Regrets

[Warning! Mentions suicide]

As the monster stood around dazedly, trying to comprehend the meaning of his words, Mikael's eyes hurriedly searched for anything that could be used as a weapon.

'I have to finish this in under a minute…'

The room they were in looked like an office.

Books filled the cabinets that lined the left wall while on the right wall was a display of beautiful silver fountain pens. Mikael stood behind a large wooden desk topped with quills and bottles of ink. Behind him, the broken window let in the violent wind that whisked the piles of paper into a tornado and swayed the decorative chandelier that hung overhead the monster.

Mikael's left hand extended to a particularly sharp nibbed fountain pen.

<Active skill: Psychokinesis Lvl. 1 is activated>

The pen subtly vibrated off its holder before it flew, nib-first, to the goblin's left chest.

FWOOOSH!

But before it could pierce through the thick chest muscles, the creature's meaty hands snatched its silver body off the air with astonishing speed!

Mikael was shocked beyond words, 'What the heck?! What's with that reaction speed?!'

Crunch!

The goblin crumpled the metal pen like it was made of tofu. Its expression now morphed into a terrifying mug that radiated a murderous aura.

'And that grip strength!' Mikael broke into cold phantom sweat.

"You. Lied. Kids there." A low growl escaped from its mouth as it realized that it had been lied to.

The monster turned to go but Mikael could not possibly let him.

He hurled random things toward the creature. A book. Another pen. A lamp – but all of them ended up broken on the floor without doing much damage to the creature… if anything, Mikael's feeble attempts only served to annoy the monster.

With only 15 seconds left of his skill, Mikael panicked.

'Unlike the scrawny goblins that I've dealt with so far, this one's difficult... Ugh! What do I do?! Think, Mikael! think!'

He eyed the bottles of ink.

<Active skill: Psychokinesis Lvl. 1 is activated>

The ink bottle flew to the creature's head which it swatted away by instinct, but the force behind it shattered the delicate glass and spilled its contents on the monster's eyes.

"KUUUUHHH! CAN'T SEE!" its arms reflexively shielded its eyes, leaving its chest virtually undefended.

Fwoosh!

Mikael controlled another pen and made it fly toward the monster's back.

Thwack!

"KUAAH!!"

The pen pierced it like an arrow, but it was not enough.

Mikael quickly released his hold on the pen and immediately threw another, this time from the front, and aimed at its heart.

Fwooshh! Thwack!

The pen embedded itself on the muscular chest as black blood dripped from the wound.

"GRAAAAAAAHHH!"

The monster screamed in pain but Mikael was not yet through. He pelted the goblin with hard-bound books and brought down the heavy chandelier.

CRASH!!

Its decorative crystals shattered on impact and the monster lost consciousness.

Three seconds left.

'Again. Just to be sure…'

He lifted the chandelier and let it fall on top of its head again.

The unconscious monster tilted forward, the pen still sticking out of its chest.

BAAM!

It fell, causing the pen to sink deeper into its flesh. Its blood pooled on the floor and it stopped breathing.

'Phew… that was nerve-wracking…'

Ting!

<You have leveled up!>

The system notified him but Mikael had no time to check his sweet rewards as he worried about the children.

"Ah! The kids!"

Mikael flew to the hiding place and talked to the eldest boy with urgency, "Kid, the coast is clear. This door won't last long so, you'll have to change rooms now!"

The boy nodded and the group beelined toward another room.

"Mister… how long do we have to hide? I'm cold and hungry…" one of the younger ones asked.

'But I'm already doing everything that I can.' Mikael spitefully thought.

He watched the child's gaunt body shiver pitifully, "I'm sorry but I'll try to take you home faster. Can you wait for me?"

"Kwooooooohhh!" boisterous laughter erupted from the lower floors as if the monsters were starting a banquet.

After securing the new hiding spot, Mikael went down to the 1st floor to see what was happening.

Sure enough, the monsters were cheering at the new group that arrived. An additional 20 adult goblins with muscular physiques entered the orphanage with humans in tow.

'What?! More enemies?! And more hostages? REALLY?' Mikael suddenly felt feint at the additional amount of work. He wondered if defeating all those monsters for the sake of twelve children was really worth it.

The fact that Mikael wondered so, spoke volumes of who he was when he was alive. Yes, he was sincere about his wish of protecting the children and making sure they come out of this hellhole alive, but his enthusiasm seemed to bottom out as the situation worsened and more people needed saving.

He was already exhausted just thinking about it.

Mikael knew that deep inside, he was still the same old person who decided to commit suicide – the same person who gave up when things seemed impossible. The person who worked his ass off for years, hoping to turn his life around but quitted when no such hope was found.

No. Mikael was not a hero – And that fact remained true even when he was dead… A dead person with an ascension system.

As soon as he received the system, Mikael wanted to become an angel.

But it was way harder than he thought.

Angels were selfless; Mikael was not.

All he wanted was a leisurely afterlife in Elysium and the sense of self-worth that he did not achieve when he was alive… to feel good about himself by becoming something as noble as an angel, but the position came with a responsibility – A burden that Mikael was not confident that he could carry.

'Aaaah… maybe I should just become a demon lord. It seems easier... If I abandon my morals and leave these humans to die, will I accumulate bad karma even without doing anything? Is becoming a bystander a sin?' he contemplated as he eyed the new group that dragged their prisoners off to the upper floors.

Then he chastised himself for his way of thinking as he followed the parade, 'Wake up, Mikael! aren't you in this situation precisely because you were so quick to give up? You gave up on your life and climbed the mountain to end it but as soon as you saw those jagged rocks, you also gave up on taking your own life… even as you were shouting for help, didn't you also give up when the rain drowned your voice? You also gave up defending yourself in the underworld! You should have tried more, Mikael! you should have struggled more! And now, even though you are already a ghost, you should strive not to have any more regrets!'

Mikael finally made up his mind.

"This time… I will not have regrets this time!"

--Chapter end--

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**Elysium = Greek counterpart of Heaven

** Tartarus= Greek counterpart of Hell