay fine. Steal her but don't try this again or I'd whip your ass real good next time", she smacks him with her spatula for good measure which draws a laugh from him.

"Okay, I promise Nana", he says laughing and walking towards me, pulling my hands.

"Come on", he cocks his head towards the door. I begin to remove the apron I'm wearing but he keeps on tugging me.

"Can you be patient? I need to get this off". He turns to me and hastily unties the apron then slips it over my head, giving me a cheeky satisfactory smile.

"There, done. Now come on"

I roll my eyes as he takes my hand and pulls me again towards the kitchens exit all the way to our little cottage. The one in the manor compound but far away that no one really notices it. The manor is large and the cottage is an abandoned staff cottage. Nigel found it when we were kids and renovated it so we could play around in it. Now though, it's a safe space for us. We get to play house here without worrying about being caught .

He uses his keys to unlock the door while I wait behind him, using the opportunity to openly admire him. He's beautiful and he's all mine- for now at least.

"Come on baby", he calls to me when he finally unlocks the door. He leaves the door open for me to get in. The cottage smells like dust and flowers but still has that homely scent. It hasn't been used in a while. I have my own keys but I only ever come here when Nigel's around. Grudgingly, I admit that I don't come here because it feels way too empty without Nigel. Nigel shuts the door behind and comes towards me, wrapping his arm around my waist and leaning in to settle his head in the crook of my neck.

"Hey", he says. I shut my eyes in complete bliss. Having him with me is my own version of heaven. I turn around to face him but he doesn't take his hands off my body for a second.

"Hey", I greet back

"I'm glad I got you alone at last. I can't even have done quality time with my girlfriend anymore", he complains while rolling his eyes, his expression amusing me.

"It's no one's fault Nigel, your mom would skin us if she finds out"

"Yeah but till then…", he kisses me, effectively shutting me up as he leads me to the bedroom. It's the only bedroom in the cottage, a little cozy one just for us. He doesn't take his lips off me as he lays me on the bed, slowly undressing me and caressing me in all the ways that makes me feel the most loved. I help him undress too and he makes love to me while telling me all the ways he cares about me. Carefully assuring me that I'm it for him and he could never want another. I don't want another either because I'm ludicrously in love with him. There's no redemption for me. He has me in a chokehold and he doesn't even know it. Maybe it's because I've never had a male friend or boyfriend besides him but I don't want to either, not when I have him. We've been there for each other for so long. I've known Nigel since my family and I first moved in here when I was three. Nigel was eight back then and he was the kindest kid I knew. I cried a lot as a child and Nigel always comforted me. He would leave the house to seek me out around the manor fields just to give me snacks and sweets because he knew how much I cried. We became closer with time and by the time I was 10, Nigel and I were inseparable. He was like an overprotective big brother to me but I admit I crushed on him since I was eight. The crush never fizzled out though, it stood strong till when we were both teenagers. I don't know if he knew but I didn't want to ruin our friendship, so I never actually told him. I simply kept it to myself. I was sixteen the first time he kissed me. It seemed like he regretted it because I didn't see him for days after that. Shame was a constant in the days he refused to seek me out because I wished it was true, that I was finally getting what I wanted, the boy I loved but even he didn't want me. He saw me as a child and a little sister when I was already so obviously in love with him. We didn't talk again because he went back to college and I didn't see him for a while. Those were my most depressing days. I was so hurt and felt so insignificant. If I wasn't important enough to someone who I'd know since I was a baby, then I was probably not too important to anyone else. I could've never gotten over my feelings for him but I was beginning to accept my fate until he came back from college one Christmas. I had just turned seventeen then and hadn't seen him for more than a year, he didn't come back home after the incident so when I saw him, I was not only surprised but my feelings came rushing back like a hurricane. He was there and he was looking as beautiful as I remembered. He got me a gift for Christmas and one to wish me a happy birthday since he hadn't come back that year for my birthday but wanted to wish me anyways. I thought we were finally going back to how we were, but I was wrong, soon after the day he gave me the gifts, he went back to ignoring me and I felt so broken, I hid in the cottage throughout the next day till dad started looking for me. Nigel was the one to find me, I was in the cottage crying my heart out. When he asked me what was wrong, I was too drained to answer him and he was so worried, he turned pale. He begged me to come back to myself and I burst into tears again but he held me till I stopped crying. The next day, we woke up, tangled in each other in the bed. He looked so shocked that if my heart hadn't been breaking, I would've laughed. We had only slept but his reaction would make you think otherwise. It wasn't the first time we shared a bed but he looked at me all wrong and that's when I realized we could never go back to before. He took me back home and went back to ignoring me until the day my classmate asked me out on a date. Nigel stormed the date and literally carried me out of the park. He was livid. I was angry too because he had no right. It was a big argument but then he kissed me to shut me up and that got me even angrier so I slapped him and walked out. How dare he leave me hanging only to come back when I was finally becoming happy and kiss me the way I've wanted him to all those years??. It was uncouth and totally unacceptable. That seemed to wake him from some slumber because he trailed me every day after then, ruining all my dates and trying to make me talk to him without the anger in my eyes. His actions wore me down and even more so when he finally confessed that's he's loved me for the longest time but couldn't show it because he didn't think I'd reciprocate and also because of our age gap. He wasn't comfortable with how young I was but that didn't really stop his feelings. We started dating when I finally turned eighteen last year and since then, I can't describe the weight of my happiness. I've been on a constant high since then and we've made our relationship work. I love him and always have. I don't know if I can ever stop. Which means I'm fucked.